Does death change you as a person?
- Thread starter Morethan1
- Start date
Yapdatfool
Superstar
Keep living and you will.
Death of my loved ones so far has changed me immediately in every way.
I'm not 'over' them dying nor am I 'over' the treatment I received afterwards from other people too. But ain't fukk all I can do about it
Keep living and you will.
Death of my loved ones so far has changed me immediately in every way.
I'm not 'over' them dying nor am I 'over' the treatment I received afterwards from other people too. But ain't fukk all I can do about it
How did it change you?
It changed me. Made me upset at the fact that someone (my grandmother) can work their whole lives to provide for their family only to have ovarian cancer ravage them down to the bone. It's hard not to stay cynical.
But, the positive things she did while she was alive has had a profound effect on the quality of my life now.
MurderToCassette
Sa Da Tay
Absolutely...I've lost a handful of my people in the last few years. It makes you reevaluate a lot of shyt and you realize you literally have to enjoy EVERY day and keep people close. You don't know if you're going to see or speak with them again, tell them you love them. Try your best to be on good terms and at peace with folks cause when they're gone, they're gone.
Most importantly, keep pushing and keep their memories with you.
Most importantly, keep pushing and keep their memories with you.
Solomon Lurke
My Boys Dey Be Lurkin...
maybe it’s just the beginning
Seriously though, I think there has only been two deaths that have had any significant effect on me. Most of the time I just look at it as a part of life. The only two people I think about post their death are my great grandmother and a close homie of mine. My great grandmother probably more so because of how much time I spent with her growing up and she being one of the biggest hearted people I’ve ever known. For my homie I think it was the lack of closure. We literally had a convo out of no where the evening before. He was so happy and telling me how God was working things out in his favor. I had been supporting him on some endeavors then boom next day he was murdered on some hella random shxt. Constantly think about him and the skills I have acquired since and how it would have all benefited the things we were doing then. Im pretty nonchalant about most things in life so I’m sure the fact he comes into my memory so much has to be some level of trauma. My other homie was there when it happened and saw him after being shot so can only image what he goes through.
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Devilinurear
Veteran
Yes it changes you.
Get right with God
Yes it does.
Right? It wouldn’t be so bad if they said “well I’ll be back in 20yrs” or “you know I won’t be around so often from now on”
Nope, that’s it, it’s final. Never to be seen on this plane again
But you know what’s worse? A senseless death like a murder or drunk driver. I think that would fukk me up.
Of course. Why do you think there's so much fukking that happens in hospitals? I really amplifies the emotions and makes you think about and want to enjoy life so much more, even if it happens in small bursts; no pun intended.
Yapdatfool
Superstar
RickyDiBiase
The Sword of Jesus of Nazareth
My grandfather dying changed everything
Yes.
Back in 2012 I was 18 going on 19 and hadn't had much experience with death of loved ones. I had distant relatives that passed but it didn't affect me like that. However that year from January to September, I lost my best friend in a DUI accident, grandfather died of melanoma a couple months after, then on the day of his funeral, had a family friend die on a canoe trip, then in September my mom passed from a heart attack in her sleep. She was at a wedding reception the night before and died at her boyfriend's house. I spoke with her hours on the phone before she passed away and woke up to a coroner knocking on my door who asked if I was her son then just flat out told me she died last night.
At that point my life had been so flipped upside down, I couldn't even process the emotional aspect of losing my mom, but I just knew immediately that my life was forever changed and there's no turning back. It's like in a dream where everything you're doing doesn't even seem real but there you are experiencing it. I honestly never even cried about it until 4-5 days later at the funeral when we loaded the casket into the Hearst and I just broke down in front of everybody. Afterwards after seeing family and friends I just remember I had to take a nap because I was so emotionally overwhelmed that it physically exhausted me.
A lot of family/friends commended me for how I handled it, but now that its been over a decade and I spent my adult life without all these people who heavily influenced my childhood, you start to see the scars and effects it has on your psyche.
