I only cook for a bytch by accident now. I let her cook her lil wack ass country ass bullshyt, n soon as she think she got the juice I swag surf on her dumb ass. bytch cookin runny ass scrambled eggs with hard ass bacon n microwaved sausage patties with lumpy ass grits. She act like she too tired to hook a nikka up, I go in there n pull the arsenal from the crisper.
nikka got strawberry potato bread french toast with sliced strawberries n blueberries with powdered sugar n homemade brown sugar n butter sizzurp. 2 motherfukking cocksucking breakfast burritos filled with fajita steak strips n salsa infused egg whites with a shytload of melted shredded taco cheese on the top n skeeted on the inside.
The goddamn homefries that's really stubby ass steak fries with minced garlic and frozen season blend aka diced onions n bell peppers fried with em in a pan with oil, the fries cooked almost all the way first then toss in the vegetables so I don't burn them shyts. Then the sliced canteloupe n the screwdriver mimosa with frozen grapes instead of ice so I don't water down my shyt.
bytch, the best u get is a piece of french toast with some home fries n a glass of orange juice, cuz "I had some shyt left over, u can have it if u want it. It's in the microwave."