I Wanna Deprive My Father of A Relationship With His Grandson

[RickyDiBiase]

Now see....it's different if my dad was a man of actual character
a man that you would look up to and be proud to call your father
a man who guides you, inspires and pushes you
slaps you upside the head if you need to
but not my father

as I mentioned, my birth father has never deprived me not a single meal
nor has he not installed basic values
but that's where it ended.
there was no sense of love
there was nothing that made be proud of a man
who went above and beyond to cut my nuts off
at every turn he could

Now that he his a grandfather to my son
I'm conflicted as to how far the relationship they have should be taken
because let me be clear, unlike when my sister was pregnant, he jumped for joy
when I finally had my son he just went..."Ok".

Now maybe I'm being petty, but I feel like, how can you feel
you deserve to hold and be close to your first grandson
when you didn't even seem to care when the news was brought to your attention

BUT

Maybe this could soften and ease the tension since he's
"afraid of me" now
and on some passive aggressive shyt whenever I come by to chop it up with ma dukes.
IDK.

 

[Afro]

Now see....it's different if my dad was a man of actual character
a man that you would look up to and be proud to call your father
a man who guides you, inspires and pushes you
slaps you upside the head if you need to
but not my father

as I mentioned, my birth father has never deprived me not a single meal
nor has he not installed basic values
but that's where it ended.
there was no sense of love
there was nothing that made be proud of a man
who went above and beyond to cut my nuts off
at every turn he could

Now that he his a grandfather to my son
I'm conflicted as to how far the relationship they have should be taken
because let me be clear, unlike when my sister was pregnant, he jumped for joy
when I finally had my son he just went..."Ok".

Now maybe I'm being petty, but I feel like, how can you feel
you deserve to hold and be close to your first grandson
when you didn't even seem to care when the news was brought to your attention

BUT

Maybe this could soften and ease the tension since he's
"afraid of me" now
and on some passive aggressive shyt whenever I come by to chop it up with ma dukes.
IDK.

Sometimes the grandparent knows they "fukked up" with you so they will treat the granchild 100% different (usually better) than you.

I wouldn't deprive 100% out the gate, but I would make sure I'm in the room the majority of the time.

They may end up having a great relationship, that you would get in the way of.

Just be ready for your emotions because you see them having a better relationship than you had.

I told my dad I want kids and he was excited imaging himself taking my kid to Martial Arts classes and stuff. Things of course he never did with me.

 

[tuckgod]

He kept the lights on and your belly full

Only reason you should block that man from his grandchildren is if he abused you

 

[DreadBrown]

Change the thread title to “I wanna deprive my son of a relationship with his grandfather”

Read it out loud

Then delete this shyt

 

[Uachet]

He kept the lights on and your belly full

Only reason you should block that man from his grandchildren is if he abused you

That is the ultimate question I would ask. Did your father abuse you? You may not liked the way you were raised, but you do not have to worry about that with your child, because it is your job to raise the child. It is the job of the grandparents to give advise and spoil the grandchild. So if your father is not abusive, then I think you may be letting a bit of your anger to hinder you from seeing the possible benefits your child may receive from doting grandparents.

Still, in the end the decision is ultimately yours (collectively you and the mother that is).

 

[F*ckthemkids]

Imagine being so jealous of the relationship your son has with your father, that you'd deprive both of them, just to fulfill some selfish lifelong gripe.

 

[Rekkapryde]

I told my dad I want kids and he was excited imaging himself taking my kid to Martial Arts classes and stuff. Things of course he never did with me.

Amazing how much parents can soften up when it comes to their grandkids vs their relationship with you. But people do change and get a better perspective when they get on that other side of life. I'd just be an a$$hole on some passive aggresive shyt and remind him of all the love and shyt he's showing the grandkids vs you.

"damn dad, what happened to taking me to karate "


Probably gonna get the

 

[analog]

Be selfish and let them have a relationship for your sake.

Your Son seeing and having a positive relationship with his grandfather will benefit you when you're old and your kid's all grown up. You'll reap the benefit of demonstrating that family looks out for each other down the road...

 

[Still Benefited]

Imagine being so jealous of the relationship your son has with your father, that you'd deprive both of them, just to fulfill some selfish lifelong gripe.

You dont have the right to tell another man what his boundaries are. Didnt you just tell me this 10 minutes ago? But I digress

 

[Jazzy B.]

Dear diary ass nikka

 

[Still Benefited]

OP you need to find out why your father doesnt like you? Surely you have done this much? Maybe theres something he sees in you,like you see something in him. And instead of communicating it,hes doing passive aggressive things, Instead of being direct about it. Similar to how you passively aggressively make coli threads about him. Keep that same energy with him you keep with us coli posters

 

[Software]

OP is Hank Hill

 

[BunchePark]

you tripping hard bruh

let it go you're a man now

 

[F*ckthemkids]

You dont have the right to tell another man what his boundaries are. Didnt you just tell me this 10 minutes ago? But I digress

OP doesn't have boundaries. If he did he wouldn't be flooding this board full of strangers with threads about how much he hates his father, and what he can do to hurt him.

boundaries require decorum, The fact you can't tell the difference isn't shocking at all...

 

[get these nets]

OP
Since you put it out there, you have to work through the pettiness and vindictiveness. You control the amount of access your son and father have with each other.
He needs to know who and where he comes from, and both of your parents are part of those roots.

"Depriving" him sounds like you think you 're "getting back" at your father. You're not, and the notion of doing that is an emotional response that shows the level of hurt you carry around. He's your Father, so you naturally still seek his validation. And you seemed to be even more upset that he had a different response to your sister's news vs yours.

You're not going to be able to resolve issues with your father, so just limit the amount of time your bring your child around him. But he needs to know who his people are.