I'm infatuated with this new woman I'm seeing. Past situations makes me want to put up a guard,but that wouldn't be fair to her.

[Morethan1]

She cool,educated, cook, good looking and all around solid. I know I'm in the infatuated stage and with any relationships are work

Yet I've seen myself instantly throw up my guard in situations.

Is this normal?

How do I not be this way in these limited situations?

Or is it human nature?

 

[MischievousMonkey]

Don't let your past trauma ruin your future happiness

 

[gurf]

The fact you’re looking for advice instead of instantly throwing your guard up should tell you something.

 

[Morethan1]

Don't let your past trauma ruin your future happiness

That's good advice homie

Thanks

I'm not gonna lie it's gonna be hard but I'll try to take this approach

 

[Rhapscallion Démone]

Either something about her reminds you of the past or you're not over something or someone from the past. It's not necessarily a bad thing to keep your head on swivel in the early stages

 

[Henri Christophe]

Guard up for what? You already thinkin bout marriage?

Also not sure how you know she's "solid" in the infatuation stage.

Just enjoy your time with her.... women are supposed to be fun.

 

[YoungSimpson]

She cool,educated, cook, good looking and all around solid. I know I'm in the infatuated stage and with any relationships are work

Yet I've seen myself instantly throw up my guard in situations.

Is this normal?

How do I not be this way in these limited situations?

Or is it human nature?

Check yourself when you notice you're on bullshyt. Not just an internal mental check, but literally in a mirror and verbalize the shyt. That worked for me.

 

[Dre God]

Let your guard down, worst case scenario she becomes gym motivation, and you become #GMB mafia.

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

what's the point of trying to date if you are paranoid or have baggage. dating should be fun.
go see a therapist and come back to her when you are whole

 

[3:30]

If this is ideally what you look for in a woman ,

It’s ok to not feel like a sucka.

I passed up opportunity after opportunity, just for feeling like a sucka about a situation that was actually meant for me

 

[Morethan1]

Check yourself when you notice you're on bullshyt. Not just an internal mental check, but literally in a mirror and verbalize the shyt. That worked for me.

Solid advice

 

[Morethan1]

what's the point of trying to date if you are paranoid or have baggage. dating should be fun.
go see a therapist and come back to her when you are whole

Therapy is a thread I really want to make a thread on. I've been doing it for close to 9 months now

 

[MikelArteta]

What past situations?

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

Therapy is a thread I really want to make a thread on. I've been doing it for close to 9 months now

did you ask them about this?

 

[Morethan1]

did you ask them about this?

Bro, I have bigger fish to fry this is not on the docket.

I can have that conversation privately if you want

No homo