Well she’s 3 months now but I’m still new to the game. For the fathers here what have you done to start setting your kids up for success? Also if you had to do anything differently what would it be? Thank you in advance for all the advice
Do something little. Like set up an acct for your child and allocate $50 a paycheck then literally forget you have the acct set up. By the time the child is 17, they'll have a nice chunk to start off with in the world. And they don't have to spend it all at once. They could buy a car, or something but honestly id let that accrue then use that as a down payment toward a house. And it don't have to be a 300,000 3bdrm 2 bath with garage. Maybe something under 200k. A 1bdrm or 2 bdrm. Just something for them. Because once they grow out of it then they can rent it out and have that income while they work or do whatever.
And no matter what, dont lose the house!!!!
Other than that, unconditional love. Even when your angry. Even when they are bad. "I love you but you're being bad". "I love you but you need to go see your mama" "I love you but get away from me" "you're lucky I love you
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Try to be the man you want to be or you want them to think you are. Don't cuss around them, don't act a fool. Show them the appropriate way to respond to anger, sadness, happiness, etc.
Use other people as examples in real time "you see that person over there? This is why you/that's why I tell you to.."
Quiz them. They don't know you're quizzing them they just think you're talking to them "are you supposed to yell in the store?" "That's right!" "What do you do if...."
Model behavior. If you want your kid to play on their tablets and stare at screens and play videogames, then go ahead and play with your phone and tablets and on the games, they'll do it! If you want them to read books or draw when they get bored then read books or draw. Id you want them to be physically active then be physically active.
Normalize the behavior.
Instead of taking them to the park so they can play. "do you want to go to the park? I have to go for a run/jog, do pushups etc?" Of course they'll want to go to the park and of course you will play with them but in addition to playing with their parent/s they'll think, ok this is what people do..they go play, they are active.
If you gotta fix the sink ask them to help you by holding a tool. If you gotta cook ask them to help let them throw the seasoning in or stir or something.
They grow like weeds. You blink and they'll be grown. Everyday is a new experience for them and for you, so make the best of it. Everyday won't be sunshine and roses but you get a new start every single day. If they have a bad day today, tomorrow when you and them wake up, pretend it never happened. Maybe keep the lesson and quiz them if you have to but don't still be mad, you shouldn't need to punish them for days. If you fukk up then you will feel you have to in which case you got the cart before the horse.
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