I'm infatuated with this new woman I'm seeing. Past situations makes me want to put up a guard,but that wouldn't be fair to her.

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

Bro, I have bigger fish to fry this is not on the docket.
I can have that conversation privately if you want
No homo

no homo taken as i am not a man. but also, no it's ok i don't need to know details and most importantly i dont know shyt.
but i'm pretty sure this and whatever you are seeing the doc for is related somehow. that's how trauma goes

 

[Matt504]

Bro, I have bigger fish to fry this is not on the docket.

I can have that conversation privately if you want

No homo

(poster above beat me to it)

It might help to bring it up in a session because whatever those bigger fish are, it's likely that it's impacting your decision making as it relates to dating in ways that might not be readily apparent to you.

 

[YoungSimpson]

If this is ideally what you look for in a woman ,

It’s ok to not feel like a sucka.

I passed up opportunity after opportunity, just for feeling like a sucka about a situation that was actually meant for me

Exactly! That cupcaking/infatuation phase is the most fun part. Be happy you found a chick you feel comfortable cupcaking with. Alot of these miserable nikkas out here wishing they was hugged up rubbing noses with a smart, good looking, good cooking ass woman.

 

[RageKage]

You gotta make her a mix tape and let her know how you feel fr

 

[Morose Polymath]

She got any kids?? How you meet her??

 

[YoungSimpson]

She got any kids?? How you meet her??

My money says she has at least 1. I think buddy is mid 30s. If she's in that age range and attractive she probably does. If not she's either super religious, super career oriented, or a former super flip. He didn't say no kids and I feel like that's something people lead with nowadays.

 

[DreadBrown]

If you like her like that go for it my bro nothing ventured nothing gained

Worse case scenario your feelings get a lil hurt you take the L but we tough you fall back then bounce back

 

[Freedman]

She an untrustworthy disloyal meat eater like the rest of them hoes , you're right to have your guard up!

 

[Morethan1]

She got any kids?? How you meet her??

nikka I'm damn near 40 of course she has kid's. That's not a issue whatsoever

 

[PortCityProphet]

She cool,educated, cook, good looking and all around solid. I know I'm in the infatuated stage and with any relationships are work

Yet I've seen myself instantly throw up my guard in situations.

Is this normal?

How do I not be this way in these limited situations?

Or is it human nature?

Get therapy bro. Im Not saying that to try to clown you but im speaking from personal experience.
I always do that shyt too and I talked about it with my therapist at the time when I was in a relationship. He gave me some tips and they helped. Can't speak specifically for you and what you need to do tho.
But
To put it simply you gotta make yourself vulnerable. It kinda sucks feeling like that but in the long run it helps. Gotta be OK to be hurt.

 

[Morethan1]

If you like her like that go for it my bro nothing ventured nothing gained

Worse case scenario your feelings get a lil hurt you take the L but we tough you fall back then bounce back

I actually talked to her about it last night and she said she doesn't want to be hurt either and that's not her intent. She said like just continue to learn/grow together and see where it leads.

 

[Morethan1]

Get therapy bro. Im Not saying that to try to clown you but im speaking from personal experience.
I always do that shyt too and I talked about it with my therapist at the time when I was in a relationship. He gave me some tips and they helped. Can't speak specifically for you and what you need to do tho.
But
To put it simply you gotta make yourself vulnerable. It kinda sucks feeling like that but in the long run it helps. Gotta be OK to be hurt.

I'm I'm therapy port

 

[F*ckthemkids]

Don't make someone else bleed because someone else cut you. Unless she's throwing signs or obvious red flags, just go with the flow. Take things at your pace, and allow her the freedom to be human. To express emotion. To be vulnerable. To make mistakes. A lot of times people who've been hurt become hyper-sensitive to shyt...It may not even be that big of a deal, but you end up cutting people off because you don't even want to deal with anything less than above board behavior. Sometimes you have to say fukk it and allow yourself to be happy, but with that comes the vulnerability of being hurt.

 

[Double Burger With Cheese]

If a woman not infatuated with me I gotta drop her off at the hospital. Cause it’s something wrong with her.

I don’t have no advice. I just had to state that fact

 

[Remote]

She cool,educated, cook, good looking and all around solid. I know I'm in the infatuated stage and with any relationships are work

Yet I've seen myself instantly throw up my guard in situations.

Is this normal?

How do I not be this way in these limited situations?

Or is it human nature?

Spoiler