Dating Black men who look great on paper but no chemistry :(
"Has anyone else dated a Black man who was very educated with one of the "big, sexy jobs" (doctor, engineer, lawyer, etc), but there was just no chemistry between y'all? I just had a date with one and he seems interested in me and wants to see me again, but I'm just not really feeling him...not yet at least. I met him on an online dating app, and I just had so many expectations, but when we went out to dinner for our first date (mistake in itself), there was just a lot to be desired. I enjoyed all our text conversations leading up to the date (smiled like a school girl every time he would text me), but when we finally met, I was let down by our interactions. There was no spark, really. I was kind of bored for the most part. He's such a gentleman though and the date was PERFECT as far as him doing everything he was supposed to do. I don't doubt he's the type of guy to take care of you, but idk if I want to pursue a relationship with him.... "
"Girl you better give that man a shot... He could be it. Next thing you know your next 12 boyfriends will be in between job f-bois and unemployed mama's boys... you'll be begging for somebody like him."
^That chick must've been ran through...she knows game
"I can’t continue dating men with whom I feel no chemistry. I feel like I’m wasting my time (because I am). I’ve passed up on some good-on-paper guys. Most recently an attorney, but I don’t regret it because I know the type of connection I’m looking for and it’s not one where I cringe when he tries to kiss me."
"A lot of these types of men think their degrees and/or prestigious jobs is all they need to bring to the table because so many women would get caught up in those things that they don’t even realize a lot of those types of guys are actually boring as hell and/or pompous pricks. I’ve ran into quite a few of these types, the most recently being in December at a holiday party. I matched with him a while back on Tinder, but nothing really popped off I think we exchanged a few messages. Anyway, we chatted up at the holiday party, and he was about as interesting as watching paint dry. Mind you, this is a fine tall chocolate man with an Ivy League MBA and a great career in finance. At this point, I’m about to give up on these types of men because they can be a lost cause. No amount of money or clout can fix a bland ass personality."
"Omg! Your situation sounds similar to mine. Me and this guy met via social media and finally went on a date last weekend. He was such a gentleman, well-dressed and respectful. He currently works in IT for some big company and I know it pays well. He plans on going back to school this summer for his Masters also. The date was cool but I didn’t get the “it” factor from him, though. It was just ehhh and he even offered to get my nails done for me lol.
I was open to going on another date with him UNTIL he told me he moved back in with his mother and has been there ever since he graduated in 2016. I was like ummm, ok? That just turned me completely off and I get he’s doing it to save money at the moment but I can’t date a man who lives at home, sorry. He’s been texting me after our date and I ignored him a few times and have been short with the replies smh. I feel bad but that’s not what I’m looking for. "
"Chemistry is everything! There is something about that instant spark and trusting your instincts. Don't be attracted to players because they are predictable to you. Are you being too picky? Give the unpredictable brotha a chance. Get to know him and feel him out.
If you stay platonic friends or keep in touch with him he could introduce you to the brotha that is the one."
"Yes, this dude approached me nearly 4 years ago and he was so sweet, so respectful, so on and so forth but I was not attracted to him at all. I kept trying to like him but it became a burden, hanging out with him literally felt like a chore. He wasn't boring but I just felt nothing. I felt so bad too because here's a good dude which is honestly and truly rare, never mind being a good Black man (he was Black btw), just a good man is nearly impossible to find, and I can't bring myself to like him. But I'm not gonna settle because that's just gonna grow resentment and it's not fair to him. I'd literally be using him if I settled. I think after 3 years he eventually got the hint that I wasn't interested and kind of disappeared. Haven't heard from him in months. I hope he's okay but I'm not willing to hit him up to find out. :/ "
