Deep down I think I hate my mom, anyone else feel this way?

[Concerning VIolence]

the infallible black mother. doesn't matter if she purposely brought you up into poverty, had other nikkas around to molest you, cursed you from the day you were born, and treated you like the bane of her existence; yall still better love and worship her.

Moms can do no wrong.

 

[marcuz]

i wouldn't, fathers dont have that kind of plot armor. no one would try to shame a black girl for hating her abusive or absent father.

 

[Rawtid]

Not everybody deserves forgiveness. Just because they gave birth to you doesn't mean you owe them that. They can fukk off.

Forgiveness is purely for your benefit. You don't deserve to harbor anger. It's not good for you.

 

[Rawtid]

i wouldn't, fathers dont have that kind of plot armor. no one would try to shame a black girl for hating her abusive or absent father.

My advice would be the same. I had a convo with my dad in regards to his absence and it wasn't what I wanted to hear but I understood where he was coming from and I left it at that. The next time I saw him was at his house after he had gotten chemo. The time after that was at his funeral. When I became a parent I REALLY understood where he was coming from although I would never abandon my kid but recognizing it as an issue has helped me do whatever to combat the feeling.

 

[Scott Larock]

Its Like I secretly hate her for her shytty life choices amd their effects on me

dont hate moms but she made bad choices and I made bad choices, I think I didn't know better when I was younger and my pops I may have stronger hate towards him, he just never really wanted to deal with kids period, give him his boys, beer and let them dudes tell jokes till they drop, they're not built for fatherhood.

 

[Kid McNamara]

Bruh it's already been done multiple times.......


Steve Jobs and Whoever he partnered with...


The Google boys....


Zuckerberg and his harvard cronies.



Race is DEFINITELY a factor, because blacks make up 12.2% of the population, but only .36% (that's POINT 36, not 3.6) of the American Billionaires.

Whites make up 72% of the population, but probably like 90 to 95% of the American billionaires.


The numbers don't lie.


Whites, are overall, per capita, more ambitious than blacks, especially when we are talking REAL wealth and not just some "opening a night club" or "rapping" bullshyt.


Besides the billionaire statistics, whites graduate at a higher clip, make higher grades... I mean we all know this.


I'm also willing to bet whites are less jealous minded, less crab in the bucket mentality, and more trustworthy... (I mean, even black prostitutes put in their ad "no black men" .... black people don't even trust black people........ If we keeping it 1000.........)


Just keeping it *all the way real*.


If I was white, it'd be easier to find a solid business partner. Period.


I'm not, so I'll continue doing what I do.

Dude, billionaires make up such a small percentage of the population that it makes little sense to even have that discussion. Stop playing fast and loose with statistics.

Most white guys are average to below-average and end up getting by. Whites are not less jealous minded, more trustworthy, or any of that other bullshyt you're spitting. The average white guy is just as unbearable to deal with as the below-average black dude. Matter fact, it's often worse because they have a sense of entitlement but have never truly succeeded at anything. As stated by Wall Street Playboys:

2) Average Guys are Worse Than Average Women: If you have ever started a company or at least moved up to a managerial position… You learn this fact quickly. While an average girl may be boring, slightly unattractive and annoying… At least she is not angling to ruin your life. Average guys are the worst.

Average guys get jealous extremely easily and are hyper competitive with nothing to show for it. They will consistently compare themselves to others and believe that they are better than you based on their zero success in life. It is atrocious. The worst part? They even have the audacity to give life advice when they have accomplished nothing at all. Leading more and more people down a path of mediocrity.

Best way to find someone to build with is to put yourself in environments where those people are likely to be, demonstrate your value, form a relationship, and build.

So absolutely, if you're going to Harvard (like Zuckerberg, Gates, etc.), or MIT (Lewin, etc), or Stanford (Page and Brin from Google), or Wharton (Finance, hedge funds), you'll be able to find people to connect and build with (regardless of race, these guys were outliers whether by intellect, work ethic, or both). And race plays a part, but the issues you outlined are issues that almost every self-made, successful person has to deal with.

