Not offended at all. Infact thank you for your response, I appreciate your time and effort. I havent been diagosed with anything (It’s embarassing, I don’t meds and it’s really not anywhere near severe enough) but its the only way I can explain it.
Sometimes I feel really zoned out and numb. It’s almost like I’m in a virtual reality and I’m being controlled. Or on a weird self destructive auto pilot.
My perception of reality isnt too great and I keep having intrusive thoughts.
It can be tricky when it comes to meds. I always advocate for lifestyle management and skills building instead of turning to meds. Sometimes, however, meds are necessary. Some people have physiological issues that can only be corrected with medication (schizophrenia, for example). So there is no shame whatsoever in being wired differently than other individuals.
As far as diagnoses are concerned, all that comes down to just another label. In order to bill insurance companies, a diagnosis must be made to justify treatment. I would encourage scheduling an assessment. With or without any mental or behavioral illness, everyone experiences the type of episodes that you are describing. Especially if there is some sort of traumatic experience involved. What you are describing could ultimately be benign, or it could forebode something potentially problematic if left unchecked.
What is most important are the symptoms/problem behaviors. And you have been able to identify some of those pressing concerns for yourself.
1.) The zoning out episodes: You describe a surreal experience. So when those occur, how are your time and place orientation?? Like, are you self-aware? Do you recognize where you are? And do you understand the environment around you? There is definitely some dissociation going on (according to your description), but the degree to which you feel disconnected makes a drastic difference in terms of interventions. Also, how severe is your loss of control? Do you feel utterly powerless? Or do you recognize an ability to impact your own choice(s)?
2.) You use "self-destructive" as a description. So are there thoughts of self-harm or harm to others? Or do you just mean that you're going full-speed and feel like you cannot stop whatever is happening?
3.) What is the nature of intrusive thoughts that you are having? And are they around the clock? Or is there something in particular that triggers them?
Not tryna psycho-analyze. Just trying to get a gauge of how sever these things are in order to give a more solid recommendation. I'll understand if my questions are too numerous or overwhelming. If nothing else, it never hurts to have an assessment performed. That way, an extensive history can be brought up in order to best inform what may be going on with you.
