I Can't Catch A Break... I'll be a grandfather at 33

[Rawtid]

Why would I be working until I'm 90? I have two kids and one is an adult. Do they have a home to bring the baby home to? Yes, she does actually. A car? Yes, I purchased her a new one a couple of years ago. I post on a message board just like you... So what?

I make decent money, I have a townhouse that I rent out, a permanent residence in a great community, and her tuition is taken care of? Again, considering it all, I'm good.

The fukk is wrong with some of you?

Get your "pop-pop" on and make sure the baby has the best support yall can muster. Start looking for childcare providers ASAP. Save money every time shes gets paid...5-10%. It will add up after 9 months.

While I certainly don't advocate having children young or "alone", once it's done, it's done and no need to make a difficult situation more complicated with judgement. My friend had a baby at an older age (damn near 40)...alone and her mother told her "I'm not helping, you're going to have to struggle like your sister and I did". I was so sad for her.

 

[iBrowse]

I haven’t read beyond the first reply but I’m just going to assume that this thread isn’t going well .

 

[SheWantTheD]

Black people all over live different lives; good or bad. Berating people for shyt they can’t do shyt about is a waste. It’s very admirable YOUR parents were hands on, some weren’t, if around at all. It’s what it is.

You are assuming things. What about my comment states my parents were hands on?

I'm telling OP to take accountability and responsibility for his actions. He's a grown man. He came on here to vent. Children need to stay in a children's place. At 19-years old having a child was the last thing on my mind. I wasn't sexually active at 19 but if I was I would damn sure make sure I didn't end up a father at such a young age. I knew having a child at 19 would not fly with my parents, why don't you ask OP how all of this unraveled? He clearly isn't giving the whole story.

His daughter thinking it's fine to have a baby at 19 when she's still a baby and her life barely started falls on him and her mother. Can't argue that.

 

[SheWantTheD]

Congratulations OP! operate as a family and all will thrive. Everything won’t happen perfectly, but doesn’t mean you can’t rise to the occasion. Good luck and enjoy the new baby!

No one is saying OP and his daughter is screwed and for them to go to hell.

But he needs to take responsibility for his daughter being pregnant at 19. If his daughter didn't have a support system such as her father it would be all the more difficult to raise a child. I've seen too many young black women raising children on their own, and how can one work if there's no one to watch the baby? Ain't shyt easy about it. OP is 33 and his daughter is 19, meaning he had a child at 14 years old.. a freshman in high school that doesn't know shyt about the world no matter how much they think they do.

So his daughter having a child at 19 is just the cycle repeating itself.

 

[Rawtid]

You are assuming things. What about my comment states my parents were hands on?

I'm telling OP to take accountability and responsibility for his actions. He's a grown man. He came on here to vent. Children need to stay in a children's place. At 19-years old having a child was the last thing on my mind. I wasn't sexually active at 19 but if I was I would damn sure make sure I didn't end up a father at such a young age. I knew having a child at 19 would not fly with my parents, why don't you ask OP how all of this unraveled? He clearly isn't giving the whole story.

His daughter thinking it's fine to have a baby at 19 when she's still a baby and her life barely started falls on him and her mother. Can't argue that.

My response was generally for those trying to shyt on a situation that's already done, wasn't speaking specifically about you, but I understand I didn't make that clear in my post.

OP's back story doesn't matter because what's done is done. And again, just because YOU at 19 were one way, doesn't mean others were. You appear be so disgusted, but the OP nor his daughter are required to feel the same way and in fact, wouldn't benefit them or the baby at all. They all need to move forward.

 

[Voice of Reason]

Damn I couldn’t imagine having a kid in my teens or 20s

 

[Voice of Reason]

A lot of teen parents in here catching feelings

 

[Apollo Creed]

Get your "pop-pop" on and make sure the baby has the best support yall can muster. Start looking for childcare providers ASAP. Save money every time shes gets paid...5-10%. It will add up after 9 months.

