Discuss: issues with your parents

[Clayton Endicott]

People be wanting me to "open up", but if i dont get genuine vibes, its pretty much not happening...

This is how I am. If you a real one, we can clown and politic all day every day, but if I get bad vibes from you, or you on that fake tough guy thug shyt . Us cool laid back brehs can dish out that work too.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

It is what it is. He didn't get the family or kids he wanted and he blames us for it. It's really sad. Not as sad as your situation though. I don't know how old you are but you need to sever ties. Let me tell u a story.

I know a kid who was raised by Jehovah's Witnesses. He comes to find out he's gay and tells them. They disown him and he is out on the street. Breh since he left his family behind he has been thriving. Started a few of his own businesses, paying his way through college, loving life. It hurts but sometimes you have to cut ties to family. They can destroy you

I'm going to do it ya'll. Im going to cut ties. I've thought about the advice I've received. I love my mom, but it is almost like stockholm syndrome. I feel indebted to her for adopting me, but I think I've paid my debt and I've paid a high price for my loyalty. I'm the healthiest I've been my whole life since I moved far away. I'm drug free. I like my body and I eat a lot rather than starving myself. The closer I am to my family the worse I feel. It takes me months to shake off the bad feelings too.

When I moved out she threw away all of my stuff within a month's time and didn't tell me. My entire childhood was thrown away. I went to her house to get my bed and my room was empty. I almost cried. But I knew I couldn't respond so I just said it was cool and started joking about it. When my big bro moved out she kept his room clean for him. That hurt the most. The symbolism behind that. My childhood meant little her. That's why it was easy to throw away artifacts from it I think.

I didn't expect this thread to be therapy for me. I avoid therapy. I had court ordered therapy for years for anger issues. I fought a lot growing up, but my grades were really good so they never locked me up. I refused to say anything. It sounds silly, but I feel closer to some of you than I do to anyone in my family.

- Still Ill FC Cares If Don't Nobody Else Care

 

[CinnaSlim]

Black people need to go to the therapist more. I've never been but if you need to go, GO!

Anyone having trouble with parents spend the time researching narcissistic parents.

Soo true! I just found out about Narcissists last year and binged watched a bunch of Youtube vids

 

[WELLDONE]

@99%ofthewomenonthecoli

 

[StarGirl]

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[Neil Tyson]

Just patched things up with my mom about 3 yrs ago. She never knew the entire reason why I left and went to the Navy. All I remember is her being really annoyed with my choice. One reason why I left, and I told her this, is that my cousin had just been shot and I was just ready to get out of there. But another reason why I left is becuz I felt like she had put the church before me and my brother. I was doing all this shyt in school, sports, speech and debate, business law, all of this shyt. But everytime I would have an event, their was always something to do for the church. She did the same thing with my brother when he was going thru high school.

About three years ago, I was picking her up from church and she asked me about me again about leaving to go to the Navy and I finally told her the entire reason. Her feelings were hurt but I think she understood and I feel like she is tryan make up for time thru her grandchildren.

Me and my dad's relationship is strange. We got into it about two years ago and didn't talk for months. It wasn't until my uncle died that we started communicating again.

My parents have recently got into the church stuff and I'm glad they waited until I was a grown man.

I was an angry kid growing up I don't think I'd cope with it as a teenager. I couldn't care less now.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

I read this thread before work at my new job to keep me motivated. It reminds me of this tape. God bless Kendrick Lamar. When I first heard this tape I loved it because of the rhymes and beats. Now every song hits me in my heart.

Anyone familiar with Blu? West Coast, LA! I love my state. I love our Hip Hop. I listen to him a lot. I like that he had a hard life, accepted it, and never hung his head. He's also got bars. He's a real smooth cat.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

I grew up having communication issues in my relationships. With some that's worth it, I really do try but it feels like pulling teeth. I feel like I'll get attacked saying anything that's on my mind so I just shut down.

