Writing isn't a science. Film criticism isn't a science. There's no formula to it man. I've seen writers go to press screenings and have their feelings immediately. I've seen some shyt on shyt and wait until they really know how they feel and what they want to say. And then there are those who actually do what we do here: they talk it out amongst their peers to figure it out or actually just go with what everyone else is saying because they're human and don't want to be the oddballs. Some film critics are actual film students and talk about it from an educational standpoint. Then you've got some who simply said they wanted to do the entertainment beat so that was the job they got and they like movies and tv so why not get paid to talk about it?
Also, the internet (as a collective) puts a lot more importance on their work and their ratings than they do, which is always the most hilarious thing about it
Cats live and die off Rotten Tomato scores and Metacritic scores but a lot of the people who contribute to that stuff don't see it as that important at all. They feel like they're one voice in a sea of many and they acknowledge they could be wrong. I've heard critics question if someone will look at their words in 10-20 years the way they look at the critics who bashed The Thing in '82.
Bottomline, for the most part, they're just like you man and the minute you realize that, the less all of this shyt will mean to you. The only thing that separates them from the layperson is they get paid to write and most of them are good writers. Other than that?