I'm 32 and lived at home my whole life

[Wacky D]

i moved back in after my aunt & cousin moved out(they werent there when i moved out....and i only "moved out" cuz i left the city. came back and they were there so i got my own spot closer to my gig). not that there isnt room for all of us, but i prefer a certain level of privacy. i NEVER had a privacy issue growing up.

so now its back to my basement which is decked out more than my apartment was(aside from kitchen & bathroom but who cares). and its cheaper living, more convenient travel for me personally, much more comfortable, im not living on top of a bunch of other people, got built-in babysitting, etc. soon as i saw the opportunity, i jumped at that chit.

most people that have something bad to say about those who stay home are either cornballs or they really wish that they could do the same instead of living check-to-check. like a friend of mine who always has some chit to say about something(hes half-cornball and always liked to front like some super-mature cat. we got too much history tho). dude shacked up with his broad for rent money & done already borrowed money from me like 3 times since i moved back.......and HERES THE BEST PART........he never actually moved out his dam self. he didnt start living on his own until he had nowhere to stay. yet he always hatin on niccas with nice stuff that stayed at home. i understand his frustration cuz hes always been a real hard-work type and an extremely good person(aside from his snarky mindset) but he always catches Ls. it doesnt seem fair, especially in comparison to a cut-them-corners guy like myself so i feel guilty at times. but im sure he'll get a big W in the end. he still a hater tho.

 

[Won Won]

You must be mentally retarded. Having a nice car is only about 100-200 dollars more a month.

They got 14 year leases now?

You wanna look cool instead of being smart.

Like getting a 2014 Lex while having a dead-end job and living with your mom?

 

[OG Talk]

The fact that OP has over 50 daps makes me ashamed to post on this forum...I always wondered who the folks were that kept traffic moving on here on Friday and Saturday nights..



Does moms still cut the crust off of your PB&J sandwiches?

 

[FreddyCalhoun]

God bless the child that got his own........

























Set of rich parents

 

[mcdivit85]

Everything doesn't operate in such a black and white Eurocentric accordance, as your defining of Black "manhood" seems to entail.
His situation may not be a matter of him "having" to live with his parents. It could be his plan, his way of achieving a goal that you nor I know nothing about, and it would be wise of you not to gauge another man's path.

Think about it this way, what do you have to say to the brother who does this same thing at that same age, and then next year when he's 33 he's ready to(and does) buy a home, marry his long time girlfriend, and start his family- which, thanks to his planning, are things that happen all on his terms, with everything he wanted in place, already in place?
It is naïve to think that he did it this way because doing it the western world "American dream" route was too "hard" for him, and that it therefore makes him less of a man because he..what, essentially planned better than most of us?

That said, for the brother who does follow that route(typical American dream route), as I and many of us have, and if it works out for him, then more power to him too.
But I know from a self sustaining standpoint(funny you eluded to that very thing) that doing it the way he did it was actually not a bad idea, and is generally done like that by literally everyone else around the rest of the entire planet. Are the rest of the world's population not "men", and only the American male who follows the American dream is?

Every man's path will be different, not always better or worse, just different.
His is possibly a good example.

As a final aside, there are limped out no good brothas who do this just on some 'baby boy' don't want to grow up type shyt. Too comfortable with their lack of financial responsibility to take the next step. But rarely do they also possess the discipline, consistency, and focus it takes to accumulate (and not spend) 39k. And so I caught the impression that this particular poster wasn't one of them.

Breh, I'm about as aware as any on the plight of black men in the world. I totally understand that as a fellow black man and want us all to win.

HOWEVER, this is NOT a black or white thing.....its a MAN thing. Its a "I drive a IS 250 but live at home with my mom" thing. Its a "I want to save money but still drive around in luxury" thing. This dude, and dudes like him, is not staying at home because of some anti-Eurocentric stand he's taking. He's staying at home because he doesn't want to spend some of that savings on making his own way in this world.

Now, I have NO problem with a person falling down and staying at home for a SHORT PERIOD OF TIME until they get back on their feet. I have no problem at all with that. But I will call out a person who CHOOSES to live with their parents under the guise of "saving money" when they drive a luxury vehicle, are gainfully employed to the point of savings thousands upon thousands of dollars and are in their 30s.

