War is a Bollywood action movie that pits action veteran Hrithik Roshan against rising star Tiger Shroff. The former is the mentor gone rogue, the latter the student who has to track him down and find out why. The result is one hell of an overbloated blockbuster full of ridiculous twists, simple plot establishing flashbacks that last twenty minutes for no reason and the occasional hilariously out-of-place but much required song and dance intermezzo. More important than the over-the-top fukkery that would make any 90s action director envious is the amount of homo-eroticism between the two sweaty muscled up heroes that might seriously surpass Dolph Lundgren and Brandon Lee in Showdown In Little Tokyo. When Roshan makes his entrance (in slow-motion, and for whatever reason covered in sweat and dirt) Tiger stares at him and literally drops his jaw. Later when one of the female colleagues at her own wedding pronounces that Roshan only would have to say so and she would run off with him, Tiger declares that she can get to the back of the line. Since they are the only three people in the room, that very much implies he's the line.
Homo-eroticism, out-of-place songs and unncessarily complicated plot developments aside, the action is a lot of shaky cam stuff but luckily also pretty fun. Of course you have to accept that an infiltration mission means jumping through a window into a room full of armed guards without any weapon, fist fights with unbeatable Super Arabs are perfectly normal and an Arctic icebreaker ship whose mission is to launch a missile at an Indian defense satellite also has two Audi sports cars in its hold for no other reason than to set up a 360 spin drift car chase across the snow while shooting at each other simultaneously... in slow motion. Nothing makes a whole lot of sense except I finally made sense of something else, namely that the Fast & Furious franchise has pretty much become a western take on Bollywood action movies with its endless defiance of physics and logic for the sake of fukkery.