I told my childs mother that we not having no baby shower, why she mad as sh*t now?

[Brandon M.]

i wouldnt have got her pregnant if i couldnt afford fukking pampers for my kid...yall going way overboard

 

[Turbulent]

Your posts imply that her opinion ultimately doesn't matter unless she can convince him. If she doesn't convince him then she just wasted a bunch of words and time which is ultimately silencing her and turning her into his doormat.

She doesn't like it so her options are to stay in a relationship silenced and unhappy or leave. I got your point clearly. If her opinion doesn't matter then she has no voice. She is silenced in the relationship. Do YOU get that?



Also, you keep reiterating she can leave and that it was one of the only options you respected/agreed with. That implies that you think that is a good option for a disagreement over a baby shower. You respect someone leaving over a baby shower argument.

but if she does convince him then her opinion does matter which means she is not silenced.

i said the only options i respect (didn't say agree) is stay or leave.

your option is for her to do it despite him clearly stating he's against it (basically to confront him and challenge his authority). How exactly is that a good option? Even if she gets her way, THEN WHAT?? Where does the relationship go after that? she just successfully PUNKED her boyfriend. what's the next step in your plan to make it a successful relationship? how exactly is that a good option and what path does it put you on going forward??

the only other options left are to either keep persevering in trying to get him to see the light and yes, RISK "wasting words on him", if that fails then you can either stay or leave. I respect both because it's ultimately her choice. never said i agree with her leaving over a baby shower but i still respect it.

You keep twisting my words by the way.

 

[CrimsonTider]

yes, ultimately we agree. I'm not saying guys can't make bad decisions. You should always listen to what your partner has to say. Listen to her concerns, maybe there's something she sees that you don't. maybe she has certain aptitudes that you don't. But it should always be your decision in the end and your responsibility as well. I borderline agree with y'all that his reasoning is not wise in this case (and yes he may regret it later). But he has to realize it and change his mind for himself. not be strong-armed into it. not be disrespected. cause i think he'd regret that even more.

Not listening to her voice is disrespectful to her and you should respect her. But submitting to her will because of subtle or overt threats of her leaving is EVEN MORE disrespectful to yourself.

shut up

 

[SouthernBelle]

but if she does convince him then her opinion does matter which means she is not silenced.

i said the only options i respect (didn't say agree) is stay or leave.

your option is for her to do it despite him clearly stating he's against it (basically to confront him and challenge his authority). How exactly is that a good option? Even if she gets her way, THEN WHAT?? Where does the relationship go after that? she just successfully PUNKED her boyfriend. what's the next step in your plan to make it a successful relationship? how exactly is that a good option and what path does it put you on going forward??

the only other options left are to either keep perceveeing in trying to get him to see the light and yes, RISK "wasting words on him", if that fails then you can either stay or leave. I respect both because it's ultimately her choice. never said i agree with her leaving over a baby shower but i still respect it.

You keep twisting my words by the way.

I'm not twisting anything. We all see how you feel about relationships. The fact that you would respect that again says a lot about you. I guess you can respect him leaving and finding a woman that will be his doormat (since her opinions don't matter unless he agrees).

Again. They are boyfriend and girlfriend. She can do it because he has NO authority over a woman that is not his wife. Again, we disagree on the way boyfriend/girlfriend relationships work. A boyfriend does NOT get to dictate my every move. A boyfriend does not get to make those decisions. If he wants that opportunity he can put a ring on it.

If the events happens and he doesn't like then they can talk about like adults and see where they both went wrong so that in the future they can come to agreements like adults and not like father and daughter. Disagreements happen (it's a part of life). It would only spell the doom of the relationship if the relationship involves two VERY IMMATURE people.

AGIAN, a girlfriend doesn't have to bend to her BOYFRIEND's every whim. If she is passionate about the issue then she should put her foot down. She is not his WIFE. She didn't take any vows to obey him. Again, YOU DON'T GET THE RIGHTS AND PRIVILEGES WITHOUT THE RESPONSIBILITY.

 

[Turbulent]

I'm not twisting anything. We all see how you feel about relationships. The fact that you would respect that again says a lot about you. I guess you can respect him leaving and finding a woman that will be his doormat (since her opinions don't matter unless he agrees).

Again. They are boyfriend and girlfriend. She can do it because he has NO authority over a woman that is not his wife. Again, we disagree on the way boyfriend/girlfriend relationships work. A boyfriend does NOT get to dictate my every move. A boyfriend does not get to make those decisions. If he wants that opportunity he can put a ring on it.

If the events happens and he doesn't like then they can talk about like adults and see where they both went wrong so that in the future they can come to agreements like adults and not like father and daughter. Disagreements happen (it's a part of life). It would only spell the doom of the relationship if the relationship involves two VERY IMMATURE people.

