I'm 32 and lived at home my whole life

[Trip]

lets be honest though brehs....women are more likely to get help from their parents getting that first or second apartment than a man is...

Too many girls I knew in my 20's working bullshyt "marketing" jobs or whatever living on the UES by themselves....it is different.

 

[KyokushinKarateMan]

That's a great anecdote, which I would agree with in most cases. But this discussion is not about someone doing too much....its about someone doing too little.

Peace

And that is the very thing you should question: doing "too little" to achieve what? "Success"?
And by who's standards?

We know the answers to those questions.
And for many of us, we realize the fact that what is currently defined in this society as "what a 'man' should be doing if he's a 'real man'" is neither wholly true nor even make much sense to apply to how one spends one's life, especially for a Black man.

You have your idea of what a "man" should and shouldn't be doing, should or shouldn't have, etc.; but what we are trying to show you is that those very ideals are not necessarily correct, were given to you, and in a lot of cases are absolutely dysfunctional. (especially for Black/ethnic men).

We'll just agree to disagree for now. Keep an open mind, brotha.

Osu

 

[Rayzah]

Yall are all missing the point...
Living at home for a few years after college or high school is fine, stack some money get a good career not job, buy a car, thats all well and good. BUT IT DOES NOT TAKE UNTIL 32 to fukking save some money up, this nikka isnt trying to get a better job he is taking advantage of his parents... because just like he was able to stack that money then get a car he could have applied some of that to getting a place, and if yall noticed he hasnt responded in some time now, this nikka is either in a movie he has yet to walk out on yet or laughing at you nikkas cosigning his bullshyt... But for arguments sake, it shouldnt take until 32 to have atleast tried to live on your own at least once

 

[Doomsday]

This is one of the most entertaining threads I've ever encountered.

I know 30 year old dudes living at home cause they're bums,.

That's because they are. No MAN who's that old is not going to want to have his own situation, especially if he can afford to. Drives a lexus? LOL! Dukes a faq, no disrespect. 100k saved up? Bullshyt.

There's no better p*ssy than independent p*ssy. I've been out early. Not a dorm or roommates either. Every man knows that women usually travel in packs, I would get at them dolo, and my spot would be the perfect table setter to cop all three of em. Just yesterday no lie:

"Which one of our numbers do you want?"

"Yaw all come to the spot I'll smoke yaw all out..."

"Aight.."

Because I'm one of the only dukes with his own (solo) situation, it's like kick-back status all the time. Even my homies that are room-mated up, they don't have it like that. Girls you just coo wit will come over on gp and bring friends. No lie, I have extra room, so I could turn it into a pimp situation if I wanted to, but my money straight so no need. I swear on everything that's how threesomes jump off in real life though lol.

If a girls feeling me, I already know I'm good, because once they hop in the whip and see I'm strong there, then see how I'm living-- check mate. I can't imagine how a man can justify piggy backing off his parents too long. I honestly can't see myself dealing with a female if I was slackin like that. I feel like a female would look at you like you a lame if she hopped in the Lexus (lol) and then you take her to ya moms house. Especially at 30+. Then again, I can only look at life through MY eyes. I can tell a lot of yaw came from sheltered family situations where you were too comfortable, so living on your own is too much of a "struggle" for someone like you. Personally, I live better then I did when I was with family.

But it is nice to know that these whites folks are as lazy as they claim blacks are.

 

[mcdivit85]

Let's take it down a notch, ease all the hostility. I didn't even disagree with your post, I just provided alternative ways of looking at the same issue,.

Your posts were deeply rooted in the stance that if a dude wasn't dropping some money on his own crib, he would be getting ousted by the ladies and disrespected by his fellow man and should have a self-esteem level close to "0". I agree, those situations are out there. All I did was elaborate on was the opposite side of the coin.

Even in this post I just quoted, you're bringing up how dudes look to women who have their own place, and I'm telling YOU that I'VE seen women who run dudes through the house every week and DON'T CARE if dude is a homebody or not. And they are not bum ass women either. I got my own spot and the women I've hit have let dudes with no crib of thier own hit too. So if I got a crib just for access I'd be a sucker, no? I'm not disagreeing with the fact that it may look wack to some women, I'm just saying it's women out there who don't give a damn, so why would someone go for broke trying to impress one half when they can go for the other half and BE HAPPY saving up some money?

Self-esteem? Okay cool. If that person bases their self esteem on a woman that has her own place giving them p*ssy, or some guys saying "Hey, im jealous" then he will feel better, but that argument is like a guy in a Nissan and a guy in a Benz.

