Is Fatherlessness A Black Women's Problem, or A Black Males' Problem?

[agnosticlady]

It's a dual problem - from before the very conception, people have a poor understanding of relationship dynamics and go into things blind. They have a child together before they really analyze whether their pairing is going to work out long term. This doesn't always lead to "fatherlessness" - my father has been separated from my mother since I was 1, yet he is still a prominent figure in my life and my mother never prevented me from seeing him. However, in many cases, the relationships are so poorly managed that loved ones suddenly become bitter enemies and the children inevitably become collateral damage.

To me, it's not as simple as women just choosing "deadbeats" - not that it doesn't happen, but it's an overblown argument IMO and used to paint the entire thing. It's simply poorly managed relationships that are usually lust-driven. I understand that sexual attraction is more important now, and at least is not neglected, but in a lot of cases, it becomes the be-all and end-all. It cannot carry a relationship, and it most certainly isn't a factor when it comes to raising children.

I think existing parents should emphasize this to their children by not just telling them about safe sex and shyt, but in educating them about relationship dynamics and how important it is for the couple to be in sync and able to manage their inevitable differences, mechanics of power within the relationship, and the cycles between friction and comfort. This is very rarely done, which is why children are often left at the mercy of failed relations between their parents.

No a lot of the women are choosing partners off of superficial reasons and not whether or not he could be a good father, good protector, good provider, his integrity, and etc. That is how those women end up giving their child terrible fathers. It is really that simple.

 

[mamba]

Ehhh I can't put most of the blame on men, especially when you know how most men are gonna act if it comes down to it, given the option to disappear and have someone else take responsibility they are going to do that... I think women would do the same thing if it was a option really. If it was random between men and women who carried a baby. You'd see women disappear just as much as men.


Anyway Women have too much power when it comes to sex to let any old dude lay up with them. I mean its up to you all to choose who you let smash. So choose wisely...

On a much smaller scale, That would be like me putting most of the blame on walmart for not having more lanes open when clearly should...but I know what to expect when going in there. I'ma go in hoping its different most times, but I can't blame walmart for making me late or holding me up when I know how they operate and there are other choices out there I can go with.

Exactly. That Walmart analogy is perfect.

We all know how they operate with only a few lanes open when they could obviously open more. We can either deal with the fukkery of long lines or head to another store.

What kills me is nikkas who roll up into Walmart and always act surprised when they see only one or two lanes open!

 

[mamba]

No a lot of the women are choosing partners off of superficial reasons and not whether or not he could be a good father, good protector, good provider, his integrity, and etc. That is how those women end up giving their child terrible fathers. It is really that simple.

They consider the "important" stuff AFTER the nikka has already seeded them up.

"I'm knocked up, now. This nikka better be turn out to be a good father, good protector, have integrity, etc."

That's like me going to a car dealership and buying a car sight unseen. As I'm driving it off the lot, I'm thinking, "this shyt better have good brakes, better not have any leaks, better have working A/C, better have good fuel economy, better not have been in any accidents, etc."

"But, hey, the shyt looks fly. Look at that paint job, breh."

 

[agnosticlady]

Key word there is "supposed".

Expect every Black man to be a leader, brehettes.

Expect Black men who demonstrate no leadership qualities prior to knocking you up to magically transform into seasoned leaders of households afterward, brehettes.

Chase after nikkas who are proven followers (chasing trends, etc.) and be surprised when they are not leaders, brehettes.

If you're after a nikka that's a carbon copy of every other nikka out here, you don't have a leader on your hands. Yet, you expect him to lead when the time comes.

Leaders are followers. Vast majority of these nikkas yall get wet over are followers (same tats, same wadrobes, same cars, same shoes, etc. as the next nikka).

