I Don't Enjoy Being Married

[Hathaway]

It's a light rain fall tonight. I'm at this dark park alone just walking ; contemplating. Getting fresh air. My mother in law has the kids. I finally get a moment alone. Peace.

I've made alot of mistakes in my life. Marriage ranks chief among them. It's a weird situation to be in. I am madly in love with her. I would give my life for her. I want to see her happy among all things. I strive for that. I've been married since I was 27. It'll be 6 years this year.

I stick it out for my kids. They deserve a complete home. A father and mother. Structure, guidance and discipline. Happiness. I want that for them. But the more I watch these years pass by, the more I realize I value my freedom over everything. I suppress those thoughts.

I was a different man when I married. I was a minister. I followed the god of the Bible and it's doctrines. I married and started a family, excited in raising a family in the gospel. "He who findeths a wife finds a good thing". "Children are a gift from the Lord". However, a fierce and chaotic whirlwind freed me from those chains. But now, I am left with the remnants of a man no longer here: a family. A wife & 2 children.

Any man would give up his half to have such precious things. A woman who loves you. Boys who adore you. I gave up my life for the gospel. I left it behind but cannot restore those lost years. 10 years. So much time wasted. So many dreams unconquered. So much land undiscovered. Nothing to show for it all. I continually give up my life for the prosperity of my family.

I can never abandon them liked my father did me. So I sit here. I stay and wallow in unhappiness. I embody it. I cry when I'm alone. I'm crying right now. I feel stuck. My pride as a man won't allow me to refuse my responsibilities. My longing for peace of mind and freedom will ultimately eat away at my mind until I am nothing but a hollow shell of a man who once was.

 

[Trav]

Send her to one of those Mary Kay sex parties that women throw to sell toys or whatever. She'll be suckin it right in no time.

 

[humminbird]

let it all out

 

[King_Kamala61]

Your first mistake was following a religion that has caused nothing but turmoil to black people. There are psychological studies that talk about religion and how it harms black people's brains. 2nd you need to geaux to marriage counseling and actually communicate with your wife about your problems. After you seek therapy if you feel that marriage is still causing you problem then you should end it and still be an active father. But know this...divorce is very harmful to children no matter what they say. I wish you the best.

 

[Peruvian Connect]

Is she still fertile? Ill take her off ya hands. I'll raise ya sons to be better men than you too.

 

[Hathaway]

Your first mistake was following a religion that has caused nothing but turmoil to black people. There are psychological studies that talk about religion and how it harms black people's brains. 2nd you need to geaux to marriage counseling and actually communicate with your wife about your problems. After you seek therapy if you feel that marriage is still causing you problem then you should end it and still be an active father. But know this...divorce is very harmful to children no matter what they say. I wish you the best.

My wife knows these things. Not in much detail but she knows. To protect the health of my home, I cannot express these things in great detail for it will ruin her mentally. We both can't be miserable. I am much better at handling my emotions then she is so I choose peace in my home over peace in my mind.

 

[JamesJabdi]

You will be more powerful and happy once you realize you got the power to change your own life.

That regret and despair you feeling is something every breh goes through with or without kids and wife....its up to you to decide if you want to continue living a life of misery or chase your dreams.....don't use your wife and kids as excuse because you weren't chasing your dreams for 27 years before that.

 

[King_Kamala61]

My wife knows these things. Not in much detail but she knows. To protect the health of my home, I cannot express these things in great detail for it will ruin her mentally. We both can't be miserable. I am much better at handling my emotions then she is so I choose peace in my home over peace in my mind.

You need to seek therapy and again..let that Bible talk geaux. That's 1st...2nd therapy...3rd if no resolution..then you end it. But still be active in your kids lives. Everyday...every night...every weekend.

 

[Sterling Archer]

If only there was some way to become unmarried…

 

[The Realist Perspective]

You need to seek therapy and again..let that Bible talk geaux. That's 1st...2nd therapy...3rd if no resolution..then you end it. But still be active in your kids lives. Everyday...every night...every weekend.

What is the true religion then? I’ve been searching and I’ve come to find out Jesus wasn’t the messiah then I found out exodus is filled with mad contradictions. Both old and New Testament not thorough.

 

[TEH]

You need a spiritual counselor. A lot of Coli posters are atheists, degenerates or both. You’re not going to get sound advice on here. Plus half of these goons are cacs who would like to see you fail. Get it together. Marriage is never easy no one ever said that it was.

Seek to become better friends with your wife. It’s easy to stay once you get past how she looks and the initial lust for her and really like her personality quirks and all. Plus those kids need you. It’s not going to be easy single. It’s not going to be easy if you remarry. God has blessed you with a wife and kids. Don’t you see people on here crying everyday because they don’t have the same thing. You need to get deeper into God at this point and not run away. It’s hilarious that people scoff at getting your souls right when it’s the number one way to then get your mind right.

 

[Balla]

Your first mistake was following a religion that has caused nothing but turmoil to black people. There are psychological studies that talk about religion and how it harms black people's brains. 2nd you need to geaux to marriage counseling and actually communicate with your wife about your problems. After you seek therapy if you feel that marriage is still causing you problem then you should end it and still be an active father. But know this...divorce is very harmful to children no matter what they say. I wish you the best.

How does it harm Black peoples brains?

 

[King_Kamala61]

What is the true religion then? I’ve been searching and I’ve come to find out Jesus wasn’t the messiah then I found out exodus is filled with mad contradictions. Both old and New Testament not thorough.

Reality. Listen. Nothing came from nothing...if you wanna consider whatever that created the cosmos and galaxies a god then cool. But that creator does not have an personality and does not judge. If you look closely at God in scripture he is literally a govt entity. That doesn't exist, except only with humanity. Thus the govt is God.

Again research how religion has caused psychological damage to the psyche of black folks. It's been studied enough. I wish all black folks get off of the imaginary bullshyt and focus on reality....you see how much religion has destroyed black women psychologically. That's all these single mothers talk about. You know why???? Because they are mentally ill. I can explain it further if need be. Also every black American has a jesus freak in their family and it's always an elder black woman...you know why???? I can explain later. Thus they push this imaginary bullshyt on to the children and it psychologically damages us. Poison The well..destroy the town.

 

[King_Kamala61]

How does it harm Black peoples brains?

Google the Black Codes of Louisiana and once you read that then we can discuss it in detail.

 

[Scustin Bieburr]

What is the true religion then? I’ve been searching and I’ve come to find out Jesus wasn’t the messiah then I found out exodus is filled with mad contradictions. Both old and New Testament not thorough.

The thing about faith is...everyone thinks their religion is the 'true' religion. The only religion that I can think of that doesn't do that is Buddhism and that's really just more of a spiritual philosophy.

The meaning of life is something you decide for yourself. Your moral compass can be developed based off your life experience, study and advice that has actually helped you.