Is running away an option for my cousin? EDIT *Talked to my cousin to wait a little while longer*

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DrX

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ZoeGod said:
The father is very stubborn. He once called him "fresh" for even trying to talk to him about getting ajob. He said something like "oh you want a job so you can boss me around the house!" I have seen his pops mad at him and its very disgusting. SMH. I feel for him for real. The father is irrational and very emotional.
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pops see him as a threat, hes trying to hold him back some he cant surpass him. His pops is enslaving him by keeping him broke, under his roof....it gives him a victim to take his rage out on....ol boy need to move to another state ASAP...fukk money....just take that loan and hit grad school...the debt might be worth his sanity
 
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ZoeGod said:
My pops and my uncle are brothers. They both strict and shyt but they dont have a close relationship. They call each other from time to time but my pops has a dont get involved type of attitude but he hates how my uncle is operating with his family.My pops is sterict but he learned to let loos as I gotten ilder because he raised me right and trusted me. My mom doesnt like my uncle. She calls him a haitian term "bete noire." What is your opinion on this matter tho. Should he just move out? Or stick it out. I dont think he can stick it out cuz my uncle is very stubborn,old fashioned and not willing to change.
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I think that they (Mom, Dad and sons) need to tread carefully. For a man who has experienced (no doubt) many indignities, experiencing what he perceives to be disrespect could push him further over the edge.

I think what I wrote earlier is that your cousins should absolutely NOT join the military. If as a last resort, I would say the Coast Guard. But again, I would say that they should only join as officers if they can.

The first thing is confidential counseling I found some good resources before, but I can't find all of them.

Long Island Crisis Center

What Happens When I Call Brighter Tomorrows? | Brighter Tomorrows

There are community centers that can help with job placement/job training for both sons.

Programs & Services | The Door
Programs & Services
The Door provides a wide range of services to meet the needs of New York City youth aged 12-21. See below for a list of program categories, as well as some quick links to all of the programs & services we offer.

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The Talent Search program provides the support and guidance you need to make your way to high school graduation, college and beyond.

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As of 2014, The Door now has two supportive housing communities for young adults who are aging out of foster care or who are homeless. The Lee opened in 2010 with support from Common Ground, and East 9th Street opened in 2014.

Your cousins are adult survivors of child abuse, they literally need to rebuild themselves because they've been torn down:


How Safe Horizon Helps Adult Survivors and Child Victims of Abuse Heal
Our counseling center provides the most effective mental health treatment services to adult survivors of child abuse as well as long-term counseling for children affected by abuse in New York City.


Mom should call a confidential domestic violence hotline: He may have eviscerated her confidence. She needs to also rebuild. If she's more comfortable, she can ask for a Kreyol speaking counselor, though she probably may not need it.

Domestic Violence | NOW-NYC Service Fund | Get Help

As far as jobs, there are agencies/non-profits that may be able to help your cousins:

Covenant House
 
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The older one is eligible for Jobcorps up until 24, so he needs to JUMP on that and put in his application ASAP.

The younger one too.

Program Information

If he turns 25 before he can do the application, he can apply at:

The careeronestop.org centers have FREE funding for college above and beyond regular financial aid. Since he's 24 he will NOT need to provide his Dad's info (unless his Dad is claiming him on taxes).

Regardless, he should go for it.

More free counseling:

https://ymcali.org/family-services/overview/

Free counseling for women:

History - YWCA of Queens

Again, if they want to join the military, they should do the USCG instead:

College Student Pre-Commissioning Initiative (Scholarship Program)

They can get partial scholarships and go in as OFFICERS.

If they want to go straight to college, Washington University in St Louis provides FULL scholarships for Black students:

John B. Ervin Scholars Program | Undergraduate Admissions | Washington University in St. Louis

If they are going to do STEM, then I recommend the SMART fellowship. EXTREMELY good and gives an excellent chance of getting a full time permanent government job after graduation:

SMART - Science, Mathematics & Research for Transformation - Part of the National Defense Education Program

Deadline is December 1, 2015

9 Places to Look for Full Ride Scholarships

If none of that works, then the BEST thing is a community college with a GUARANTEED transfer program to a state school. For example, if you go to community college in Virginia and earn a 3.2 or better, you are GUARANTEED admission to state schools like UVa, VT and William and Mary.

If they go to a really well endowed school like UVa, they will not have to take out any loans since only their Mom is working.

Last thing I remember is that maybe your uncle is not well. Besides the glaucoma, he could have other health issues affecting his mood.

Maybe your Dad can talk to him about applying for SSDI- this is the social security benefits that are for people that have worked, paid into the system and are no longer able to work. It's NOT a handout, because this is the money that was taken from his check and set aside in the case that he became too ill to work.

Social Security Disability Benefits - Online Application Information

This will give him a check (getting his OWN money back) based on his reported earnings over the years. It's a pain in the ass to apply, BUT once he's approved he will be good.

Best wishes to your cousins.

Again, please discourage them from the military. They will go from one bad situation to a worse one.

They're at that age where there are plenty of non-profit organizations willing to help them.

They really need to get sorted over what they endured before they make major life decisions.

I hope any of this helps and sorry for the long ass post. I don't like to see people suffer. It makes me sad.
 
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