Exactly.......too many women chase after superficial men especially when they are young. The sad thing is that many of those women end up having a kid again. They didn't ;earn from the first time. We live in a society that does not hold women accountable for their actions. "Oh he got you pregnant?" , No YOU allowed him to get you pregnant. When we start cutting off benefits for women who have kids out of wedlock, and start holding them accountable I'm sure a lot will think twice before they have unprotected sex. I don't like to see young black women getting on the train with their new born baby, or pushing their baby in stroller in the hot ass sun. Some of them can't really work because nobody will be able to help them with the baby. I rarely meet a woman that say's, "I allowed him to get me pregnant.", instead I always hear, "He got me a pregnant". Let's stop expecting Tupac in a suit or some swagged out dude to be a good father/boyfriend/husband.
A lot of women complain about men being sluts and etc. I always say that a man can not have sex with you unless you are raped. If a lot of women set reasonale worthy standards for a man to have access to their mind and body a lot of men would not have a lot of access to sex. Many would have to see prostitutes or that one chick that everybody knows about. There are a lot of women willingly getting pregnant

 

[mamba]

So you're saying that ALL of those women are choosing the type of black males that would choose to abandon their parental responsibility? And that there isn't a pervasive problem of child abandonment among black males?

Yes. A lot of those white cows masquerading as humans you see out and about with little mixed children also let the same crusty, dusty nikkas skeet up in them that birdbrain Black women allowed the luxury.

Quality Black men aren't just abandoning seeds out here.

Sure, quality Black men may get divorced and then mothers are left with kids, which is another discussion.

But, it's the worthless men that Black and non-Black women are attracted to who are leaving a trail of abandoned kids.

 

[mamba]

Exactly.......too many women chase after superficial men especially when they are young. The sad thing is that many of those women end up having a kid again. They didn't ;earn from the first time. We live in a society that does not hold women accountable for their actions. "Oh he got you pregnant?" , No YOU allowed him to get you pregnant. When we start cutting off benefits for women who have kids out of wedlock, and start holding them accountable I'm sure a lot will think twice before they have unprotected sex. I don't like to see young black women getting on the train with their new born baby, or pushing their baby in stroller in the hot ass sun. Some of them can't really work because nobody will be able to help them with the baby. I rarely meet a woman that say's, "I allowed him to get me pregnant.", instead I always hear, "He got me a pregnant". Let's stop expecting Tupac in a suit or some swagged out dude to be a good father/boyfriend/husband.
A lot of women complain about men being sluts and etc. I always say that a man can not have sex with you unless you are raped. If a lot of women set reasonale worthy standards for a man to have access to their mind and body a lot of men would not have a lot of access to sex. Many would have to see prostitutes or that one chick that everybody knows about. There are a lot of women willingly getting pregnant

I agree. That shyt makes me when I see young Black women with their kids on the bus or pushing a stroller in the hot ass sun.

Should have worked toward being stable and having a car before having a child. About as bad as when I see nikkas waiting for a bus decked out in $500 worth of clothes and shoes when they could have used that money to make a few monthly payments on a car!

I rarely see white women on the bus with a child or standing in the hot ass sun at a bus stop with a stroller. I don't think I've ever seen an Asian, Indian, etc. woman on that shyt! Which tells you all you need to know about their values when it comes to that shyt.

 

[bcrusaderw]

Yes. A lot of those white cows masquerading as humans you see out and about with little mixed children also let the same crusty, dusty nikkas skeet up in them that birdbrain Black women allowed the luxury.

Quality Black men aren't just abandoning seeds out here.

Sure, quality Black men may get divorced and then mothers are left with kids, which is another discussion.

But, it's the worthless men that Black and non-Black women are attracted to who are leaving a trail of abandoned kids.

What a truly convenient and self-serving argument devoid of any personal accountability. There's only one group common to each scenario. What is more likely that every race of women who choose to procreate with black males choose to procreate with deadbeats, or that there are a high percentage of black male deadbeats?

 

[The Mad Titan]

What a truly convenient and self-serving argument devoid of any personal accountability. There's only one group common to each scenario. What is more likely that every race of women who choose to procreate with black males choose to procreate with deadbeats, or that there are a high percentage of black male deadbeats?

A deadbeat white man, broke white man, or junkie and a dead beat black man, broke black man or junkie are looked at totally different by the general population.

One is "what happen to him" The other is "Typical"

White privilege is too strong.

