deal breakers with single parents..

[MikelArteta]

That "love" feeling wore off. They weren't getting the "tingles" anymore.

Marrying for love is a divorce waiting to happen.

what is love?

sadly to many women its just like you mentioned tingles and butterflies, that crap thats only felt in the beginning of a relationship when your just getting to know someone.

marrying for love is a new concept anyways, throughout history people married to draw families closer, arranged marriages etc.

 

[mamba]

That's very true. I think people forget how to communicate, too.

Well, when you're blinded by "love" and the butterflies, you overlook red flags like poor communication, anger management issues, poor coping skills, poor money management, etc.

 

[Desirous]

Well, when you're blinded by "love" and the butterflies, you overlook red flags like poor communication, anger management issues, poor coping skills, poor money management, etc.

Actually, I'm not...I've never been blinded. When I was younger, I have tolerated some shyt because of "love" and hoping that person would "change" but not anymore. I know what I can/cannot put up with...everyone has something about them that will annoy you, but by now, you should know what you can/cannot tolerate.

 

[MikelArteta]

Well, when you're blinded by "love" and the butterflies, you overlook red flags like poor communication, anger management issues, poor coping skills, poor money management, etc.

which is why so many women end up as single mothers.

the dude was horrible, unreliable, a loser beforehand but the sparks, and butterflies "i never felt this way before" clouds thier judgment.

 

[mamba]

Actually, I'm not...I've never been blinded. When I was younger, I have tolerated some shyt because of "love" and hoping that person would "change" but not anymore. I know what I can/cannot put up with...everyone has something about them that will annoy you, but by now, you should know what you can/cannot tolerate.

Well, you're a special case. Most people conveniently ignore the red flags. Once the "love" feeling starts fading, those red flags become more apparent and unbearable.

That's why, when we enter into relationships with people, we've really got to get to know the person fully. I've always been of the belief that, before entering a marriage, you should see how a person reacts in a number of situations. How they deal with stress. How they deal with failure. How they manage people. Etc.

It's the same as when you interview people. They ask you those behavioral interview questions for a reason.

 

[Desirous]

Well, you're a special case. Most people conveniently ignore the red flags. Once the "love" feeling starts fading, those red flags become more apparent and unbearable.

That's why, when we enter into relationships with people, we've really got to get to know the person fully. I've always been of the belief that, before entering a marriage, you should see how a person reacts in a number of situations. How they deal with stress. How they deal with failure. How they manage people. Etc.

It's the same as when you interview people. They ask you those behavioral interview questions for a reason.

I will date someone for up to a year...hell, even more...before the "boyfriend" label. I need to KNOW you to call you my boyfriend....I need to see how you react in certain situations, how you handle yourself after a few drinks, in front of your friends, in front of other women...to me, that's what dating is about...not automatically jumping into a relationship then starting to figure these things out after...I need to know before to determine if you're someone I can be in a relationship with or not.

 

[mamba]

which is why so many women end up as single mothers.

the dude was horrible, unreliable, a loser beforehand but the sparks, and butterflies "i never felt this way before" clouds thier judgment.

Yep. All the red flags were always there. They don't magically appear after the baby pops out and the brokehead dude bounces.

It's only when the butterflies disappear that clarity settles in...

 

[MikelArteta]

Well, you're a special case. Most people conveniently ignore the red flags. Once the "love" feeling starts fading, those red flags become more apparent and unbearable.

That's why, when we enter into relationships with people, we've really got to get to know the person fully. I've always been of the belief that, before entering a marriage, you should see how a person reacts in a number of situations. How they deal with stress. How they deal with failure. How they manage people. Etc.

It's the same as when you interview people. They ask you those behavioral interview questions for a reason.

people go head over heels fast, especially women. I used to be like that in my earlier days, now i won't een get into a "relationship" with a woman after a good 5-6 months of "dating",

and i agree with what your saying, if you never experienced say a lack of money how will she react if you lose your job, your car, your health. You always here stories of dudes losing their job then their wife leaving right after "he cant provide for me anymore"

I remember when i had my ulcer and going through other medical issues a chick i was dealing with at the time "couldnt handle it"

 

[mamba]

I will date someone for up to a year...hell, even more...before the "boyfriend" label. I need to KNOW you to call you my boyfriend....I need to see how you react in certain situations, how you handle yourself after a few drinks, in front of your friends, in front of other women...to me, that's what dating is about...not automatically jumping into a relationship then starting to figure these things out after...I need to know before to determine if you're someone I can be in a relationship with or not.