I realized I have some form of abandonment issues not in the sense that I feel "lesser" or not wanted, but moreso the underlying feeling that anything I form a strong emotional attachment too can get YANKED from my life at a moments notice. And while I'm generally very personable and extroverted, I think I subconsciously distance myself from people sometimes as a way to avoid that. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I stayed in a long term relationship for far too long because there were pets and kids involved and after years of living together, breaking up felt like another nuclear life event. It was inevitable and eventually just said enough is enough and pulled the trigger but I definitely put up with more than I would have BECAUSE I did not want to feel such an epic loss again.
Also People talk about having "dark" humor but there's levels to this and a lot of yall aint ready
One time I was at a work thing and one of my coworkers was a women who lost her mom as well. We both have a sense of humor and were weirding everyone else out with our death jokes. She took a photo with her brother and mom's ashes in an urn and said "mom looking thinner than ever now!" 
shyt was hilarious to me but everyone else looking mad awkward. Or when people try to roast and bring up my mom not knowing she's dead, and I reply with "now what you look like talking about fukking a corpse you weirdo
" and they look like they've seen a ghost afterwards 
But if anything on a positive note it truly does make you realize how finite time is and how it's best not to leave anything unresolved with your loved ones because you really never know when will be the last time you see or speak with them again. No matter how you feel about it or want to avoid the conversation, the only absolute thing in life, is death
Back in 2012 I was 18 going on 19 and hadn't had much experience with death of loved ones. I had distant relatives that passed but it didn't affect me like that. However that year from January to September, I lost my best friend in a DUI accident, grandfather died of melanoma a couple months after, then on the day of his funeral, had a family friend die on a canoe trip, then in September my mom passed from a heart attack in her sleep. She was at a wedding reception the night before and died at her boyfriend's house. I spoke with her hours on the phone before she passed away and woke up to a coroner knocking on my door who asked if I was her son then just flat out told me she died last night.
At that point my life had been so flipped upside down, I couldn't even process the emotional aspect of losing my mom, but I just knew immediately that my life was forever changed and there's no turning back. It's like in a dream where everything you're doing doesn't even seem real but there you are experiencing it. I honestly never even cried about it until 4-5 days later at the funeral when we loaded the casket into the Hearst and I just broke down in front of everybody. Afterwards after seeing family and friends I just remember I had to take a nap because I was so emotionally overwhelmed that it physically exhausted me.
A lot of family/friends commended me for how I handled it, but now that its been over a decade and I spent my adult life without all these people who heavily influenced my childhood, you start to see the scars and effects it has on your psyche.
I realized I have some form of abandonment issues not in the sense that I feel "lesser" or not wanted, but moreso the underlying feeling that anything I form a strong emotional attachment too can get YANKED from my life at a moments notice. And while I'm generally very personable and extroverted, I think I subconsciously distance myself from people sometimes as a way to avoid that. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I stayed in a long term relationship for far too long because there were pets and kids involved and after years of living together, breaking up felt like another nuclear life event. It was inevitable and eventually just said enough is enough and pulled the trigger but I definitely put up with more than I would have BECAUSE I did not want to feel such an epic loss again.
Also People talk about having "dark" humor but there's levels to this and a lot of yall aint ready
One time I was at a work thing and one of my coworkers was a women who lost her mom as well. We both have a sense of humor and were weirding everyone else out with our death jokes. She took a photo with her brother and mom's ashes in an urn and said "mom looking thinner than ever now!" shyt was hilarious to me but everyone else looking mad awkward. Or when people try to roast and bring up my mom not knowing she's dead, and I reply with "now what you look like talking about fukking a corpse you weirdo" and they look like they've seen a ghost afterwards But if anything on a positive note it truly does make you realize how finite time is and how it's best not to leave anything unresolved with your loved ones because you really never know when will be the last time you see or speak with them again. No matter how you feel about it or want to avoid the conversation, the only absolute thing in life, is death