Discuss: issues with your parents

[Made Myself A Boss]

@Still Ill FC My mother is a piece of shyt... and because of her i have serious problems as an adult..

Ill never get married or have kids cause im simply cannot keep women longer then 3 months.. u know how they say never mess with a man who has mother issues? Well im.living proof that that statement is 100% factual...

Where to begin:

~the reason im even born is because my mom had an affair with a married man who had two kids of his own

~my mother moved me from Baltimore to a suburb in DC where i was forced to go to private school but she valued money more then she did a relationship with me and my sister...

She worked 3 jobs round the clock to afford this smal ass 3 bedroom 1 bathroom house in the suburbs and when she realized that shyt still couldn't cover her bills she married THE WORST STEP FATHER i could have ever had from South Carolina


My mother was illiterate growing up which i feel bad about but she in general doesn't have any sense about her and she genuinely doesn't understand how things work..

For instance she made me go to these private schools thinking that a school would make me smart student..... but nobody at home never took time to help me with any of my work or how me stuff (she was working 3 jobs) ..she literally thought the school would do everything because she paid money to tell

I used to have horrible grades in.school but you know why ??? Because i was illegally blind and i didnt get my first pair of glasses until about the 7th grade...

Can you imagine you own.mother doesnt even recognize that her son cant see shyt for 13 years.. but yet im supposed to be making straight a's simply bc i attend a private school..

Till this very day i remember putting on my first paor of glasses and thinking to myself "Dam this is how the world looks" i was literally in awe.

My mother never groomed me (i had like1 hair cut a year ) and used to get teased like crazy for it...she used to pick me up in the shytyest broke down car ever (everyone at this school had like an audi or better ) and she genuinely just didnt show me any kinda love growing up...

I could go on and on but bottom line is when i tell you this lady ruined my life i mean it with all my heart...

She sent me to a boarding school in.south Carolina for disobedient kids and before i went to this school.. i never had a fight.. never did a drug.. never drank.. partied.. i mean nothing at all,. I was just sick of her ass

She used to call me ugly.. tell me im possesssed.. tell me to go and die...

But yet im supposed to respect her and make straight A's and be some kinda model son... man fukk her...

When she sent me to that boarding school in SC. for 2 years with a BUNCH pf troubled kids.... With no phone call ..no care package.. my life really went down hill at that point... i really wish i wasnt here sometimes.. u just dont know...

So dont worry op.. people like me have it worse then you.. im.nkt saying ur mom didnt have faults but if she kept you under her roof for 18 years.. i feel like that at least the basic she could have done.. and i never got the basics from mine.

 

[AyBrehHam Linkin]

No issues for me, minor shyt here and there but

 

[Made Myself A Boss]

@Still Ill FC

You know how stupid my mother is...

I passed kindergarten... and my mother felt like i didn't know as much as i should know and she made me repeat the grade...

Against the schools wishes and everything,.

This dumb bytch who didn't learn how to read and dropped out of high school was so.paranoid about her own insecurities she set me back an entire year in life... like i simply dont have no love for this lady and never will cause she doesn't own up to her own problems and stupidity

 

[Made Myself A Boss]

And the crazy thing is that i knew how to read very well at a young age.. but my mother still would call.me stupid and retarded.. and tell me i wasnt smart..

U have no idea what i feels like to be insulted by your own mother

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

@MGM thank you for contributing and being brave. A lot of people just came in to view and that's cool too. I see ya'll viewers. The most I've had so far is damn near 80 or more folks viewing. I opened the discussion the way I did because I wanted everyone to feel comfortable saying whatever they think about their relationship with their parents or family. It turned into a thread about me with some good contributors. that's cool too.

I've answered all questions directly, honestly, and without insult to the poster. Even when the poster insults me or attempts to antagonize me.

I appreciate the support. There are a lot of good people on this board. This thread made me respect every contributor. I hope we can keep this energy pumping in other threads.

- We Are Together

 

[Art Barr]

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Yes I'm adopted, this isn't a joke man. I promise. I'm serious. I signed up to be transparent. In my day to day life I keep my personal life private. Most people don't know my last name. Some don't know my real name. I try to stay anonymous and without connections. It's easier to move on that way.