That's good. Again, you're doing it the right way. But, you're an exception. The norm is the exact opposite of what you've described.

Which is why we have so many single mothers and broken homes. It's an epidemic.

A man/woman can easily wear a mask for a few months of dating.

You certainly wouldn't hire a person before first putting them through a few rounds of interviews, right?

But, people jump into marriages before doing that! Which is crazy.

 

[MikelArteta]

I will date someone for up to a year...hell, even more...before the "boyfriend" label. I need to KNOW you to call you my boyfriend....I need to see how you react in certain situations, how you handle yourself after a few drinks, in front of your friends, in front of other women...to me, that's what dating is about...not automatically jumping into a relationship then starting to figure these things out after...I need to know before to determine if you're someone I can be in a relationship with or not.

i always laugh when i see people on fb just meet someone and a week for a few weeks later in a relationship on facebook, everyone clicking like saying positive comments, then a month or two later that ish being removed

 

[Desirous]

That's good. Again, you're doing it the right way. But, you're an exception. The norm is the exact opposite of what you've described.

Which is why we have so many single mothers and broken homes. It's an epidemic.

A man/woman can easily wear a mask for a few months of dating.

You certainly wouldn't hire a person before first putting them through a few rounds of interviews, right?

But, people jump into marriages before doing that! Which is crazy.

It's always been crazy to me. I think a lot of women are obsessed with the idea of having a label...and having a boyfriend. I'd rather not have a title or be single, than be with someone who isn't a good fit. I don't want a "relationship" or "marriage" but rather I just want to find the right person for me and then the rest will naturally lead to the next steps.

 

[MikelArteta]

That's good. Again, you're doing it the right way. But, you're an exception. The norm is the exact opposite of what you've described.

Which is why we have so many single mothers and broken homes. It's an epidemic.

A man/woman can easily wear a mask for a few months of dating.

You certainly wouldn't hire a person before first putting them through a few rounds of interviews, right?

But, people jump into marriages before doing that! Which is crazy.

in the "honeymoon stage" the first like month-3 everyone is amazing on their best behavior, you wonder how you got so lucky, then once they get comfortable you realize damn that's why she was single.

 

[mamba]

people go head over heels fast, especially women. I used to be like that in my earlier days, now i won't een get into a "relationship" with a woman after a good 5-6 months of "dating",

and i agree with what your saying, if you never experienced say a lack of money how will she react if you lose your job, your car, your health. You always here stories of dudes losing their job then their wife leaving right after "he cant provide for me anymore"

I remember when i had my ulcer and going through other medical issues a chick i was dealing with at the time "couldnt handle it"

Yeah. Never measure a person when everything is going well.

A person's true character shows up when the sh*t hits the fan. When there's struggle and tough decisions have to be made.

 

[Desirous]

i always laugh when i see people on fb just meet someone and a week for a few weeks later in a relationship on facebook, everyone clicking like saying positive comments, then a month or two later that ish being removed

haha me too omg pet peeve.

My own father has jokingly asked if I'm a lesbian or something, cause I don't talk about guys I'm dating with my parents...I always tell them that if/when something is for real for real serious, they will know. I've just become private about my life...even on Coli, I don't over-share too much information...I don't like when people who really don't give a fukk about you are all up in your business/know too much about you...that will always be used against you at some point...so I'm not sure why people set themselves up on fb with the constant relationship status changes...not everyone needs to know you've been through 4-5 women/men this year lol

 

[Desirous]

Yeah. Never measure a person when everything is going well.

A person's true character shows up when the sh*t hits the fan. When there's struggle and tough decisions have to be made.

I'm stealing this and altering it to make it my new BBM status. That is the truth. (And no, you don't get copyright credit lol!)