* 911......state your emergency*
clerk: I think josh is dead.
911: do you know the victim?
clerk: joshua stolengold.
911: can you check the victim?.....is he breathing sir?
clerk: wait......he's breathing.
911: you checked his vitals?
clerk: naw.....a bag of lays just fell off his gut so he's breathing.
911: what happened sir?
clerk: he picked a fight with the real life batman.
911: was he shot......stabbed?
clerk: the punch sounded like a 38 going off.
911: where is mr stolengold now.
clerk: sleeping on a bed of lays....the salt and vinegar joints.
911: were sending paramedics.
clerk: bring a neck brace and clean underwear.....josh shyt himself.
911: can you provide any information on mr stolengold?
clerk: he's a pro league elder scrolls player......oh and he has toddler feet.
911: help is on the way.
clerk: i'm about to upload the video.
911: sir that's evidence......police may need that video.
clerk: they will see it online......this is gonna do numbers.