I read your story and I wanna say first,....
Every one does not get the good parent.
Believe me, I know.
My homie who is related to Steve McNair, rip.
He had the bad mother and she tried to kill him all the time over the course of his life for no reason.
Plus, if you deal with parental issues where the parent is not on the up an up. You could be dealing with your mom having dementia.
Plus, she has a rhythm to her life setup and in that rhythm.
She has architected normalcy.
Yet taken out of that normalcy.
Which is to early to diagnose.
When someone can't indepthly explain what is occurring.
That could be what the issue is.
Plus, we live in a narcissistic world and that narcissist could be so wild. they are experiencing forms of dementia.


Art Barr

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

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I read your story and I wanna say first,....
Every one does not get the good parent.
Believe me, I know.
My homie who is related to Steve McNair, rip.
He had the bad mother and she tried to kill him all the time over the course of his life for no reason.
Plus, if you deal with parental issues where the parent is not on the up an up. You could be dealing with your mom having dementia.
Plus, she has a rhythm to her life setup and in that rhythm he has architected normalcy.
Yet taken out of that normalcy.
Which is to early to diagnose.
When someone can't indepthly explain what is occurring.
That could be what the issue is.
Plus, we live in a narcissistic world and that narcissist could be so wild. they are experiencing forms of dementia.


Art Barr

I suspected my mom had dementia. She forgets things. Her mom had alzheimer's syndrome. I've told her for years to get tested but she refuses. I really do think she has an undiagnosed psychological disorder. I don't think she was a terrible mom. She was just emotionally unavailable and didn't express affection until I was 26. I turned 26 in November.

I've never been one to blame my mom or upbringing for my bad decisions. But I do think my relationship with my mom affected me very deeply. Specifically when shyt gets real with women and I have to be emotional.

I'm trying to get healthy without meds. They got my brother on some serious mood altering drugs.

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

I havent had a meaningful/civil convo with my dad in years and I don't think that's ever going to change. It's been nothing but bullshyt from him ever since I moved out, and he has skirted his duties as a father and husband over the last few years as well.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

I havent had a meaningful/civil convo with my dad in years and I don't think that's ever going to change. It's been nothing but bullshyt from him ever since I moved out, and he has skirted his duties as a father and husband over the last few years as well.

I hate to say this, but from what I've read in here it seems that the #1 issue with dad's is them not communicating and vacating their duties. I'm sorry to hear this. It must be nearly impossible to tell a grown ass man who gave birth to you what to do.

 

[Jimi Swagger]

I was raised by a single mom and her sisters. shyt was wild. I remember sincerely hating my mom and my brother. I remember giving them looks that I hoped would cause them to burst into flames.

My mom adores my older brother. She told me in sixth grade she couldn't imagine me as an adult but she could imagine my brother as an adult. Id bring home straight A's and she didn't care. My brother didn't graduate high school and she gets excited about anything he does.

I remember graduating high school with honors and seeing all the families with signs for their kids and they got gifts and parties. I didn't even get a congratulations. I over achieved all of my life hoping my mom would say she's proud of me or approve of me. She never did.

My mom gave me a lot of gifts. I appreciate my education very much. But, I'm never satisfied with myself and it's been destructive in my life. I used to think I was fat. Even though I wasn't. I pushed my body to weigh 142 lbs, I'm 5'10 I was passing out all the time. My mom used to tell me I was fat.

My mom calls me to talk about my brother. It's never about me. It's always about him. I remember I was planning to have a baby. My girl was pregnant. We were so excited. I called my mom to tell her and she kept talking about my brother. So I never did. She lost the pregnancy. I wish I could have talked to my mom but again, it's never about me.

My brother tried to stab me to death with a knife. He's a lot bigger than me. I remember seeing blood on the wall and thinking he got me. I was screaming for my mom to call the cops and she didn't. I had to beat this man unconscious.

I still have a stab wound in my hand from where I blocked the knife with my palm. She was more concerned about the broken toilet and shower door he destroyed tossing me through them. Maybe it's because I'm adopted.

- I love My Mom

nikkas have untreated severe mental issues breh and I am glad that you are open and honest. Just don't let your family's mania destroy you and try to not repeat those patterns to your future seeds/grandseeds. I'm curious if you all have different fathers? I notice women favor the child by the men they love or are with. Not just single mothers (they do it a alot) but divorced women do that as well, often look over the child from marriage 1 and dote on the children with new husband. Not fair to the kids and makes a difference in the family and interaction with one another (often dysfunctional)

Also, mothers tend to favor and protect the weakest child, don't take it personal, such is life. The drama child always gets the most attention as well as the grandchildren. Even in real life basket cases get the most attention and the plain person gets looked over unless they are needed to rescue someone. Really prevalent amongst black women with their knucklehead sons. Daughters can be honor roll virgins while the sons are straight knuckleheads and get all the attention and breast fed well into their 40s.