But it's a given, most blacks folks didn't grow up in Silicon Valley during the 60's/70's, most didn't have access to the resources and knowledge that their middle- and upper-middle class white counterparts did.

 

[swag2011]

My best friend used to get abused by his step father almost everyday. He'd call the police and when the police came she'd lie to em. I remember he came to school with broken ribs and bruises. His mother wouldn't even take em to the hospital. He'd tell his grandmother what was happening. She'd confront his mother and his mother would say he was lying. I can't blame him for hating her at all. She knew her child was getting abused physically by her boyfriend and ain't do shyt. He used to get beat with a thick ass ping pong paddle . fukk anybody who think mothers are beyond reproach.

that is extremely sad. Where was his bio father? I wonder how is relationship is with the mom and step father now. People may not be the best parent but i don't see how ANYONE choose someone over their own kids, much less abuse them like that.

 

[yardman]

that is extremely sad. Where was his bio father? I wonder how is relationship is with the mom and step father now. People may not be the best parent but i don't see how ANYONE choose someone over their own kids, much less abuse them like that.

From what he told me he's never met em.

 

[Dwolf]

Forgiveness is a glorious thing. There is nothing like it.

Nah fukk that. Hate a nikka till Im in the ground

 

[Dev2103]

hate is strong but interesting thread, @marcuz post about the infallible black mother is spot on. you can talk about fathers like a dog in the black community but have to honor the mother no matter how crazy because well...9months. there are some damaged women out there that also happen to be mothers. s/o to all the mommas boys though anyway

 

[Vice Queen]

Two stories:

My cousin (1st cousin, oldest grandchild on my dad's side) wasn't raised by her patents, but by our grandparents. Anyway, she has five children by five different men, 3 boys and 2 girls. They all mistreated the boys, especially the youngest boy. Called them every motherfukker under the sun. Beat them for everything. The second son is in Santa Fe now going to school and he wrote a letter and posted it to Facebook blasting her, saying she's a terrible mother and how he was raped and he wants nothing more to do with her. All she could say was no matter what, I'm still your mother. The daughters... Thank God her oldest daughter's father took custody of her and raised her, she's attending Cal State now. Youngest daughter is in therapy because she was molested at a young age and is unable to have children because of it. Youngest daughter's father almost killed my cousin too.

I've got another cousin that ain't really raising her son too.

My coworker can't stand her mother because her mother is legit mental. Paranoid that everyone is out to get her, in debt out the ass, has warrants for her arrest and can't get a job because of it. My coworker refuses to take a vacation because she doesn't want to be at home with her mother. Father probably ran off because of her craziness.

 

[A Woman's Opinion]

I hear ya but regardless parents need to be told about thems elves when they screw up. A lot of people have no business havent children but they insist on popping them out.

Black people make fun of white kids who talks back at their parents and claim black kids don't disrespect parents. But I don't think it's healthy to hold in resentment and pretend that your parents can do no wrong.

It's time for many bad mothers like fathers to ne checked om how they screwed over their kids lives/amd gave them a very bad start. Things are tough enouh for blacks it is.

Family should be your main support system. But what happens when your support system is antagonizing you. I invite many black men to start have real conversations about their.mothers it will improve how black men and women interact with one another.

I actually agree with a lot of this. Me and my sister had to tell our mother about herself over something small. Long story short, my mother got into it with her siblings. (my mom) And she was completely WRONG. Like most Leo's, she can never admit when she's wrong. We called her out about it (to help her be a better person) and pointed out instances when she does it to us...

She insisted we were being "disrespectful", and you aren't supposed to "correct" your mother. That's disrespectful.



So what should we do? Let you make a fool of yourself and hurt everyone else around you while you go on thinking your behavior is okay?

That's toxic and enabling.



My mother is a great person. A great woman. We had a father. She was cool. It's just that character flaw, and she thought we were sooooo wrong for telling her that.

No relationship should be one sided. Where you can have a conversation with me about me, but we can't talk about you. I would never want my kids to feel like that.