You're the dude in the benz saying "How are you happy in that Nissan? Look at my benz. Look at how people look at my benz. Look at how my benz drives. Look at the woman in my benz. And the guy in the Nissan says "I'm happy with my Nissan, it pretty much does everything your benz does, I don't care if people look at my Nissan or not, and I like the woman in passenger seat just fine."

I can't cosign anybody being a bum, like I originally stated, but if the dude is working, saving his money, and helping out his family, and he's happy, as this board says "Let the man cook", he ain't hurtin' you. If anything, more p*ssy and respect for you right?

Most of the posts I've read of yours are mad level-headed, realistic, and logistic, so I don't get why you riled up about a parallel view to one of your positions. I ain't even disagreeing with you fam.

Breh, I'm not riled up at all. All I said was that dudes are fugasi for living at home in their 30s driving luxury whips. Dudes are getting riled up by me....not the other way around. I'm the one clowning this sh#t and laughing at how crazy dudes sound.

And I don't want to keep making this about women because that's not my intent. Out of all the posts I've made in this topic, dudes keep bringing up where I said you women with their own are going to clown dudes who are trying to date them who live with their moms. And when I say women with their own, I'm talking women with their head on straight. I'm not talking about bobblehead chicks....even bobblehead chicks with degrees.

I only brought up women because they're a part of a grown man's life. But beyond that, I keep saying that a dude should have his own place regardless. Why does that keep getting skipped over whenever tries to combat what I typed?

And I see your example, but I'm not the dude in the Benz. I'm the dude in the Nissan looking at a dude on the bus stop asking him why he's taking the bus when I know he has enough to get his own wheel.

Peace

 

[mcdivit85]

This is one of the most entertaining threads I've ever encountered.



That's because they are. No MAN who's that old is not going to want to have his own situation, especially if he can afford to. Drives a lexus? LOL! Dukes a faq, no disrespect. 100k saved up? Bullshyt.

There's no better p*ssy than independent p*ssy. I've been out early. Not a dorm or roommates either. Every man knows that women usually travel in packs, I would get at them dolo, and my spot would be the perfect table setter to cop all three of em. Just yesterday no lie:

"Which one of our numbers do you want?"

"Yaw all come to the spot I'll smoke yaw all out..."

"Aight.."

Because I'm one of the only dukes with his own (solo) situation, it's like kick-back status all the time. Even my homies that are room-mated up, they don't have it like that. Girls you just coo wit will come over on gp and bring friends. No lie, I have extra room, so I could turn it into a pimp situation if I wanted to, but my money straight so no need. I swear on everything that's how threesomes jump off in real life though lol.

If a girls feeling me, I already know I'm good, because once they hop in the whip and see I'm strong there, then see how I'm living-- check mate. I can't imagine how a man can justify piggy backing off his parents too long. I honestly can't see myself dealing with a female if I was slackin like that. I feel like a female would look at you like you a lame if she hopped in the Lexus (lol) and then you take her to ya moms house. Especially at 30+. Then again, I can only look at life through MY eyes. I can tell a lot of yaw came from sheltered family situations where you were too comfortable, so living on your own is too much of a "struggle" for someone like you. Personally, I live better then I did when I was with family.

But it is nice to know that these whites folks are as lazy as they claim blacks are.

Thank you, breh. Thank you.

If I was living at home with my mom, I wouldn't even be thinking about driving a luxury vehicle or smashing no chicks. I would be too worried about some stacks to move out asap.

Peace

 

[kermit da hustla]

in all honesty, this idea that you have to live on your own and move out of your parents' house is not an old tradition. living with your parents well into your 30s, and even 40s, is something that was commonplace for much of european and - by extension - american society in the 20th/19th/18th century. it's how property was passed down. the idea of renting your own place was foreign.

it's actually still pretty common in certain european countries (spain, italy, etc.) to live at home in your 30s/40s until you get married.

i'm not saying it's not great to have your own place, and i encourage it if you can afford it, but the concept of moving out on your own instead of directly inheriting your parents' home is new.

 

[daboywonder2002]

too many cats are afraid of the struggle. but sometimes that struggle is what makes you a man. im telling yall, the op isnt gonna appreciate his crib because he been spoled his whole life. compared to someone who been working hard paying rent daily. it comes a time where you gotta stop with the excuses and step up. oh i dont wanna get married until i have perfect credt. well, your credit may never be perfect. who says you cant work on it when you married. oh i dont wanna have kids yet till i have enough money. well you may never have enough money.

 

[KyokushinKarateMan]

Lol. That is your standard for you through. Every one has a different set of values. That's what you don't seem to understand.

