Dear ‘Broke’ Men: Don’t Punish A Woman for Not Wanting to Date You (EBONY)

[Mr Hate Coffee]

Articles like this is why there's a disconnection between men & women specifically in our communities because everything is about money. When I read these articles it tells me these women don't want love they want money, the big white picket fence, the expensive luxury cars etc etc just a bunch of fantasy living & probably are the type to brag about how a man needs to make over 100k in salary (when majority of them don't even make anything close to that) just to have a chance to blow their back out when they've already done constantly let flipping burger type dudes bust em down back in high school/post graduate.

This creates a dynamic where the men with money are in prime position to take advantage of these women. So you have situations with a woman being more comfortable as a side chick to a breh with money than to build something with a breh on the come up.

 

[southern.girl]

Brehette you're making our point...

It is unfair to punish or stereotype black women for things such as student loans, credit card debt, taking care of no good men/family members when there are socioeconomic and systemic reasons why black women are the most affected by these things. To simply label it as just "Black women not doing enough" would be lazy and ignorant.

Just as it is also unfair and hypocritical for these same women to go make the cast the same judgement on black men as a whole for "being broke" when there are socioeconomic and systemic reasons why black men make less compared to other races of men. To simply label it as "Black men are broke because they're lazy and not trying" would be lazy and ignorant as well. Especially when these women are not balling like that either.

It's not fair to either side...

I understand the racist structure of America and all of its implications. Yet, black people can still achieve some level of stability. That being said, I don't find anything wrong with black women requiring that potential mates share similar traits as they do. And from my experience, most black women are seeking their equal, not a millionalre.

As an example, this is no different than a childless man excluding single mothers from his dating pool. As a childless man, he is well within his right to make that call. Basically, I'm simply a huge proponent that everyone should be allowed to require what they bring to the table....man or woman.

@Sweet Meat Chaucer U literally making the same point she made
I swear mane

We are looking at the same points, but through a different vantage point. What I perceive Books to be alluding to is that black women should build together with the men that they desire.

While that's definitely ideal, I don't find that POV to be realistic. Many women still want to get married and if building a man up didn't result in a successful marriage, than it is perceived (by many women) as a fail and a waste of time. If you want more black women to embrace building black men up, then you need to marry your day 1s. Nothing reinforces a dating trend like seeing the positive results of a certain path.

What’s your definition of shunning if you mind me asking?

I know what shunning means, but I want to know what you mean by this?

You can use "shame" if you prefer.

 

[TheNig]

Basically

It's almost like it's frowned upon to have some standard.

You don't want a far bytch, then you're body shaming.

bytch don't want a broke nikka, she a gold digger.

Everybody on the extreme. shyt is weird.

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

Some women so full of shyt

A man will date a Walmart cashier

Cause he ain't looking for the bytch to be his come up
Then after wifing her up put her through school


My cousin funded his wife cost of living while she was in MED school
She fukked a dude in the hospital during her residency numerous times

Her stupid ass left her email open at home and my cuz read all about it

 

[philmonroe]

Breh this whole thread is finger wagging. Thats the problem. And no I'm not going to keep quiet about something you don't want to hear

I don't give a fukk what you do stupid. It was just a suggestion so you can stop the same whinning your complaining about dummy. The whole thread isn't finger wagging but people want to find ways to excuse their bullshyt so go,ahead and whine.

 

[Knuckles Red]

Women aren't obligated to do anything that isn't in their best interests.

 

[The ADD]

Breh this whole thread is finger wagging. Thats the problem. And no I'm not going to keep quiet about something you don't want to hear

I don’t think the entire thread is finger wagging

 

[philmonroe]

I'm not even sure what you're trying to insinuate. What is a male pick?

It's not about commenting about something that doesn't relate. It's about CARING. Who cares about this? Unless you're broke and in your feelings or something. And even then... look who wrote it. Yall care what she thinks?

People online care or else why would anybody comment? Why are you commenting if you don't care? I guess you're rich and not in your feelings even though you feel the need to finger wag? Who the fukk is y'all? I don't care about it outside of it would be funny if this was ever done in reverse. So again who the fukk is y'all? I just think you dudes with the lazy one size fits all everybody is broke logic is bytch shyt that could only fly online.

 

[philmonroe]

I really don't understand what nikkas are so mad for. Women that ain't fukking with you when you're broke are doing you a favor anyway

What is good with the bytch logic of everybody is mad? Why can't folks just be speaking on the article without being mad? That's where y'all cats look like hoes at. I agree women that don't mess with you for whatever reason are doing you a favor.

 

[feelosofer]

I think that's fair. Women shouldn't date broke men if that's their preference. Just keep that same energy when A. The broke dudes comes up and is not checking for you when you curved him when his pockets were light or B. When you realize that having a pretty face and a phat ass might is not enough for men with money to want to be with you LONG TERM. He'll go out with you and he'll fukk you but if you haven't built anything of your own or weren't there with him on ground zero he's a lot less likely to take you seriously.

But on a side note most of Americans are a paycheck or two from being broke.

 

[ShackZilla89]

This creates a dynamic where the men with money are in prime position to take advantage of these women. So you have situations with a woman being more comfortable as a side chick to a breh with money than to build something with a breh on the come up.

The women do it to themselves, all they see is money, all the guy sees is another notch..lol But that's what happens when you put everything before character, morals and values.

 

[Imogen]

What about men saying they don't want fat girls

Cause um
If that's u in your avi

U a hefty cinch sack body having ass chick



U literally making the same point she made




I swear mane

you wish you looked like me you miserable bytch

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

you wish you looked like me you miserable bytch

I'm pretty sure we weigh the same


​

 

[Imogen]

I'm pretty sure we weigh the same


​

i m pretty sure I look better than you, have better credit, have an actual profession unlike yourself. You re on this site looking like fukking wendys go make me a sandwich bytch.

 

[The Fade]

If she don’t do wheatgrass or cardio.. I don’t care if she got degrees

I got money, a degree, in shape, no kids or debt

Where my ‘equal’ at?