I understand where you're coming from. Nothing you try is good enough for them. Talking doesn't help. Not talking doesn't help. What more could they ask of you?

I just hate when people try to get in my head, I just don't want to share my crazy with anyone.

Me too, I feel guilty for laying my shyt on them. You carry a heavy burden that only gets heavier as you age. Forgive me for jumping to assumptions. That's how I feel. I hide it from everyone because I don't want them to carry that weight.

I'm sorry you had to go thru that, hun and I believe you'd be a great father.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I feel like we're kindred spirits for real. My heart goes out to you. I sincerely mean that. I'd love to be a father. It's all I want in this world. But I'm scared. What's your sign? I'm a sag/scorpio. I think you might be one too.

Excuse me for what I'm about to say, but fukk your husband. I hate when people commit and bail on people.

Find Jesus and Go get therapy now....!!!! You do not want to push these ill negative ways towards anyone else in your life

I've always had faith in love. God is love I think. God is a creative force that's omnipresent. That's how I view love. I love me some love.

I keep the amount of people in my life to a minimum. I'm at one now. She's like my big sister. I love her very much. I contain my evil, and I actively try to rid myself of it. I recently stopped being a nanny and soccer coach/player. I did that for six years. None of my kids are evil. Lol, they're a little arrogant and talk that shyt from time to time, but they earn it by excelling in working hard and being exceptional young gentlemen. I practically have raised 3 kids. I taught them to read and do math. Talk to girls. Deal with bullies. Picked them up from school. Coached their soccer teams. I fed them. Some of the teenagers I work with call me when they can't talk to their parents. I hold many secrets.

Did you read the last paragraph though? All they tryna do is shove pills down my throat. It's not helping and if I explain to them how much it's fukking with my head and the stuff I think of doing, they gonna put me in a strait-jacket and lock me up in a mental ward.

This is why I refused to speak in therapy and I keep my inner thoughts private. I talk to one person, but theres a layer I can't show anyone. Once they diagnose you with something they treat you like a guinea pig for big pharma. I want to give you a hug or cook you something. Some things words can't say.

Do you spend a lot of time alone? I'll spend months by myself. Interacting with people is emotionally and psychologically taxing for me. My live in girlfriends have told me they feel unattractive because I'll go weeks without touching them. I feel weird admitting to them I feel unattractive and I don't want to be touched or even be around anyone in those periods of my life. So I didn't. This is why I don't date anymore. I flirt a lot though because that's normal.

Though there are people I'm drawn to and feel connected to. It's like an unspoken understanding. I think people like us have a look.

And two boys at that...

And she lived with her sister's

My mom balls hard. She's got paper for days. I was adopted through a private black adoption agency. She owns multiple properties and doesn't live with her sisters who are also college educated. What I meant was my aunts helped out and were like moms to me. my mom was a foster mother to five boys before she adopted my brother and I. Maybe that helped with the process.

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

I understand where you're coming from. Nothing you try is good enough for them. Talking doesn't help. Not talking doesn't help. What more could they ask of you?

Exactly!

Me too, I feel guilty for laying my shyt on them. You carry a heavy burden that only gets heavier as you age. Forgive me for jumping to assumptions. That's how I feel. I hide it from everyone because I don't want them to carry that weight.

No apologies, that's exactly how it seems! And it baffles me why it's like that.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I feel like we're kindred spirits for real. My heart goes out to you. I sincerely mean that. I'd love to be a father. It's all I want in this world. But I'm scared. What's your sign? I'm a sag/scorpio. I think you might be one too.

I'm a Sagittarius also!
& I know what you mean, before meeting my husband, having kids didn't appeal to me. But now, I do desire to have one or 2 of my own but, God, it scares me so much..

Excuse me for what I'm about to say, but fukk your husband. I hate when people commit and bail on people.

Lol, it's okay. shyt happens. Everything was going downhill anyways and he was making my depression worse. Oh well, that just leaves room for the next guy who was meant to be here.

