Dear ‘Broke’ Men: Don’t Punish A Woman for Not Wanting to Date You (EBONY)

[Shorty K]

What is good with the bytch logic of everybody is mad? Why can't folks just be speaking on the article without being mad? That's where y'all cats look like hoes at. I agree women that don't mess with you for whatever reason are doing you a favor.

Who said everybody? Those are your words my guy.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

This post is not fair to black women.

1. A lot of black women are spending their salaries on grown a$$ family members & being guilted into doing so when they push back on the entitlement. This is, most likely, an underlying reason for debt.
2. Student debt is crippling everyone, although I admit, black women are probably the largest group negatively affected.
3. There’s also the prevalent practice of “building a man” only for that relationship to not end up in marriage. If dudes are not marrying their day 1’s, is the “build him up” investment worth your time?
4. A lot of black women saw their mothers take care of a able bodied men & refuse to do that themselves. I literally have a friend making six figures. Her mom was laid off & is most likely too old to be hired. The husband hasn’t worked in YEARS. Yet, the mom has a whole mortgage to pay. Men that rely on women to live are not men, IMO.

I’m all for keeping both black men & women accountable. But we can’t shun black women for making poor relationship choices, then shun them for trying to avoid the same poor relationship choices.

I actually agree with your points but it still doesn't make what I said wrong.

I'm addressing something far more insidious in our community between blk men and blk women: the idea that either group is BETTER than one another.

There are blk men with chips on their shoulders who think they are better than blk women. I routinely go in on them and have dealt with the cult of the blk man when they become incensed at any critique.

But blk women are the same. There are blk women who think they are better than blk men, and the shyt is ridiculous given the reality that most Americans PERIOD are a paycheck away from economic disaster.

No one is saying date a bum. I most certainly will not. However, the association of academia with success is short-sighted and oversimplifying. The demonization of blue collar work and trades in this country has led to a society of snobs with artificial skills and unnecessary debts which renders their opinion irrelevant on "broke" people b/c they broke too!

For me this is less about blk female bashing (I know my cheekiness can be offensive for blk men or blk women) and more about discouraging delusions of grandeur that some blk women have about blk men: namely the lie that we have more economically going on than our men do b/c we are more likely to participate in higher ed.

shyt is demoralizing and just plain false. Frankly I don't know where these myths come from.
And no this isn't an invitation for a blk male c00n to lie and be like "dem Beckies don't care if Iz be broke"...but it's just as dumb for blk chicks to have a net worth of $5 talm bout "broke nikkas".

It's waaaaaaaaaaaaay too many factors that play into this including our communities adherence to Western consumerism and vices to our own detriment.

I know entirely too many blk females chasing a Real Housewives of Atlanta lifestyle while being entirely financially illiterate themselves and resenting blk men for not providing that for them.

And that resentment is apropos in some ways b/c many blk men have been brainwashed into believing that the fruits of their labor should only go to non-blk females.

But I digress. In the spirit of honesty, imma need for blk chicks with the mentality I was describing to take several seats. I'm proud of the strides blk women have made oftentimes in the midst of abuse and negligence, but not at the price of watching them become elitist towards their own and ignore that white supremacy exists.
And I say the same thing to blk men when they ignorantly assume that they are better than blk women.
In short, get yours but don't look down on others who ain't got it, especially when most ain't got it...and having "it" ain't really what's best for most of us anyway.

 

[southern.girl]

I actually agree with your points but it still doesn't make what I said wrong.

I'm addressing something far more insidious in our community between blk men and blk women: the idea that either group is BETTER than one another.

There are blk men with chips on their shoulders who think they are better than blk women. I routinely go in on them and have dealt with the cult of the blk man when they become incensed at any critique.

But blk women are the same. There are blk women who think they are better than blk men, and the shyt is ridiculous given the reality that most Americans PERIOD are a paycheck away from economic disaster.

No one is saying date a bum. I most certainly will not. However, the association of academia with success is short-sighted and oversimplifying. The demonization of blue collar work and trades in this country has led to a society of snobs with artificial skills and unnecessary debts which renders their opinion irrelevant on "broke" people b/c they broke too!

