Connotation and context is key. Apply the I can talk about my family but you can't talk about my family type thing. Same reason a white person can't say nikka. Same reason a Mexican can joke about being "wet back" or their can be a tv show called FOB (fresh off the boat) but if a non-Asian said it it could be offensive. We all have groups that we belong to where jokes and negative things said with love are ok in-house. At the same time some people who are in the group still find it offensive. It's not hard.
you missing the point.
the use of the word nappy, which many black people despise and find insulting, is being justified on the basis of "i can make this word harmless just like nikka, don't be ashamed"
there's many black men and women who dont wanna be called nappy headed and dont wanna raise kids telling them their hair is nappy.
my question is why can't this same thinking be used to justify using words like bytches, hoes, etc. words that many people use harmlessly but many are still offended by.
how is it that we decide which words have lost their meaning and can be turned into neutral words?