 

[brother walt]

my dad is older than the normal dad he had me when he was 55 so we didn't really like doing the same things but he was a great father and I love him he just up In age now

 

[Art Barr]

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I suspected my mom had dementia. She forgets things. Her mom had alzheimer's syndrome. I've told her for years to get tested but she refuses. I really do think she has an undiagnosed psychological disorder. I don't think she was a terrible mom. She was just emotionally unavailable and didn't express affection until I was 26. I turned 26 in November.

I've never been one to blame my mom or upbringing for my bad decisions. But I do think my relationship with my mom affected me very deeply. Specifically when shyt gets real with women and I have to be emotional.

I'm trying to get healthy without meds. They got my brother on some serious mood altering drugs.

Don't go on that meds shyt.
You not the one who is on one.
Your moms has dementia, breh.
I am sure of the shyt.
If you took her on a road trip in a car and disturbed her normalcy.
It would probably come out.
I just would not want you around.
Working as a cna helped me just straight spot the shyt.
Especially if let's say she can't accept accountability and is not emotionally able to digest you speaking calmly about the issue and it is like you not getting clear.
Like you have the monumental talk,...everyone knows the talk.
where shyt should be settled and then slowly you see the solution is being preyed upon by the person and you know you did nuffin to them. To re-kindle any heat or create a new situation.
Yet, the shyt you just talked monumentally about and just settled the issies and you were thorough.
They got early dementia, breh.
If they can not explain shyt to you, about issues you got concretely.
where there is no solution and they don't invest in getting to know you like you feel a parent should.
That feeling is you knowing something is not right.
Something psychologically is not right.
Like they eternally mad and play favorites,...for no reason.
More than likely dementia.
All cause a kid, as a parent you know your kid.
When a parent starts acting like this good kid is some innate evil hellion.
They have dementia,....
Like real talk,...notice shyt like do they get angry when you got sweets.
Like they never really eat sweets, like don't have a favorite closet candy they may have dementia.
Like snickers commercial, when they transform.
They probably have a prolonged need and sugar deficiency.
If you go over the little ol lady house and she got all that candy.
That shyt is there to keep them mentally healthy.
Like when they have those movies and the devil possesses someone and it hates shyt that is sweet.
It actually is the body somehow trying not to get sweets because of the disease. When you need to coax them to eat candy.

It is like some reverse shyt, from being restricted.
If they hunch over and never elevate their neck and have poor posture.
They have spinal fluid not draining out of their brain and it pools and corrodes the brain.
Simple shyt like sit up straight, have good posture.
That shyt seems like some craze ass wives tales but that shyt is real.
Somebody could have possibly hurt your mom physically too.
To where she developed some condition.
You may never know cause people in that state are just guarded and act like the cia about their life.
Like if you don't know no stories about your parents indepthly. Like when they were a kid and don't give lessons. That shyt is all early dementia or progressed and they should be checked out.
If they don't have time for you.
check out and get clarity and closure and prepare for later on to take care of them.
Plus, you will and the resentment to take care of them and you have nuffin but bad spots can wear on you
If you don't get closure you are going to carry baggage.
Making it horrible for you and you become a victim.
searching for answers that you won't get till they are diagnosed and you know how to deal with them in that experience.

So just be aware. Nobody is that damn grumpy, if they are they could have dementia, straight up...no bullshyt.

Not trying to be funny or nuffin.


Art Barr

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

I hate to say this, but from what I've read in here it seems that the #1 issue with dad's is them not communicating and vacating their duties. I'm sorry to hear this. It must be nearly impossible to tell a grown ass man who gave birth to you what to do.

It is what it is. He didn't get the family or kids he wanted and he blames us for it. It's really sad. Not as sad as your situation though. I don't know how old you are but you need to sever ties. Let me tell u a story.

I know a kid who was raised by Jehovah's Witnesses. He comes to find out he's gay and tells them. They disown him and he is out on the street. Breh since he left his family behind he has been thriving. Started a few of his own businesses, paying his way through college, loving life. It hurts but sometimes you have to cut ties to family. They can destroy you

 

[FaygoMI]

Black people need to go to the therapist more. I've never been but if you need to go, GO!

Anyone having trouble with parents spend the time researching narcissistic parents.

 

[CashmereThoughts]

Ma dukes stay trying to tell me what to do with my money, IDGAF what she talking abkut