What do you mean? I don't think it's disrespectful to ask for the same type of evidence that convinced Moses or Lot. Again, I disagree with you that I'm "not searching". There's a difference between seeing god in everything and saying everything is proof of god, and trying to objectively find the true god. It's like that sword in the field video. It's not enough to say "look at the trees, look at the clouds. God did that, so believe". I don't (and tbh no one) knows that a god did any of it, much less the Christian god specifically. So if I'm going to believe in the Abrahamic god, then I'm going to need to see some type of evidence ... some type of objective confirmation. You've been very vague on exactly what you think I SHOULD be doing, and instead you've just criticized what you think I've only done. Fact of the matter is for the overwhelmingly majority of my life I was a believer in God, and did all the things people claim to do to establish a relationship with him. It wasn't until I questioned why I thought these things were true that I was able to leave the church. So why is it so much to ask God to reveal himself when he has done so for others, and would take practically no effort for him to do? To me it seems like I'm doing all the effort, begging at the top of my lungs, when all it would take is a mere whisper from him to convince me. And then you accuse me of being lazy or selfish. I don't understand that train of thought.