I don't know if i was right in telling my gf this but we got in an argument and..

[JudgeJoeForilla]

I like how you was real HOH in the OP and now you telling her you ready to cheat in a lullaby.

Threatening?

Hoh?

I'm sorry but I have to reply to you at this point because it seems like you're just seeing this situation how you want to see it and not how it is. First off, he wasn't being hard on her if anything it sounds like he was being lenient. OP Let it be known that he couldn't be in a serious relationship with someone who was over weight and that he'd need her to lose weight. Fast forward she ends up gaining more weight and he is still with her. How is that being hard on her? If he was hard on her he would have just moved on after she completely showed him that she took him clarify his expectations in the beginning of the relationship for a joke, which is another thing... At no point did he "threaten" this chick. He simply let her know that her weight was an issue to HIM and that he'd end up dumping her or cheating. That's not a threat that's just him telling the mother fukking truth the shyt happens all the time in relationships where one lacks what another partner desires. And guess what, it's not a black thing it's not a white thing PEOPLE of all races cheat for the reason op is talking. Is it ok? No but at least op had the brains to let his woman know BEFORE they got serious and is letting her know now, even though she has made no progress as shed originally agreed. You may not like what he's doing but he's in no shape or form wrong he didn't lead this girl on he didn't cheat on this girl he made it known that he couldn't be with an overweight/out of shape person... That's it...

 

[Zero]

Man you better break that paragraph up

 

[Afro]

Look man, as you can see people can't handle the truth. I don't agree with how you handled it but I also know the feeling of being nagged to death.

Everyone has made excellent points.

You told her from the jump what you expected from her and she hasn't delivered.

You assumed she would take it upon herself to do as you asked by herself. It doesn't work like that.

Telling her you'll cheat is like, dumb. Super dumb, I can tell you know she's very submissive to get away with that.

If she wanted to be skinny by herself, she would be. She has two kids and was single, all that takes a toll.

I don't care if shes a woman from China, she is a woman who is in America.

She meets the wrong type of friends and it's over. Hive mind is bytch.

You need to be the leader/man that you swear you are and guide her.

If your too lazy to drive out to take her to the gym, why should she take herself out to the gym by herself with two kids to take care of?

Can't treat a woman like a man. You want results, you gotta hold her hand until being healthy is a habit.

 

[C-Styles]

i'm really starting to think @BlackPearl has some personal issues and is seeing this the way guys have done her in the past. The way she's writing in this thread is the feel of a scorned woman and hates anything that a man suggest. It's all good though, we here to talk when you're ready.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Threatening?

Hoh?

I'm sorry but I have to reply to you at this point because it seems like you're just seeing this situation how you want to see it and not how it is. First off, he wasn't being hard on her if anything it sounds like he was being lenient. OP Let it be known that he couldn't be in a serious relationship with someone who was over weight and that he'd need her to lose weight. Fast forward she ends up gaining more weight and he is still with her. How is that being hard on her? If he was hard on her he would have just moved on after she completely showed him that she took him clarify his expectations in the beginning of the relationship for a joke, which is another thing... At no point did he "threaten" this chick. He simply let her know that her weight was an issue to HIM and that he'd end up dumping her or cheating. That's not a threat that's just him telling the mother fukking truth the shyt happens all the time in relationships where one lacks what another partner desires. And guess what, it's not a black thing it's not a white thing PEOPLE of all races cheat for the reason op is talking. Is it ok? No but at least op had the brains to let his woman know BEFORE they got serious and is letting her know now, even though she has made no progress as shed originally agreed. You may not like what he's doing but he's in no shape or form wrong he didn't lead this girl on he didn't cheat on this girl he made it known that he couldn't be with an overweight/out of shape person... That's it...

Calm yourself. I was talking about his presentation of the story. First he was swearing and all now he claims he was being pleasant and calm.

As far as the Black/ White thing. Tell a Black women you about to cheat on her cause she looks the same day she did on day one and see what happens.

What you need to realize is PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE. It's really cute ya'll wanna keep it real but that's not how it works. Funny enough I was in a situation like this. I had an ex that was a tad overweight and said he would lose it and never did. It was one of the reasons we broke up. But I never threatened to cheat or tried to be hurtful about it. He knew how I felt. What I came to realize is losing weight/diets is about your lifestyle which is major. It is VERY hard to change when the motivation doesn't generate from within...shyt even when it does. You are asking a lot from a person. It's not something that just happens.

So you both can try to be as harsh on women as much you want to about this subject but it's pointless. There are small compromise and large ones. You need to learn which is which. This is a large one that rarely changes. When headed into a relationship the large areas should already be covered. You should be compromising on where you going for the holidays not obesity. It's a losing battle. Choose better.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Look man, as you can see people can't handle the truth. I don't agree with how you handled it but I also know the feeling of being nagged to death.

Everyone has made excellent points.

You told her from the jump what you expected from her and she hasn't delivered.

You assumed she would take it upon herself to do as you asked by herself. It doesn't work like that.