For me this is less about blk female bashing (I know my cheekiness can be offensive for blk men or blk women) and more about discouraging delusions of grandeur that some blk women have about blk men: namely the lie that we have more economically going on than our men do b/c we are more likely to participate in higher ed.

shyt is demoralizing and just plain false. Frankly I don't know where these myths come from.
And no this isn't an invitation for a blk male c00n to lie and be like "dem Beckies don't care if Iz be broke"...but it's just as dumb for blk chicks to have a net worth of $5 talm bout "broke nikkas".

It's waaaaaaaaaaaaay too many factors that play into this including our communities adherence to Western consumerism and vices to our own detriment.

I know entirely too many blk females chasing a Real Housewives of Atlanta lifestyle while being entirely financially illiterate themselves and resenting blk men for not providing that for them.

And that resentment is apropos in some ways b/c many blk men have been brainwashed into believing that the fruits of their labor should only go to non-blk females.

But I digress. In the spirit of honesty, imma need for blk chicks with the mentality I was describing to take several seats. I'm proud of the strides blk women have made oftentimes in the midst of abuse and negligence, but not at the price of watching them become elitist towards their own and ignore that white supremacy exists.
And I say the same thing to blk men when they ignorantly assume that they are better than blk women.
In short, get yours but don't look down on others who ain't got it, especially when most ain't got it...and having "it" ain't really what's best for most of us anyway.

I totally agree with this...especially the bolded.

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

I don’t think the entire thread is finger wagging

ITs either dudes finger wagging at women for having the nerve to demand anything while being less than perfect or dudes finger wagging at other dudes for being so whiny

Either way it's a far cry from the fukkery and barber shop talk that gives TLR value

 

[Nintendough]

If a man is broke then why would he even have the chance to punish you?

 

[The ADD]

ITs either dudes finger wagging at women for having the nerve to demand anything while being less than perfect or dudes finger wagging at other dudes for being so whiny

Either way it's a far cry from the fukkery and barber shop talk that gives TLR value

Those might be the loudest voices but not th only voices

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Yeah I just feel strongly about this b/c I know so many amazing blk dudes who are trying to make a living and currently some people look down their noses at trades and blue collar work. This society really needs to be burned down. There are just so many issues.

And I think the blk community gets swept up in Western vices and the myth of the American Dream.
We go thru a racist education system that prepares us for nothing particularly our men. And even if you get a degree the fields paying the most are associated with skill sets that are artificial in nature (I.e. Computer systems).

So as my father predicted, within 2-3 generations you a group of people who used to be completely self-sufficient, who are now at the mercy of governmental infrastructures that are now failing them. And yeah we know how to bubble in an answer sheet but digging wells, producing food, making clothes...

We don't know anything real! A lot of chicks don't even cook anymore.
Girl I'm rambling! I didn't even read the article so I feel silly but ya'll get my point.

I totally agree with this...especially the bolded.

 

[JQ Legend]

Could easily tell these same chicks don't be mad when the broke dude come up and just uses you

Dudes who feel rejected by women then all of a sudden have options when they improve in life almost always shyt on the women suddenly interested in them

 

[Matt504]

Could easily tell these same chicks don't be mad when the broke dude come up and just uses you

Dudes who feel rejected by women then all of a sudden have options when they improve in life almost always shyt on the women suddenly interested in them

Because they came up and failed to learn anything along the way, it's rules to this shyt and instead of nikkas accepting that and moving accordingly, they grow bitter and want revenge.

Do nikkas have this same energy for banks that deny them credit, nope, when they get their scores up, they don't bytch about how the banks didn't want them when they were broke, they happily apply for credit and have no malice in their hearts for those banks.

The root of this shyt is entitlement issues. If you're unqualified to date someone while you're on your dikk and they are interested after you come up, how the fukk can you possibly be mad at that unless you feel like you should have had a chance when you were broke.

 

[southern.girl]

Yeah I just feel strongly about this b/c I know so many amazing blk dudes who are trying to make a living and currently some people look down their noses at trades and blue collar work. This society really needs to be burned down. There are just so many issues.