You can have a plan, and I'm not even trying to down anyone's plan. I'm only saying that being a gainfully employed dude who has the means to have his own stuff but deciding to live at home is some Baby Boy sh#t. And who wants to be Jody?

If that works for dudes, then fine. I'm just saying that I don't understand how that seems to be receiving so much props on this forum.

Peace

 

[Wacky D]

rent an uncomfortable apartment and hand your money back over to the "evil white man" brehs.

people that move out just because society tells them to are stupid.

and the people that have a problem with dudes not moving out and wasting their money are the 1st ones that cry foul when they get robbed.

yall want it to be only one way.

 

[Bboystyle]

No wonder bro.. That's far af from la lol that's like almost in phoenix of course you pay that.. Where do u commute to work?? That shyt like 1 of those Pokemon towns?? By route 23??

Breh u obviously dont know shyt about southern CA if u think Inido (coachella valley) is in the boonies. Its one of the richest areas in the county. Resort lifestyle....LOL@ u thinking southern Cali is limited only to LA

 

[No1]

The fact that OP has over 50 daps makes me ashamed to post on this forum...I always wondered who the folks were that kept traffic moving on here on Friday and Saturday nights..



Does moms still cut the crust off of your PB&J sandwiches?

Exactly fam. Like, I would understand if he was moving towards something but dude said DEAD END JOB and he has no intention of progressing. All types of bum ass nikkas in here to cosign something like that.

 

[daboywonder2002]

i dont understand this dude getting all these props. eventually you gotta grow up and pay your own way. if that means you have to live in an apartment, so be it. its yours. listen i get it. youre trying to save money. but come on man, your 32. if you dont have enough at that age, then come 40 years old. your gonna say the same thing. i got 60 k in my savings. still living at home. stop it. if you think getting an apartment is gonna interfere with you saving money for a house. then you need to change careers or find a way to make more money.

 

[posterchild336]

Breh, I'm about as aware as any on the plight of black men in the world. I totally understand that as a fellow black man and want us all to win.

HOWEVER, this is NOT a black or white thing.....its a MAN thing. Its a "I drive a IS 250 but live at home with my mom" thing. Its a "I want to save money but still drive around in luxury" thing. This dude, and dudes like him, is not staying at home because of some anti-Eurocentric stand he's taking. He's staying at home because he doesn't want to spend some of that savings on making his own way in this world.

Now, I have NO problem with a person falling down and staying at home for a SHORT PERIOD OF TIME until they get back on their feet. I have no problem at all with that. But I will call out a person who CHOOSES to live with their parents under the guise of "saving money" when they drive a luxury vehicle, are gainfully employed to the point of savings thousands upon thousands of dollars and are in their 30s.

You can have a plan, and I'm not even trying to down anyone's plan. I'm only saying that being a gainfully employed dude who has the means to have his own stuff but deciding to live at home is some Baby Boy sh#t. And who wants to be Jody?

If that works for dudes, then fine. I'm just saying that I don't understand how that seems to be receiving so much props on this forum.

Peace

agreed, you learn so much more and I feel you havent truly experience independence until you are on your own. You learn how to budget, etc etc and even if it gets hard you get through it..these types of things make a person an adult...It also pushes you to grow financially because you do not stay in this comfort zone that you normally could of not having to pay bills and do whatever you want. Its okay because a person cant be a kid forever, parents wont be there forever to back you up and babysit.

I guess the point of this is that there comes a time when people have to grow up and face fears. I see alot of people saying forget moving out I rather stash money etc etc what are they saving for? when they buy a house the savings will diminish quickly, but then again this is the coli where they give props for staying and parents house forever and leaching so I guess they plan on inheriting the house for free when moms and pops pass..

 

[awkwardblackgirl]

unless there's a hardship going on with my folks i couldn't fathom living my folks now long term....i turn 32 in less than 2 months and have been out of my folks house for 9.5 years....one of my biggest motivational factors to getting this money is the fact that i never wanted to live at home again..the 7 months i did between undergrad and grad school was enough... i hustled hard in my 20s to make sure i earned enough to survive and then eventually thrive.....i dont knock other ppl who do it...i understand every situation is different..in your 20s trying to find your way in the world after college or whatever..thats fine but if you're a man in your 30s there should be a goal or a specific endpoint to stop living at home...there should be no contentment in that situation if there is no hardship going...thats how i feel ....my parents both came to this country from nigeria in their early 20s for college and eventually build a life for themselves here in the US..they worked hard and built their wealth....who am I to do less than that?