Telling her you'll cheat is like, dumb. Super dumb, I can tell you know she's very submissive to get away with that.

If she wanted to be skinny by herself, she would be. She has two kids and was single, all that takes a toll.

I don't care if shes a woman from China, she is a woman who is in America.

She meets the wrong type of friends and it's over. Hive mind is bytch.

You need to be the leader/man that you swear you are and guide her.

If your too lazy to drive out to take her to the gym, why should she take herself out to the gym by herself with two kids to take care of?

Can't treat a woman like a man. You want results, you gotta hold her hand until being healthy is a habit.

Truth

 

[Ronnie Lott]

I like how you was real HOH in the OP and now you telling her you ready to cheat in a lullaby.

Would you be wrong to tell your man that he needs to lose weight?

Would you be wrong to tell your man that he needs to get a job?

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

i'm really starting to think @BlackPearl has some personal issues and is seeing this the way guys have done her in the past. The way she's writing in this thread is the feel of a scorned woman and hates anything that a man suggest. It's all good though, we here to talk when you're ready.

I guess ya girls on the only one who hates truth

 

[Ronnie Lott]

Calm yourself. I was talking about his presentation of the story. First he was swearing and all now he claims he was being pleasant and calm.

As far as the Black/ White thing. Tell a Black women you about to cheat on her cause she looks the same day she did on day one and see what happens.

What you need to realize is PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE. It's really cute ya'll wanna keep it real but that's not how it works. Funny enough I was in a situation like this. I had an ex that was a tad overweight and said he would lose it and never did. It was one of the reasons we broke up. But I never threatened to cheat or tried to be hurtful about it. He knew how I felt. What I came to realize is losing weight/diets is about your lifestyle which is major. It is VERY hard to change when the motivation doesn't generate from within...shyt even when it does. You are asking a lot from a person. It's not something that just happens.

So you both can try to be as harsh on women as much you want to about this subject but it's pointless. There are small compromise and large ones. You need to learn which is which. This is a large one that rarely changes. When headed into a relationship the large areas should already be covered. You should be compromising on where you going for the holidays not obesity. It's a losing battle. Choose better.

You lost all credibility

 

[Ronnie Lott]

Look man, as you can see people can't handle the truth. I don't agree with how you handled it but I also know the feeling of being nagged to death.

Everyone has made excellent points.

You told her from the jump what you expected from her and she hasn't delivered.

You assumed she would take it upon herself to do as you asked by herself. It doesn't work like that.

Telling her you'll cheat is like, dumb. Super dumb, I can tell you know she's very submissive to get away with that.

If she wanted to be skinny by herself, she would be. She has two kids and was single, all that takes a toll.

I don't care if shes a woman from China, she is a woman who is in America.

She meets the wrong type of friends and it's over. Hive mind is bytch.

You need to be the leader/man that you swear you are and guide her.

If your too lazy to drive out to take her to the gym, why should she take herself out to the gym by herself with two kids to take care of?

Can't treat a woman like a man. You want results, you gotta hold her hand until being healthy is a habit.

What type of stupid ass logic is this

 

[BlackManLiveFromLondon]

She's like, "i'm going to go to the gym right now and work out, i'm also going to get a trainer, i don't want to lose you, please"
.

You better keep her in check before she goes and buys a professional side dikk

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Would you be wrong to tell your man that he needs to lose weight?

Would you be wrong to tell your man that he needs to get a job?

Nope. But, I can't expect him to be employed if she's always been unemployed and I can't expect him to be skinny when he's always been fat. Like I said in the last post. All the basics/major requirements should be covered when entering to a relationship. Entering a relationship with someone who doesn't have the same lifestyle standards is foolish.

It may sound harsh but it's the truth. You can't verbally beat someone into submission and expect it to end well for you. You have to accept the person walking into the door period.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

You lost all credibility

How? Maybe I should have been like OP and said he wasn't good enough and told him I would cheat on him. He didn't want to change, I accepted that and I let him go. That's how it should go, not sitting around trying to hurt him b/c of what I believe he should be.

 

[Ronnie Lott]

Nope. But, I can't expect him to be employed if she's always been unemployed and I can't expect him to be skinny when he's always been fat. Like I said in the last post. All the basics/major requirements should be covered when entering to a relationship. Entering a relationship with someone who doesn't have the same lifestyle standards is foolish.

It may sound harsh but it's the truth. You can't verbally beat someone into submission and expect it to end well for you. You have to accept the person walking into the door period.

Wrong because you just said in previous posts that you dumped a nikka for gettin fat.

Some people once living together and being together for long periods of time develop bad habits that need to be checked.

All that'"accept me for me" bullshyt is a poor excuse for laziness

 

[Ronnie Lott]

How? Maybe I should have been like OP and said he wasn't good enough and told him I would cheat on him. He didn't want to change, I accepted that and I let him go. That's how it should go, not sitting around trying to hurt him b/c of what I believe he should be.

Ok maybe the threat of sayin he's gonna cheat was foul. I'll give you that, but him gettin on her case about weight isn't a bad thing