i don't think men need to take the leap at all tbh... i've only dated one girl that told me to open up more and we broke up for reasons unrelated to that. i honestly don't see a lot of women asking for this compared to men expecting or asking for physical intimacy. and then the women that do ask for it, you're either going to hear about it again in a negative way if you upset her, or its not going to be referenced again. she not helping you through anything. "its not her responsibility" again this is the majority of what I see.
i just don't see alot of women using vulnerability in men as a selling point. the only ones i see are on the internet or speaking on some sort of social media trying to sound nice. and it does sound nice but in reality I know men been in long term relationships and have never cried or shown weakness and they're doing just fine as far as, the girl is not breaking up or leaving him.. now maybe they get into it behind closed doors, idk, but she's not leaving.. compared to women that don't put out and they end up getting nowhere. to say otherwise is essentially admitting that alot of women be full on dating dudes they don't like, which i do believe but that's besides the point.
at the end of the day, i think men would be appreciative for that one woman they can do it around, but to tell men they should be doing it with all women is just going to lead to disappointment and frustration. especially the women that ask you to do it.
I think our exchange is an exact microcosm of what happens in relationships between men and women funny enough. I have genuinely considered an even validated your perspective. I have attempted to make a comparison that you could relate to as a man, to help understand the female perspective. I have offered a middle ground, a way to bridge the gap.
You have dismissed all of it in lieu of thinking what you want to justify what you were going to do and the way you were going to be anyway lol. It is what it is. I think this happens often between men and women though. You will say that all the relationships you see operate perfectly fine without the men ever needing to be vulnerable. But in the next thread, if not you, then countless other male posters will call out the fact that women initiate the vast majority of divorces as a dig to women. Well I’m literally telling you a huge portion of what leads to female dissatisfaction in relationships with men and you dismiss it.
I’ve seen many men consistently operating in relationships where they only consider their own needs. Or, in slightly better situations, they will consider the needs of hers that they feel comfortable satisfying, (for example, financial provision), but ignore the others. They don’t want to be vulnerable because it is, understandably, uncomfortable for them because of the way society trains men. So they will downplay the need, even to their own women who are telling them differently, the importance of his emotional availability, and what it means to her.
No matter how many times she takes the time to explain her perspective and what she needs, he will talk over her, dismiss her, and continue to believe and do things as he wants them to be. He will see, as you did, his physical intimacy needs as valid and paramount, while seeing her emotional intimacy needs as either not really real or not really important. By the time he looks up, he has a dead bed and a wife who does not want to sleep with him. Or, at the seven year mark, when that woman has had enough and is filing for divorce, the man suddenly feels blindsided. Meanwhile, that woman has been telling him she feels neglected and disconnected from him the entire time, he just refused to hear it because acknowledging it would make him have to do work that he feels uncomfortable with.
Of course, this is not the cause of all relationships ending. There are things that women also do that contribute to the downfall of these same relationships. Just focusing on the vulnerability piece in this thread since that is the topic at hand. I think far more men are vulnerable with their wives and girlfriends than you’d think tbh.
