How do black women want black men to approach them?

[CoryMack]

Before y'all sharpen the pitchforks, hear me out

I'm getting ready to move from Miami to Alabama for college. Since I am an obedient child of God and therefore adhere to biblical scripture, I am waiting to engage in sexual intercourse until I meet that special girl for me and we achieve marriage union in the name of God & the state. Since I'm going to college, this might be the LAST time I'm around THOUSANDS of ambitious, level-headed, beautiful black women, therefore I want to start my search for a wife NOW.

The problem is, these days there's a WHOLE lot of backlash against black men for the things we are perceived to do & not do. I read a lot of comments and honestly I'm mad confused about black women's stance towards me as a young black man. I ignore you, yet I simultaneously harass you? I abuse & assault you, yet I abandon & am apathetic towards you? On the site that shan't be named, there is a level of VENOM spewed towards black men that has me paranoid wondering if the black women I come across in my day to day activities really loathe my existence like this.

So can someone give me advice or an answer? I have black female friends and family that I love and cherish, and I speak to strangers on the street with respect. I'm not here to hurt black women, I'm here to provide love and respect & find the one God chooses for me so I can give her passionate love, affection, and intimacy & we can build a life together and have us some beautiful black babies.

If you’re getting ready to go to college I’d wouldn’t worry. HBCU? Just find a group that’s about what you’re into and you’ll find your lane easy.

But you’re right about this really being the last time you’re gonna be in close proximity with a buncha young fine childless women. Looking back on that now it’s almost kinda hard to believe.

 

[RoyalQ]

My bad, just saw you tagged me. I'll write a post later in the night.

Eta: take the situation into consideration. Some men just approach at the wrong time. some times its not even you or your approach style but the timing that will have me saying no. Other than that just approach me like a gentleman, shake my hand, give me your name, tell me a little about yourself and be honest about why you stopped me. Dont be cheesy or cringey. Contrary to coli belief we women who are stable and have our shyt together actually do like gentlemanly approaches. Have small talk, work on your jokes because making a woman genuinely laugh warms us up to you. After a good bit of time when you feel she is relaxed ask for her number. I hate when men ask for my number like 2 minutes after meeting me. Im a naturally shy and guarded person and you are a perfect stranger. I need to be warmed up a bit before giving my number cause idk if your a creep who will blow up my phone calling and texting.
Be graceful about any rejections. We all have types and you simply may not be her type. Walk away with your head up.

 

[Memorial Stadium Piru]

I understand that singleness is a gift, bit at the same time shouldn't we be proactive in our search for a mate that follows Christ?

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

My bad, just saw you tagged me. I'll write a post later in the night.

Eta: take the situation into consideration. Some men just approach at the wrong time. some times its not even you or your approach style but the timing that will have me saying no. Other than that just approach me like a gentleman, shake my hand, give me your name, tell me a little about yourself and be honest about why you stopped me. Dont be cheesy or cringey. Contrary to coli belief we women who are stable and have our shyt together actually do like gentlemanly approaches. Have small talk, work on your jokes because making a woman genuinely laugh warms us up to you. After a good bit of time when you feel she is relaxed ask for her number. I hate when men ask for my number like 2 minutes after meeting me. Im a naturally shy and guarded person and you are a perfect stranger. I need to be warmed up a bit before giving my number cause idk if your a creep who will blow up my phone calling and texting.
Be graceful about any rejections. We all have types and you simply may not be her type. Walk away with your head up.

All that gets thrown to the bushes if Trey songz steps to you

 

[Memorial Stadium Piru]

@#1 pick What are your thoughts on this thread, since you believe that BW collectively don't give AF about black men

 

[LurkMoar]

smh yall too mean for OP


Breh focus on your degree and your career first, theres local church groups and christian organizations on every campus if its holy women your looking for you can find em there

 

[LurkMoar]

All that gets thrown to the bushes if Trey songz steps to you

goes both ways tho, if beyonce gives you the time of day you dropping everything

 

[TeenTitansGo]

Christian men are still supposed to pursue women that we are attracted to and whose morals/ideals match with our own

Pursue Her: A Message to Christian Men | Christian Men and Dating #4 | pursueGOD.org

Awww you sound so sweet and so adorable! Honesty I'm in the situation. Just focus on your studies and try to workout/lift and you should be okay. Also take good care of your appearance.

Like make sure your facial hair and hairline is on point and ur skin is clear n clean.

 

[monsterpreneur]

Not sure to be honest. I’m pretty receptive to anyone that approaches as long as he’s not disrespectful. So look clean and don’t say anything corny.

 

[Memorial Stadium Piru]

Awww you sound so sweet and so adorable! Honesty I'm in the situation. Just focus on your studies and try to workout/lift and you should be okay. Also take good care of your appearance.

Like make sure your facial hair and hairline is on point and ur skin is clear n clean.

Physically wise, that's fine & dandy. But I mean like social wise. In a certain situation, like at the mall/bookstore/whatever, what nuances/behaviors/actions do you look for in a black man when he talks to you that doesn't come off overaggressive/creepy and make you interested in him & give him your number?

I ask because when approaching a woman, I have clear intentions, i.e. ask for her number in hopes of getting a date & seeing if we'd be compatible for marriage. But black men have been painted as the face of street harassment & immorality, much to my (and a host of others) chagrin, when all I want to do is provide romance.

 

[Neuromancer]

Man I want to be approached by a chick. just to see where their "game" is at.

 

[TeenTitansGo]

Physically wise, that's fine & dandy. But I mean like social wise. In a certain situation, like at the mall/bookstore/whatever, what nuances/behaviors/actions do you look for in a black man when he talks to you that doesn't come off overaggressive/creepy and make you interested in him & give him your number?

I ask because when approaching a woman, I have clear intentions, i.e. ask for her number in hopes of getting a date & seeing if we'd be compatible for marriage. But black men have been painted as the face of street harassment & immorality, much to my (and a host of others) chagrin, when all I want to do is provide romance.

I would suggest to just try get to know them first. I'd feel more comfortable with a guy asking me out if we were already cool or knew each other some what.

Don't go in to this looking for a wife or even serious gf. Just see who you click with and spend time around them first.

Joining a club or church on campus.

 

[ZEupTWN]

From everything you posted your confidence is simply not there yet to be approaching women....like its already been said your in college fam you have a huge base of like wise people to connect/network with that will eventually lead you to the p*ssy, its easier to pull them when the sense of approval of being in the same social circle or knowing the same people is there....There are to many technicalities and frustrations when dealing with women you approach at this point especially women in there 20's can be difficult and don't know wtf they want ...Mastering the approach will come with experience, but you def should do it though just to try it out...Having self awareness is key and depending on the setting try to keep the interactions cordial as possible at least until the commitment is there,...At the end of the day there is no exact science to this shyt but to just be yourself, its literally a numbers game you just have to trust your instincts and hope for the best...