Dear Single, Black, Female Professional…

The Nigerian

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Dear Single, Black, Female Professional,

I dig the fact that you're doing your thing on the whole account management tip, but there's no need to turn every inquiry about what I'm doing into a pissing contest. If you ask me "What did you do this week?" and I respond "I closed over $30k in new business in one week!" Just say something like "Good for you!" or "Awesome!" You know, nice shyt to say when your friends are in a celebratory mood.

"That's all?" is the least cool thing you can say to a dude that just told you that. No need to start going on and on about how you set an appointment for some other motherfukker on a thrillion dollar account that you have no ownership of. What the hell? Look, if you had a bad week at your glorified secretary gig we can talk about it and I'll do my best to put your mind at ease… or hell, I can do better and put you onto some better opportunities. shytting all over my week isn't going to make yours any better.

Oh, and the whole yelling to have a conversation thing is such a turn off. You're lucky I waited until you left to the bathroom before I bounced because I just wanted to splash you in the face with my drink and dip out in the middle of your last diatribe.

I hate that everything they say about you is obnoxiously true. I really do. It's embarassing to be associated with your bullsh!t. Learn how to chill out and just be happy about existence. Not every interaction needs to be a conflict. It could be cool having a Michelle Obama type on deck but it seems like… from the things that you tell me you value and the venues that you choose to attend and brag about that you're into really petty, superficial shyt and having pointless pissing matches with dudes that trigger insane amounts of insecurity in you.

It would be great if we could link up and build each other up as we go through the struggle together but all you want to do is compare me to the various drug dealers and athletes you messed with back in high school and college. You know what? If your drug dealer ex-boyfriend is such a baller then have him come throgh and buy your next round of whatever rapper sponsored, over priced, Kool-Aide+vodka schlop your ilk is into this month.

You're insufferable. Undatable. You're going to die alone if you keep this shyt up. I'm doing Sunday brunch with a not-black chick that not only looks better than you, but more importantly she's also far better behaved than you, too.

Signed,
Single, Black, Male Professional
Options Haver
 

DalMem

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So what is the difference between "The Nig" and "The Nigerian".

Same person? :manny:
 

La Heffer Paris

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Dear Single, Black, Female Professional,

I dig the fact that you're doing your thing on the whole account management tip, but there's no need to turn every inquiry about what I'm doing into a pissing contest. If you ask me "What did you do this week?" and I respond "I closed over $30k in new business in one week!" Just say something like "Good for you!" or "Awesome!" You know, nice shyt to say when your friends are in a celebratory mood.

"That's all?" is the least cool thing you can say to a dude that just told you that. No need to start going on and on about how you set an appointment for some other motherfukker on a thrillion dollar account that you have no ownership of. What the hell? Look, if you had a bad week at your glorified secretary gig we can talk about it and I'll do my best to put your mind at ease… or hell, I can do better and put you onto some better opportunities. shytting all over my week isn't going to make yours any better.

Oh, and the whole yelling to have a conversation thing is such a turn off. You're lucky I waited until you left to the bathroom before I bounced because I just wanted to splash you in the face with my drink and dip out in the middle of your last diatribe.

I hate that everything they say about you is obnoxiously true. I really do. It's embarassing to be associated with your bullsh!t. Learn how to chill out and just be happy about existence. Not every interaction needs to be a conflict. It could be cool having a Michelle Obama type on deck but it seems like… from the things that you tell me you value and the venues that you choose to attend and brag about that you're into really petty, superficial shyt and having pointless pissing matches with dudes that trigger insane amounts of insecurity in you.

It would be great if we could link up and build each other up as we go through the struggle together but all you want to do is compare me to the various drug dealers and athletes you messed with back in high school and college. You know what? If your drug dealer ex-boyfriend is such a baller then have him come throgh and buy your next round of whatever rapper sponsored, over priced, Kool-Aide+vodka schlop your ilk is into this month.

You're insufferable. Undatable. You're going to die alone if you keep this shyt up. I'm doing Sunday brunch with a not-black chick that not only looks better than you, but more importantly she's also far better behaved than you, too.

Signed,
Single, Black, Male Professional
Options Haver

:aicmon:

Go make a Barack Obama with her and split.

