Discuss: issues with your parents

[Ugo Ogugwa]

No wonder you go easy on BW.

I find that most Brothers that have a dream like view on BW actually had a terrible relationship with their Mothers. It is some sort of sick inverse psychological reaction.

I hold most BW to an extremely high standard because my mother and grandmother remain star examples of how a BW should be and conduct themselves.

They raised me well and to be critical of any Woman. I find brothers that were abused and left alone by their mothers continue to perpetuate a condition where they are seeking Black Women's approval.

It is very similar to Black Women looking for the Daddy they never had. I am starting to understand why some of these Brothers refuse to date out, they are still looking for their Mother subconsciously and obviously their Mother is Black.

You need to get psych help to get you out of the rut so you can move forward with your life and find a Woman - and not a Mother to replace the one you never truly had.

We all seek partners similar to our parents in some respects. But in the Black community we really do seek out partners to be the parents we never had of the opposite gender.

so u date white women cause u had a good black mother



booooy if you dont....

 

[FeloniousMonk]

I wasnt aware single women could adopt

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

after reading the second sentence i just wanna say you should seek psychiatric help, i'm not even remotely kidding when i say this

EDIT: i realized how harsh that sounds, i dont mean this in a condescending way it looks like you're a good person you should just seek out more to help yourself. mental health will always be a reoccurring problem in the community

Did you read the last paragraph though? All they tryna do is shove pills down my throat. It's not helping and if I explain to them how much it's fukking with my head and the stuff I think of doing, they gonna put me in a strait-jacket and lock me up in a mental ward.

 

[Made Myself A Boss]

I wasnt aware single women could adopt

... I was so wrapped up in my own problems I kinda missed that.....


And two boys at that...

And she lived with her sister's


OP

 

[GrindtooFilthy]

Did you read the last paragraph though? All they tryna do is shove pills down my throat. It's not helping and if I explain to them how much it's fukking with my head and the stuff I think of doing, they gonna put me in a strait-jacket and lock me up in a mental ward.

damn at this point only thing i can tell you is that a kindred soul might help soothe you

 

[ReggieFlare]

heh i know i could be a better son but at the same time i don't want too, my parents never try to understand me and how i feel they think the have all the answers in the world. it's annoying when someone tells you something and they think their right but htey have no clue what is actually going on. i know there trying their best but i dont need them anymore, i've told my mom once that diploma comes in and i get that job im leaving the house

This is my current situation exactly, except I feel like my mom at least tries to understand me whereas my pops doesn't do shyt; I always have to engage my dad to talk unless it's about sports or politics. He also likes to hear himself talk...rarely will he ask me my thoughts or feelings about something.

One example: a couple years back I organized a birthday party for myself at a friends spot which my mom knew about since she asked me what I was doing for my birthday. My dad didn't find out I was doing the party until my mom told him, and this dude was legit mad that I didn't tell him, but he never once asked me if I was doing anything for my birthday(and I was gonna tell him anyway, he just found out before I had a chance to). Once he found out this dude had the nerve to say "If you get locked up, don't call me. You're on your own" in reference to a DUI I got a year prior. Nikka couldn't even say "enjoy your party" or "have fun"

It's really weird man...on one hand he'll say that I'm grown and he doesn't feel the need to engage with me, but whenever I got something going on and he's left out the loop he gets salty. Is it oochie wally or one mic

 

[GrindtooFilthy]

This is my current situation exactly, except I feel like my mom at least tries to understand me whereas my pops doesn't do shyt; I always have to engage my dad to talk unless it's about sports or politics. He also likes to hear himself talk...rarely will he ask me my thoughts or feelings about something.

One example: a couple years back I organized a birthday party for myself at a friends spot which my mom knew about since she asked me what I was doing for my birthday. My dad didn't find out I was doing the party until my mom told him, and this dude was legit mad that I didn't tell him, but he never once asked me if I was doing anything for my birthday(and I was gonna tell him anyway, he just found out before I had a chance to). Once he found out this dude had the nerve to say "If you get locked up, don't call me. You're on your own" in reference to a DUI I got a year prior. Nikka couldn't even say "enjoy your party" or "have fun"

It's really weird man...on one hand he'll say that I'm grown and he doesn't feel the need to engage with me, but whenever I got something going on and he's left out the loop he gets salty. Is it oochie wally or one mic

see the difference is that my dad wont ask and i usually won't tell, he'll just say dont fukk up and i go out and do my thing

my mom on the other hand? it's like playin jeopardy, always a million fukin questions

-what you doing
-where you at
-when you coming home
-who's with you
-blah bla bla

like let me live shyt

 

[DarkHorse23]

Father : Growing up was very strict and overprotective when it came to me. As a result I grew up very sheltered. Also because of his parenting and keeping me on a short leash I'm now in my 20's(26 now) I'm having to make up for time and develop and learn many things young men in their teens knew about life and especially women. Lastly he's someone whose always very critical of me, nothing I seem to do is every good enough, and my whole life he's compared me to everyone from himself to my younger sister to close friends of mine. My relationship with him and the way I've felt treated is the the foundation to why I have many of my internal problems today from being depressed, insecure, having body issues growing up, having some level of social anxiety and being uncomfortable around new people. There's so much I could say( but I don't feel like typing anymore). In a nutshell despite being in my life physically and providing for me financially and helping me academically, emotionally he was never there for me. In a nutshell I have a lot of anger and bitterness towards him, but unfortunately I just have to deal with it and bite my tongue and deal with his BS until I'm at a place that I can move out, and once I do I'm never speaking to him again. The next time he will see me is at his funeral( if I go). What I'm saying may sound harsh, and perhaps I'll be singing a different tune when he leaves this earth, but my bitterness about my past and my relationship with him will probably outweigh any sadness that I have for him being gone.
Mom : Growing up I was very close to my mother. I was a momma's boy in many ways. I love my mother. Being that growing up I never really had any real romantic relationships or success with girls, my relationship with my mother and late grandmother filled that void. However because of tough times in 2014 & 2015 where my family and I were struggling and living in a hotel, finances screwed up, my relationship with her changed. We started arguing more, and I saw a side of her I'd never seen in 24 years. Many times young men can put their mother on a pedestal and think she can do no wrong and then when you start to see do things and act in ways that's not right it definitely upsets and disappoints you. Now in 2016 were still as a family trying to reestablish and return to our old lives before 2014, and even though I still love my mother, I don't think things will ever be the same. 2014 was literally the worse year of my life and whatever family we had I doubt will ever be the same. It is what it is.

 

[SwagmundFreud]

My mom is dead and I don't know where my father is.

Life is great!

 

[Roid Jones]

Mom dukes ain't giving me shyt

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

damn at this point only thing i can tell you is that a kindred soul might help soothe you

Thanks for the suggestion

 

[Deutsche Bank]

fukking bozos.

 

[Rollo Goodlove]

I will never let them take my integrity that's all ...

 

[Reginald Noble]

so u date white women cause u had a good black mother



booooy if you dont....

Asian but yeah

 

[hotbeezie]

I need to call my parents and tell them I love them.