While I certainly don't advocate having children young or "alone", once it's done, it's done and no need to make a difficult situation more complicated with judgement. My friend had a baby at an older age (damn near 40)...alone and her mother told her "I'm not helping, you're going to have to struggle like your sister and I did". I was so sad for her.

How your friend make it that far in life experience and just ups and decides to get pregnant solo

 

[Rawtid]

No one is saying OP and his daughter is screwed and for them to go to hell.

But he needs to take responsibility for his daughter being pregnant at 19. If his daughter didn't have a support system such as her father it would be all the more difficult to raise a child. I've seen too many young black women raising children on their own, and how can one work if there's no one to watch the baby? Ain't shyt easy about it. OP is 33 and his daughter is 19, meaning he had a child at 14 years old.. a freshman in high school that doesn't know shyt about the world no matter how much they think they do.

So his daughter having a child at 19 is just the cycle repeating itself.

His entire lineage was insulted. Called the whole family losers. Then yall keep speaking on him having a child at 14 like it wasn't 19 years ago AND comparing his daughter's situation to his. Also, while I think she is a young mother, an engaged/pregnant 19 year old is not quite the same cycle as being 14 and having a baby. OP probably more worried about being a young grandfather, but when you have a child at 14, you cant control that.

 

[GzUp]

Having a kid at a young age isn’t the end of the world, the youngest person I know had a kid in 7th grade. He’s doing better then me right now!! He has a huge house and has his own business.

 

[Rawtid]

How your friend make it that far in life experience and just ups and decides to get pregnant solo

When I said alone, I meant the man became disinterested after finding out she was pregnant and at nearly 40 she didn't want to abort and possibly miss out on having children altogether.

 

[Apollo Creed]

When I said alone, I meant the man became disinterested after finding out she was pregnant and at nearly 40 she didn't want to abort and possibly miss out on having children altogether.

So she knew what she was doing.

carry on

 

[MoveForward]

Why don't you ask OP how all of this unraveled? He clearly isn't giving the whole story.

His daughter thinking it's fine to have a baby at 19 when she's still a baby and her life barely started falls on him and her mother. Can't argue that.

She's an adult, she had sex, and got pregnant. I have provided nothing but a positive upbring. Things happen but alot of you guys are calling my parenthood into question without any understanding, just assumptions. This isn't some I grew up in poverty story. I have been preaching to her about not having kids early like I did since she was old enough to understand. Me and my family have invested 10's of thousands into her education since she was 5, she didn't need to take out any loans to go to college, she was into sports throughout school, and I was a hands on father.

She thought about aborting but that would've made me even more upset. She's four months in and this is happening. Me and his parents are meeting for lunch at two to discuss how we MoveForward.

This is The Coli, I forgot you guys are perfect.

 

[SheWantTheD]

My response was generally for those trying to shyt on a situation that's already done, wasn't speaking specifically about you, but I understand I didn't make that clear in my post.

OP's back story doesn't matter because what's done is done. And again, just because YOU at 19 were one way, doesn't mean others were. You appear be so disgusted, but the OP nor his daughter are required to feel the same way and in fact, wouldn't benefit them or the baby at all. They all need to move forward.

His backstory DOES matter so they can break the cycle of having children at an early age! Where was his parents when he was having sex at 12 and getting a girl pregnant at 13?! Why didn't they instill the importance of sex and how you can create a life from the act of sex to him?

Stop trying to act like having a child doesn't put a damper on one's life. She's only 19, she probably hasn't seen much of the world outside of her own city! When you have children they come first before everything.

You gonna sit here and tell me his daughter isn't going to feel like she's missing out by not being able to live in a college dorm, go to clubs, parties, see the world? She can still do all those things but she that baby still comes first!

How harder will school be with a child? Y'all need to stop this nonsense.

 

[Guile]

pregnant at 19 ain't crazy crazy.

Why was you fukking at 13 though? And how old was the mother of your daughter?