:stopitslime:
 

HoLLaBaCK

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Over the years too many women have begun to take on a more masculine/competitive persona, the flip side though is too many men have begun to act like bytches :yeshrug:
 

blackzeus

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Dear Single, Black, Female Professional,

I dig the fact that you're doing your thing on the whole account management tip, but there's no need to turn every inquiry about what I'm doing into a pissing contest. If you ask me "What did you do this week?" and I respond "I closed over $30k in new business in one week!" Just say something like "Good for you!" or "Awesome!" You know, nice shyt to say when your friends are in a celebratory mood.

"That's all?" is the least cool thing you can say to a dude that just told you that. No need to start going on and on about how you set an appointment for some other motherfukker on a thrillion dollar account that you have no ownership of. What the hell? Look, if you had a bad week at your glorified secretary gig we can talk about it and I'll do my best to put your mind at ease… or hell, I can do better and put you onto some better opportunities. shytting all over my week isn't going to make yours any better.

Oh, and the whole yelling to have a conversation thing is such a turn off. You're lucky I waited until you left to the bathroom before I bounced because I just wanted to splash you in the face with my drink and dip out in the middle of your last diatribe.

I hate that everything they say about you is obnoxiously true. I really do. It's embarassing to be associated with your bullsh!t. Learn how to chill out and just be happy about existence. Not every interaction needs to be a conflict. It could be cool having a Michelle Obama type on deck but it seems like… from the things that you tell me you value and the venues that you choose to attend and brag about that you're into really petty, superficial shyt and having pointless pissing matches with dudes that trigger insane amounts of insecurity in you.

It would be great if we could link up and build each other up as we go through the struggle together but all you want to do is compare me to the various drug dealers and athletes you messed with back in high school and college. You know what? If your drug dealer ex-boyfriend is such a baller then have him come throgh and buy your next round of whatever rapper sponsored, over priced, Kool-Aide+vodka schlop your ilk is into this month.

You're insufferable. Undatable. You're going to die alone if you keep this shyt up. I'm doing Sunday brunch with a not-black chick that not only looks better than you, but more importantly she's also far better behaved than you, too.

Signed,
Single, Black, Male Professional
Options Haver

Why don't you see Asians, whites, or Latinos talking like this? Why only black males? If a chick affects you that much, that says something about YOU, not her. If you have options, go exercise them, nobody wants to hear your sob story about how some chick didn't give a f*ck about your $30K account. And she's right, it's not that much money, get your weight up, but congrats anyway. :russ:
 

Jone2three45

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GIFSoup

The struggle is real, it's time to mess around with white girls...or geeky black women....or get a better job. the 1900's-60's are gone, everyone is equal and both wear the pants in the house.
 

The Nigerian

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:aicmon:

Go make a Barack Obama with her and split.

:stopitslime:
Obama, Sr. was the man. He did it the right way… making offspring with highly educated women around the world. What makes his accomplishments more impressive was the fact that he did it in a time when racism was an insanely integral aspect of human interaction world wide. Not only that, but he didn't have the advantage of modern tech as he was putting in work.

However unlike Sr., I want to play a part in my children's upbringing. I'll maintain regular contact with my little ones via Skype and Facebook.
 

Emperor Sol

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2po48ys.jpg
 
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I don't know where you guys are working that you haven't met an overly career oriented power-tripping egotistical bytch of a white woman yet either. :usure:

While I agree with parts of the original post, the white versions of this woman are infinitely worse because they have a udder lack of respect for you (professional black male) and think you're arrogant or even worse, don't believe to be in your position (which is ironic...because they're female....).

At least a black woman doesn't think you're a required hire.
 

DaChampIsHere

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My mom was very motivated by her career so I have no problem with a woman like that. The woman in your letter just sounds like she didn't respect you as a person, honestly. I don't think it has anything to do with her career.

She asked you how your week went and all you could talk about was your job :pachaha:

I don't know where you guys are working that you haven't met an overly career oriented power-tripping egotistical bytch of a white woman yet either. :usure:
This. The white AND Asian women I have come across are way worse.

I think the disparity between black men and women comes from the general lack of black men in corporate positions when contrasted with the amount of women.

And that problem has a lot of factors in it too. But I can definitely say that black men running to a supposed white "savior" won't solve that
 
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