 

[mamba]

What a truly convenient and self-serving argument devoid of any personal accountability. There's only one group common to each scenario. What is more likely that every race of women who choose to procreate with black males choose to procreate with deadbeats, or that there are a high percentage of black male deadbeats?

No one has ever claimed that there are no Black deadbeats. We all know they exist.

The problem is women (both Black and non-Black) allow those nikkas to have access to their bodies and then act surprised when they don't turn out to be great fathers who take responsibility!

We also know there are terrorists in the world who wouldn't mind taking down another plane or crashing it into a building or two. What have airports and the federal government done? They've made it more difficult for them to get on planes!

Imagine if after 9/11 airports didn't refine their processes. If we didn't do more thorough background checks for people wanting to learn how to fly planes?

Who would you blame for another terrorist attack involving planes and airports? The terrorists or the people who had the power to prevent it.

We'd all be looking at the TSA like , not the terrorists. We know the terrorists are still plotting and planning. It's up to us to prevent it.

 

[bcrusaderw]

No one has ever claimed that there are no Black deadbeats. We all know they exist.

The problem is women (both Black and non-Black) allow those nikkas to have access to their bodies and then act surprised when they don't turn out to be great fathers who take responsibility!

We also know there are terrorists in the world who wouldn't mind taking down another plane or crashing it into a building or two. What have airports and the federal government done? They've made it more difficult for them to get on planes!

Imagine if after 9/11 airports didn't refine their processes. If we didn't do more thorough background checks for people wanting to learn how to fly planes?

Who would you blame for another terrorist attack involving planes and airports? The terrorists or the people who had the power to prevent it.

We'd all be looking at the TSA like , not the terrorists. We know the terrorists are still plotting and planning. It's up to us to prevent it.

The percentage of deadbeats is the problem here.

 

[bcrusaderw]

A deadbeat white man, broke white man, or junkie and a dead beat black man, broke black man or junkie are looked at totally different by the general population.

One is "what happen to him" The other is "Typical"

White privilege is too strong.

This isn't about white supremacy. This is about a group of males who litter children across the globe. None of you will admit that the deadbeat problem is pervasive and real. The percentage is such that your average woman of any race couldn't avoid a deadbeat when procreating with black males (as evidenced by their single parenthood rates).

 

[agnosticlady]

The percentage of deadbeats is the problem here.

There is a high percentage of black women procreating with worthless men.

Look at this man with 34 kids by 17 different women. All of the women are stupid for having kids with this man. How do you let him get you pregnant more than once. If more black women had higher standards he would not have an kids to abandon. Why are you having unprotected ex with a man not knowing how many kids he has and by how many different women? A lot of women need to learn that they should ONLY have kids with a man they are married to.
http://www.oprah.com/own-iyanla-fix...4-Children-Never-Considered-a-Vasectomy-Video

 

[bcrusaderw]

There is a high percentage of black women procreating with worthless men.

Look at this man with 34 kids by 17 different women. All of the women are stupid for having kids with this man. How do you let him get you pregnant more than once. If more black women had higher standards he would not have an kids to abandon. Why are you having unprotected ex with a man not knowing how many kids he has and by how many different women? A lot of women need to learn that they should ONLY have kids with a man they are married to.
Iyanla to a Father of 34 Children: Why Didn't You Get a Vasectomy?

If you had watched the interview you would know that he actively his his children from most of those women. Your arguments don't explain the deadbeat problem among biracial children with black fathers. A group of women does not go from a single parenthood rate of 20% to 80% because of her "bad choices". There is a penchant for abandoning parental responsibility among black males.

 

[mamba]

The percentage of deadbeats is the problem here.

There's also a large percentage of women with underdeveloped minds who choose to procreate with said deadbeats. I agree. It's a big problem and is destroying the Black community in the process.

 

[mamba]

If you had watched the interview you would know that he actively his his children from most of those women. Your arguments don't explain the deadbeat problem among biracial children with black fathers. A group of women does not go from a single parenthood rate of 20% to 80% because of her "bad choices". There is a penchant for abandoning parental responsibility among a certain group of black males with whom a sizable percentage of Black and non-Black women have unprotected sexual relations.

Correction.