That's exactly the point, and even moreso the fact that his particular set of values are predicated solely on the typical pre-packaged American dream 2.0 propaganda we're all fed from day one.
If that is what one is striving for then, yes, for a man to walk a different path towards that goal would seem "lesser than".

He should be aware, there are equally as many men that believe that he'll never be a real "man" as long as he continues to fall in step-by-step conformity with the path that has been shoved down our throats from day one.
Many men believe that as long as you are being paid by someone else(or in other words have a job/career), you are not a real man.
Many believe if you do not generate your own income, enough income to sustain yourself and family and help in your surrounding community, you are not a real man.
Many believe that as long as you're still feeding your family out of a grocery store vs. having your own land and food sources, you aren't close to being a real man.

Can you imagine how he would sound in a room full of these types of men, for instance, while talking down about a man who didn't follow "the plan"?
He would sound (soft, weak) to them and they'd scoff and laugh at the "do boy". Because everyone's standards are different, just as you have said.

Again I ask those who are still not understanding, if he bought a house next year when he turned 33, and married a woman and began a family, and that was exactly when and how he planned to do it, where did he go wrong? Especially when so few of us ever actually get to "plan" such major due to not being very much in control of our lives, and we tend to have to grasp these life changing moments when we can, vs. being able to grasp them when we want.
Would he be in a better position than say, you are right now, if those things all happened tomorrow?

People who question the OP's choices should just take a moment and reason.

 

[Kobes Two Jerseys]

Playa, let's stop before we even get started. I'm not going to go down to the "get married brehs" sh#t to argue a point about a man not having his own residence as a 32 year old dude. This isn't about what a woman does or doesn't do.....its about grown men co-signing other grown men living at home as a life choice.

So, you want to use examples of dudes getting divorced or cheated on as a means to debunk the importance of a grown man having his own place? Breh, I don't even know where to start with that level of bullsh#t, so I won't. Miss me with that sh#t.

And I'm not placing too much value on women. What I'm saying is that I would assume that every dude in this thread who's co-signing this line of thinking would be startled at how wack they look in the eyes of women who have their own. Any dude who thinks him living with his mommy and daddy is a good look is on another planet. Dudes want to make my argument to be p#ssy-based when its not. As I said, even if a dude was not looking for women, he should have his own space...especially if he's in his 30s.

And when did I say that a dude should be going broke trying to sustain himself or living beyond his means? Also, please point me directly to the statement I MADE where I stated or even insinuated that a man should go broke trying to impress a woman. I would like to read this since I can't ever remember typing it.

Peace

Lol. Your very next sentence after the underlined, contradicts the underlined. You're very confused about your own stance. "It's not about women". Then proceeds to write about how it looks to women.

 

[posterchild336]

too many cats are afraid of the struggle. but sometimes that struggle is what makes you a man. im telling yall, the op isnt gonna appreciate his crib because he been spoled his whole life. compared to someone who been working hard paying rent daily. it comes a time where you gotta stop with the excuses and step up. oh i dont wanna get married until i have perfect credt. well, your credit may never be perfect. who says you cant work on it when you married. oh i dont wanna have kids yet till i have enough money. well you may never have enough money.

same thing I said earlier

 

[Kobes Two Jerseys]

No, breh. I totally understand.....and that's why I'm clowning that sh#t......because I understand it.

I understand that there are dudes, like in this thread, who think its ok to live at home with their parents as grown up with a source of income that allows them to save thousands upon thousands of dollar while pushing a luxury vehicle. These dudes do not believe they should take a portion of that money and sustain themselves instead of living off their parents. And said dudes believe that this is justifiable and also commendable.

I understand, and I don't agree. That simple.

Peace

You still don't get it. You keep saying it's wrong as if everyone lives by the same code as you.

 

[mcdivit85]

Lol. Your very next sentence after the underlined, contradicts the underlined. You're very confused about your own stance. "It's not about women". Then proceeds to write about how it looks to women.

Ok breh.....now you sounding like a nut

Peace

 

[mcdivit85]

You still don't get it. You keep saying it's wrong as if everyone lives by the same code as you.

Breh, I do get it. I just think that's some clown sh#t.....and that those type of dudes are weirdos. That's all. I'm not even hating....I'm moreso laughing at how dudes can justify such an existence like that's how grown men should be.

If you're that type of dude, then do you.

Peace

 

[Kobes Two Jerseys]

And I'm not placing too much value on women. What I'm saying is that I would assume that every dude in this thread who's co-signing this line of thinking would be startled at how wack they look in the eyes of women who have their own.

Ok breh.....now you sounding like a nut

Peace

Thats your writing dude. And I sound like a nut? Pass the dutchie, please.