Is she dumb or is it just me?

[Cel 510 kid ados forever]

Women be having the WOAT type friends lol

U might as well just stay in ur house or go out by urself...

I'm sitting here trying to imagine one of my homeboys talking some stupid shyt like this...

Hit him wit the
nikka iz you aiight

I had friends who did dumb things but as carmel said if they been there for u through thick and thin that all that really matters.

Ive done things that was dumb and they still there for me. That what friends are for

 

[CarmelBarbie]

Why did they break up 3 times?

She said she was pushing him away and was mean to him. Would get mad and dump him. Like I said real immature and stupid.

 

[The Coochie Assassin]

I just kicked it with my girlies tonight. Lol. And yeah he spent the entire week at her house this week. They fukked so much she said her body hurts but she said they’re still not together yet and taking it slow. I think it’s inappropriate to be having week long sleep overs with this man that’s not even your man yet, when you got a 10 and 15 year old daughter walking around seeing the whole thing take place. As a parent I can’t respect it. But she says she loves him.
Love makes some women stupid, so needless to say he’ll probably move in soon.

Impressive for a dude in your opinion. Not unless she herself in the bedroom lol. Shout out to the brotha if he had her tapping out.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

Is it that she consciously likes men who are doing less than she is or does she subconsciously not believe she is worthy of a man who can be her equal? What did her own mama model for her when she was a little girl? She might just be repeating the cycle with her own daughters, which is the real tragedy here, in my opinion.

My first reaction was to call this lady dumb as hell, but to be honest, it’s just because my perspective is different. I grew up watching my mother accept nothing less than she she asked for, and she grew up watching her mama do the same. When it’s what you are used to seeing - commanding respect and correctness from a man - even as a young girl, I imagine it would be hard to even end up in a situation like your friend...unless this is what she was seeing with the matriarchs in her life.

She can turn it around but she needs to be single and working on herself first.

She grew up in a religious cult in some trailer park. She actually had a really weird life. Her mama tolerated a lot from her father too. I think that could actually be contributing to her making the decisions she makes.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

I feel what you saying here, but you acting like she doesn't have a shyt ton of baggage herself. With the exception of her being a bit more financially stable than him, she has just as much baggage as him, probably MORE when you consider her selfish and destructive nature (as you previously mentioned).

But life is full of trade offs. She wants to be the one in the control and be treated a certain way, well its hard to find a man that has all his shyt together that is willing to give ALL of that in the fashion she seems to want. It doesn't sound like an ideal relationship at all, but sometimes the devil you know is better than the devil you don't.

Does she have dating/keeping a man problems? She sounds like she has trouble keeping a worthwhile man around longer than 3-4 months.

Yeah tons of emotional baggage.
But she’s had long term relationships. And been engaged a couple of times. Thankfully started therapy last week.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

Thank you everyone.

 

[Elle Seven]

She grew up in a religious cult in some trailer park. She actually had a really weird life. Her mama tolerated a lot from her father too. I think that could actually be contributing to her making the decisions she makes.

It absolutely does. Sounds like the foundation for her patterns were set very early....especially of the cult emphasized the importance for male leadership/presence in a household at all costs. It's hard to outrun internal programming like that. Hopefully her girls can break the cycle.

 

[PikaDaDon]

Many women believe that having a man is better than being single. Any man is better than no man hence the desperation.

 

[The Coochie Assassin]

Many women believe that having a man is better than being single. Any man is better than no man hence the desperation.

I've noticed with many women, dating is their hobby. Lots of women will say they date for fun like they going fishing or hiking. The woman in the OP keeps going back because it's something to do until she gets bored and she wants to date someone else.