You aren't going to start magically picking the correct partners. I assume you have a history of picking abusive/chaotic partners and I have a feeling your mother did the same with your father or previous boyfriends. I assume your life has been chaotic/unstable or you wouldn't pick messed up partners. You have to get some therapy or you will continue to choose bad partners. If you're attracted to someone, I would be very cautious into getting in a relationship with that person as you are attracted to chaos and abusive people. I know this sounds dumb but try to go out with someone you normally wouldn't go out with and try to explore that. Although you will probably just bring the abuse/chaos yourself if your partner is a "nice" guy and isn't into physical/verbal abuse or chaotic relationships. You will cheat on him and sabotage the relationship (most likely) without therapy.
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