And I think the blk community gets swept up in Western vices and the myth of the American Dream.
We go thru a racist education system that prepares us for nothing particularly our men. And even if you get a degree the fields paying the most are associated with skill sets that are artificial in nature (I.e. Computer systems).

So as my father predicted, within 2-3 generations you a group of people who used to be completely self-sufficient, who are now at the mercy of governmental infrastructures that are now failing them. And yeah we know how to bubble in an answer sheet but digging wells, producing food, making clothes...

We don't know anything real! A lot of chicks don't even cook anymore.
Girl I'm rambling! I didn't even read the article so I feel silly but ya'll get my point.

I come from a family of blue collar workers so I totally get what you are saying. I just keep seeing dudes do the same thing (looking down on people) as they claim black women to do. For instance, this very article surrounds this man stating the following

“See, that woman right there [insert random acquaintance he knows] is my type of woman. But a man like me can’t get a chick like her. She won’t date a regular dude. She wants a dude who has it all together.”

First off, the dude has no self esteem. Secondly, my next question was "how many secretaries, hairdressers, postal workers is he passing up b/c of the corporate woman that he presumably can't get?" He's clearly only focused on one type (the corporate chick). So how can he be mad at someone's percieved classism, when he practices that himself? I know a hairdresser who eventually left that career & owns her own franchise now with her husband. I bet you any money this type of man would've ignored the younger (hairdresser) version of her. So it looks like no one is open to building someone up.

Basically, I'm just tired of the pot & the kettle.

 

[southern.girl]

Could easily tell these same chicks don't be mad when the broke dude come up and just uses you

Dudes who feel rejected by women then all of a sudden have options when they improve in life almost always shyt on the women suddenly interested in them

What makes you guys think that black women are not giving broke dudes a chance though? I see more black women trying to build men up, only to have egg on there face & years wasted. The real issue is that building a man is not garnering positive results (i.e. marriage) on a large scale or consistent basis.

 

[JQ Legend]

Because they came up and failed to learn anything along the way, it's rules to this shyt and instead of nikkas accepting that and moving accordingly, they grow bitter and want revenge.

Do nikkas have this same energy for banks that deny them credit, nope, when they get their scores up, they don't bytch about how the banks didn't want them when they were broke, they happily apply for credit and have no malice in their hearts for those banks.

The root of this shyt is entitlement issues. If you're unqualified to date someone while you're on your dikk and they are interested after you come up, how the fukk can you possibly be mad at that unless you feel like you should have had a chance when you were broke.

What makes you guys think that black women are not giving broke dudes a chance though? I see more black women trying to build men up, only to have egg on there face & years wasted. The real issue is that building a man is not garnering positive results (i.e. marriage) on a large scale or consistent basis.

Why y'all attacking the messenger?

I ain't say it was right I was just saying it happens more often than not

Not feeling the bank analogy since financial institutions are about money while relationships are supposed to be about personal connection, or at least that's how they're advertised. Logic was there but the comparison is not

Agree with Lovely that black women are more likely to give broke dudes a chance. My comment wasn't about black women, just in general.

My personal take is it's hard as fukk for men especially black men to get jobs and I'll go as far as to say most unemployed men, especially black men would Love to be employed but struggles to find an employer that will give him a chance. If he just some underachiever who wants a woman to take care of him, I 1000% understand women not fukking with him but for the dudes who are doing their best and are just down on their luck, they don't deserve to be incel because the job market don't want them.

 

[Sassy]

I can honestly say I'm confused about this article.

Like...is she saying that a broke dude needs the confidence to pull women or...?

Also, What exactly is a broke person nowadays? Everyone is struggling at the end of the day except the rich.

Not to mention, even if some women do happen to find a well-off dude, it doesn't mean they will treat them decently.

 

[Shadow King]

How is her male friend saying a financially stable woman won't date a less financially stable dude like him "punishing women"?

Scale back on your requirement of your man making 1.5-2x your salary or deal with brothers recognizing what time it is.

 

[Derekjackson2]

Most black women are unhappy because they believe black men are bankrupt in character not financially. Also black women has adopted other cultures practice of marrying for money or dating for money. Black American culture is different because we have faced different circumstances & need to stop trying to like others & just be us.