I take no issue with women in politics as long as they have good policy. But this reads like a popularity tactic.
Is #BlackLivesMatter Leading Nowhere?
- Thread starter Poitier
- Start date
I take no issue with women in politics as long as they have good policy. But this reads like a popularity tactic.
Secure Da Bag
Veteran
I'm not mad at all at Nipsey Hussle's statement. But that Predator poster is not a good look. At least show the cleats, man. Subliminals all in that poster. 
It's a reach.I'm not mad at all at Nipsey Hussle's statement. But that Predator poster is not a good look. At least show the cleats, man. Subliminals all in that poster.
Elle Driver
Veteran
It's a reach.
Nah.
Secure Da Bag
Veteran
Your litany of images NOW shows it's a reach. But just going by that poster alone. Nah, I can completely understand why she would initially react that way. There's a lot of pre-knowledge you need to not interpret it in a negative way.
"Least desirable"
The 2014 OkCupid data resonated so much with 28-year-old Ari Curtis that she used it as the basis of her blog, Least Desirable, about dating as a black woman.
"My goal," she wrote, "is to share stories of what it means to be a minority not in the abstract, but in the awkward, exhilarating, exhausting, devastating and occasionally amusing reality that is the pursuit of love."
"My goal," Curtis wrote on her blog, "is to share stories of what it means to be a minority not in the abstract, but in the awkward, exhilarating, exhausting, devastating and occasionally amusing reality that is the pursuit of love."
Curtis works in marketing in New York City and says that although she loves how open-minded most people in the city are, she didn't always find that quality in dates she started meeting online.
After drinks at a Brooklyn bar, one of her more recent OkCupid matches, a white Jewish man, offered this: "He was like, 'Oh, yeah, my family would never approve of you.' " Curtis explains, "Yeah, because I'm black."
Curtis describes meeting another white man on Tinder, who brought the weight of damaging racial stereotypes to their date. "He was like, 'Oh, so we have to bring the 'hood out of you, bring the ghetto out of you!' " Curtis recounts. "It made me feel like I wasn't enough, who I am wasn't what he expected, and that he wanted me to be somebody else based on my race."
Why might our dating preferences feel racist to others?
Other dating experts have pointed to such stereotypes and lack of multiracial representation in the media as part of the likely reason that plenty of online daters have had discouraging experiences based on their race.
Melissa Hobley, OkCupid's chief marketing officer, says the site has learned from social scientists about other reasons that people's dating preferences come off as racist, including the fact that they often reflect IRL — in real life — norms.
"[When it comes to attraction,] familiarity is a really big piece," Hobley says. "So people tend to be often attracted to the people that they are familiar with. And in a segregated society, that can be harder in certain areas than in others."
Curtis says she relates to that idea because she has had to come to terms with her own biases. After growing up in the mostly white town of Fort Collins, Colo., she says she exclusively dated white men until she moved to New York.
"I feel like there is room, honestly, to say, 'I have a preference for somebody who looks like this.' And if that person happens to be of a certain race, it's hard to blame somebody for that," Curtis says. "But on the other hand, you have to wonder: If racism weren't so ingrained in our culture, would they have those preferences?"
Hobley says the site made changes over the years to encourage users to focus less on potential mates' demographics and appearance and more on what she calls "psychographics."
"Psychographics are things like what you're interested in, what moves you, what your passions are," Hobley says. She also points to a recent study by international researchers that found that a rise in interracial marriages in the U.S. over the past 20 years has coincided with the rise of online dating.
"If dating apps can actually play a role in groups and people getting together [who] otherwise might not, that's really, really exciting," Hobley says.
"Everyone deserves love"
Curtis says she is still conflicted about her own preferences and whether she'll continue to use dating apps. For now, her strategy is to keep a casual attitude about her romantic life.
"If I don't take it seriously, then I don't have to be disappointed when it doesn't go well," she says.
Curtis revisits Covenhoven, a bar in Brooklyn, where, during on a date in 2016, she said a man told her that his family would never approve of her because she is black.
satireprod
Superstar
His fans are women. She needs to be pulling her sisters aside and addressing this. But she wants this to be everyone's problem.With everything that's going on, R Kelly is at the top of their priority list?
So she wants an excuse to date out?
satireprod
Superstar
I hear you on the 1st part
And the second one it's almost cringeworthy when we write think pieces on why white people have bias in dating...
Ironically, that article seems like her preference is a white partner and if a brother tried to get at her she might hold the same bias/stereotypes she encounters
Seems that way. Wonder if anyone will call her on it.I hear you on the 1st part
And the second one it's almost cringeworthy when we write think pieces on why white people have bias in dating...
Ironically, that article seems like her preference is a white partner and if a brother tried to get at her she might hold the same bias/stereotypes she encounters
satireprod
Superstar
Nope, they''ll be accused of being an "ashy hotep"
who are trying to suppress black women
my question is why? why can't we just have a dialogue without animosity?Nope, they''ll be accused of being an "ashy hotep"
to deflect from white supremacy by pointing to the black boogeyman.