I don't think you would be doing 'less than that' by taking advantage of the foundation your parents built...after all, they did it for you. In our culture, it's not really frowned upon for grown adults to live at home until they're married. I wouldn't really think less of a man living with his parents just as long as he's getting set in his career, is saving, and all that other stuff.

 

[Wacky D]

since when does staying home automatically equate to leaching? thats only if youre living rent-free.

whatever happened to just not wanting to live boxed-in a hot ass over-priced apartment, on top of a bunch of cats that you dont know, worrying about not playing the music too loud, etc etc etc.

f*ck outta here.

 

[patscorpio]

I don't think you would be doing 'less than that' by taking advantage of the foundation your parents built...after all, they did it for you. In our culture, it's not really frowned upon for grown adults to live at home until they're married. I wouldn't really think less of a man living with his parents just as long as he's getting set in his career, is saving, and all that other stuff.

you do have point but in my case my father was always on that independent thing for me and my brother....my father in particular was the first to put that bug in my ear talking about you need to have your own place, don't live with anybody long term, and you need to be established before settling down...with my sister though he wanted her to stay in the house until she was married lol

 

[HookersandIceCream]

since when does staying home automatically equate to leaching? thats only if youre living rent-free.

whatever happened to just not wanting to live boxed-in a hot ass over-priced apartment, on top of a bunch of cats that you dont know, worrying about not playing the music too loud, etc etc etc.

f*ck outta here.

But at 32 though and no desire to move out

 

[KyokushinKarateMan]

Breh, I'm about as aware as any on the plight of black men in the world. I totally understand that as a fellow black man and want us all to win.

HOWEVER, this is NOT a black or white thing.....its a MAN thing. Its a "I drive a IS 250 but live at home with my mom" thing. Its a "I want to save money but still drive around in luxury" thing. This dude, and dudes like him, is not staying at home because of some anti-Eurocentric stand he's taking. He's staying at home because he doesn't want to spend some of that savings on making his own way in this world.

Now, I have NO problem with a person falling down and staying at home for a SHORT PERIOD OF TIME until they get back on their feet. I have no problem at all with that. But I will call out a person who CHOOSES to live with their parents under the guise of "saving money" when they drive a luxury vehicle, are gainfully employed to the point of savings thousands upon thousands of dollars and are in their 30s.

You can have a plan, and I'm not even trying to down anyone's plan. I'm only saying that being a gainfully employed dude who has the means to have his own stuff but deciding to live at home is some Baby Boy sh#t. And who wants to be Jody?

If that works for dudes, then fine. I'm just saying that I don't understand how that seems to be receiving so much props on this forum.

Peace

I apologize that my initial reply was misinterpreted, as my alluding to the "Black male" side of this was in no way in reference to our "plight", but instead, was to draw a contrast between what "things" makes a Black man "a man" vs. what makes a white man "a man".
I was actually straying off topic a bit in going down that route, though it is relevant.

Just understand the ideals you uphold, your perspective on what makes a "man", were given to you(and everyone else). And it doesn't automatically mean it is right or even makes much sense.

I will leave you with this one last little interesting tale. It's much shorter than what it looks, and really drives home the broader perspective many of us are trying to hammer home. Again, it's not as long as it seems and I encourage you to read and reason:

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village. A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish
and asked how long it took to catch them.
"Not very long" they answered in unison.
"Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the tourist.
The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet
their needs and those of their families.
"But what do you do with the rest of your time?" asked the tourist.
"We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas
with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our
friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. We
have a full life," they answered.
The tourist interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!
You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the
extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger
boat."
"And after that?" they asked.
"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second
one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of
trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate
directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant.
You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City , Los Angeles ,
or even New York City ! From there you can direct your huge new
enterprise," explained the tourist.
"How long would that take?" they asked.
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the tourist.
"And after that?" they asked.
"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting,"
answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you
can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen.
"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the
coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a
siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your
friends."
"With all due respect Sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So
what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the fishermen.