A reality is a LOT of men have done something like this....I surely haven't. But, I have witnessed or been present to similar things, or known about them later, esp. in high school. These are just realities for the world we inhabit. It is something I am ashamed of. It makes me look at friends different, and I have severed and dulled ties, in part, due to these things. I really thought about writing an op ed about it all. I knew it was wrong, I just didn't know what to do, or why it was wrong. I thought that was how things were, and I wasn't really wrong in that sense.
So many men, are terrified, if they condemn another, for something they have done, it is like accepting their own guilt. And for women, I think one factor, is MANY women have had something like that happen, or again, been around it, it makes them a victim, which they refuse to be, and it makes them culpable for what they didn't do, or didn't protect, even if only in they're own mind.