AGIAN, a girlfriend doesn't have to bend to her BOYFRIEND's every whim. If she is passionate about the issue then she should put her foot down. She is not his WIFE. She didn't take any vows to obey him. Again, YOU DON'T GET THE RIGHTS AND PRIVILEGES WITHOUT THE RESPONSIBILITY.

i respect freedom. I don't think leaving over a babyshower is the best decision in the world. but i respect her freedom. And i don't know if he wants a doormat. but if he did, and she didn't want to be one, then shouldn't he leave her to find a woman willing to be one? Just like she should leave him to find a man who has the same type of values as her.

I never said he should dictate. At the end of the day, she can ALWAYS do what she wants. If she wants to do the babyshower despite him not wanting her to do it, she is free to do so. All i said is that i don't respect that option and it's her worst option IMO (for reasons i already stated). But she's still free to do it. again, in my original post i clearly stated he should always make it clear that it's her decision and she can do what she wants.

matter of fact here's my exact quote

If she isn't your girl, just let her do what she wants with no argument and just don't attend. If she is your girl, stand your ground if that's what you truly believe BUT i'd still advise to let it be her decision. she just has to understand that if she goes against your will you will not be happy. and if you're not happy because of her, you have no reason to want to make her happy in the future but it's still her decision in the end.

where do i say he should dictate?

 

[SouthernBelle]

i respect freedom. I don't think leaving over a babyshower is the best decision in the world. but i respect her freedom. And i don't know if he wants a doormat. but if he did, and she didn't want to be one, then shouldn't he leave her to find a woman willing to be one? Just like she should leave him to find a man who has the same type of values as her.

I never said he should dictate. At the end of the day, she can ALWAYS do what she wants. If she wants to do the babyshower despite him not wanting her to do it, she is free to do so. All i said is that i don't respect that option and it's her worst option IMO (for reasons i already stated). But she's still free to do it. again, in my original post i clearly stated he should always make it clear that it's her decision and she can do what she wants.

matter of fact here's my exact quote


where do i say he should dictate?

First of all, you have been stating your opinion about this situation AND your opinion about the way relationships should work in general; therefore, I have been addressing both.

In your post where you've said that a woman can voice her opinion but that everything in the relationship the man's decision whether she is happy or not/whether it is smart or not IS dictating. That's a father/daughter relationship. Also, I said the bolded in my post. Thank God he said that he and his girlfriend have a relationship where they make decisions together and that this was just a misunderstanding. That is how adults do things.

 

[TELL ME YA CHEESIN FAM?]

thread shoulda ended when nikka said he is from Newark

 

[thaKEAF]

Sent from my iPhone 5 using Tapatalk

 

[VICVALLIN]

listen yall , I just wanna have a big party for the baby shower. have drinks and food and cake and celebrate the life thats coming. i dont want no one to bring any gifts, I just want people to come and enjoy themselves. Everything is already bought , like stuff for the baby . I dont need any gifts. this is what we're beefing over smh

nikka you stupid. Did you buy enough diapers, formula, wipes, onesies, q-tips, etc to last 3 years? Do you have any fukkin clue how fast a baby grows? All those clothes you bought when he was fresh out the womb, that lil nikka will not be wearing in 3 weeks If not, you don't have all that shyt and you're not having a baby shower so other people can buy it for you, you're a fukkin idiot.

 

[Houston911]

i keep referring to her as my child's mother and u refer to her as a babymama? ive never used the term babymama in my fukking life. shes isnt black or brown , shes a pale ass dominican republican with a great job.

did you just refer to her as a dominican republican?

 

[Brandon M.]

nikka you stupid. Did you buy enough diapers, formula, wipes, onesies, q-tips, etc to last 3 years? Do you have any fukkin clue how fast a baby grows? All those clothes you bought when he was fresh out the womb, that lil nikka will not be wearing in 3 weeks If not, you don't have all that shyt and you're not having a baby shower so other people can buy it for you, you're a fukkin idiot.

i have a child already, breathe and relax young sir.

 

[Brandon M.]

did you just refer to her as a dominican republican?

ur point?

 

[R=G]

Youre creating unnecessary drama..take it easy. If it's that irritating, just don't show up.

 

[Roaden Polynice]

I mean, if you have all the shyt already for a baby, at least have the baby shower and attempt to sell the doubles of things you get

 

[VICVALLIN]

i have a child already, breathe and relax young sir.

nikka, you have a kid already, so you know how out of control the cost for disposable items can be, and you're still fightin about NOT wanting free shyt?! I'm really at a loss for words, b.