This is why I refused to speak in therapy and I keep my inner thoughts private. I talk to one person, but theres a layer I can't show anyone. Once they diagnose you with something they treat you like a guinea pig for big pharma. I want to give you a hug or cook you something. Some things words can't say.

Do you spend a lot of time alone? I'll spend months by myself. Interacting with people is emotionally and psychologically taxing for me. My live in girlfriends have told me they feel unattractive because I'll go weeks without touching them. I feel weird admitting to them I feel unattractive and I don't want to be touched or even be around anyone in those periods of my life. So I didn't. This is why I don't date anymore. I flirt a lot though because that's normal.

Though there are people I'm drawn to and feel connected to. It's like an unspoken understanding. I think people like us have a look.

I totally understand about not sharing that layer and what upsets me more is the same people that tries to get me to talk, I talk and they don't understand.
Food sounds nice lol

Yes. But from what I'm being told, staying alone isn't helping my situation either. But when I surround myself with people, I have too many lapse where I ignore them all and "hide in a corner," words of my ex-husband. Which is true. I don't want to be touched, I don't want to be spoken to, I don't want any interaction that involves me talking. I don't know what to do about feeling like this and flicking the "off" switch.

 

[Abstract83]

Exactly!



No apologies, that's exactly how it seems! And it baffles me why it's like that.



I'm a Sagittarius also!
& I know what you mean, before meeting my husband, having kids didn't appeal to me. But now, I do desire to have one or 2 of my own but, God, it scares me so much..



Lol, it's okay. shyt happens. Everything was going downhill anyways and he was making my depression worse. Oh well, that just leaves room for the next guy who was meant to be here.




I totally understand about not sharing that layer and what upsets me more is the same people that tries to get me to talk, I talk and they don't understand.
Food sounds nice lol

Yes. But from what I'm being told, staying alone isn't helping my situation either. But when I surround myself with people, I have too many lapse where I ignore them all and "hide in a corner," words of my ex-husband. Which is true. I don't want to be touched, I don't want to be spoken to, I don't want any interaction that involves me talking. I don't know what to do about feeling like this and flicking the "off" switch.

I dont wanna intrude but im reading the back and forth and im thinking maybe u two should private dm i mean that in a good way. I see a connection

 

[BobbyBooshay]

This pretty much sums up my relationship with my Dad





Really powerful as I can relate

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

Lol, it's okay. shyt happens. Everything was going downhill anyways and he was making my depression worse. Oh well, that just leaves room for the next guy who was meant to be here.

Your optimism is uplifting. For real. I met this really cool girl at work while flirting with her friend. She's got good energy and she doesn't mind my dark passenger. I never thought I'd be more attracted to someone as a whole rather than a part of them. I don't even know her name and I'm comfortable around her. It's Miranda or Marissa. She's not my type. When I look in her eyes they twinkle. It makes me happy. I'm confused. Lol. I might be in love. She might try to kill me like those other girls though.

Food sounds nice lol

That's all I need in this world.

Yes. But from what I'm being told, staying alone isn't helping my situation either. But when I surround myself with people, I have too many lapse where I ignore them

Hopefully you'll find someone who can respect your need for space at times. I think you will. I wish I was cupid. I'd hook you up.

. I don't know what to do about feeling like this and flicking the "off" switch.

I keep it simple. It is what is and the world keeps spinning is what I tell myself. I feel like I'm screaming in a crowded and nobody is listening. I decided it's best to stfu and leave the room. Bayside says it best: what's so wrong with being alone when alone is all you know?

 

[315]

Depressing ass stories

 

[Piffiztheanswer]

This thread cuts deep breh...
I have a toxic relationship wit ma dukes
Pops we cool as fukk but we bump heads every now and then. In the end tho im grateful they gave me a lot of material possessions and experiences. But like OP stated can i get some recognition? Some love back?

 

[Turk]

At this point in my life I'm just tolerating my parents. I don't really care about maintaining a good functioning relationship with them anymore. Once I stack and bounce...I'm gonna be gone for good.