Black men, vulnerability and depression.

SunZoo

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It's unnecessarily risky imo

Trust is often misplaced in people

some stuff shouldn't be unloaded on just anybody

Of course some stuff shouldn't be unloaded, but the rewards greatly outweigh the risks in my estimation.

Most of the risk comes down to protecting your ego more than anything. Like I said when you find your center you'll know when it's time to say what, don't just shut down completely out of fear.
 

YeLovesBoston

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Anybody trying to argue this is an idiot. We're not robots, we're humans. We deal with all types of emotions. There is science to that shyt and the only thing that contradicts that fact is societal expectations. Society has a lot of people's emotions whipped in line. Black men deal with so much while being under the pressure of having to be masculine. Black men/boys do feel sadness and can very much be depressed. Why do you think so many men come back from war traumatized? No internet badass can tell them to "man up." There's a lot of depressed nikkas that fukk up these tryhard cats too.
 

Neuromancer

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Me calling out the bullshyt I see on here isn't attacking anyone :hhh:
Nikkas wondering why they can't gather in circles have a good cry together :hhh:
Maybe it's because you retards always project images of yourselves as the height of masculinity anything short of that yall say is bytchmade:hhh:
"brehs, I can't show my emotions or else I get clowned by my homies :sadcam:"
Guess what? THATS toxic masculinity :hhh:
See here's the issue with what you just said. I've never read a masculine text such as the hagakure that says crying isn't masculine. Actually tragic heroes cried all the time. I'm not actually sure what's masculine about not crying.

Big Boys Don't Cry: The changing face of masculinity from Jesus to Michael Fassbender
 

Micky Mikey

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Finally a thread with some substance.

The most neglected individual in society is the black boy. Not only must he jump through leaps and bounds to avoid the cracks that society has already placed ahead of him, but he must also deny his individuality for the sake of "fitting" into a very destructive culture.
As a man and at the age of 29, I am just now starting to engage in real self inquiry. It took a while to break free from the shackles that the larger society and my own community placed on me. Many black men fall into the loophole of carrying on a persona that embodies age old caricatures and stereotypes. From the time he is born and until his death, the black male is conditioned and expected to deny his own humanity and uniqueness as a human being. Many brothers have fallen and died never reaching their true potential as a human being.
Because the conditioning is so hard wired into our society, many black men who deviate from societal norms feel isolated and depressed.
Those whove already fallen in a sunken place express their depression through self harm ( drinking , promiscuous sex, inflicting harm on other black men and women, drugs etc.) others are lucky enough to break free from the gravitational force of this destructive culture and become actualized human beings.

My advice for young black men:
Turn off the television and radio
Spend as much time in silence as possible
Practice mindful meditation
Purge yourself from all negative societal elements
Dont worry so much about friendships and relationships. Find yourself first and then seek out other conscious people to associate yourself with
Practice minimalism
Avoid excessive materialism
Workout everyday
Eat healthy
 
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Ronnie Lott

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One of the hardest things about being a black man are emotions and vulnerabilities. You can't appear weak to anybody other than maybe your mother(even then depending on your mother she might give you the :scust:).

If you show weakness with your boys you'll get clowned or a nikka might try you. If you weak around a female your a weak ass man and not a leader. Black men are in a literal catch 22. We live in a system and country that places centuries of truma on us and we have to deal with it but if we act like nomal human beings with emotions were weak and become food.

Just crazy to me people don't realize the pressure that is placed on black boys from a very young age. The expectation of being the man of the house, protector and provider is given to a lot of us before we're even old enough to understand what being a man is even about. Then most of us grow up with no fathers so we have to figure out how to be a man on our own. With nobody to even listen to us or help guide us through this thing we're up against.

A lot of black men just want understanding and to feel secure just like everbody else. But unfortunately we're not afforded that privilege.

A lot of people simply don't know how to be a man in a society that wasn't meant for us. A lot people have their ideas of what being a man is but the truth is in the black community we don't know.

So let's have a discussion brehs what are some struggle you have as a man?

For me I struggle with anxiety and mild depression. A lot of it stems from just being a kid trying to find his place in harsh environment and looking for acceptance from people I'm just not like. I'm a lot better and doing great for myself because of just being very fortunate in life. I am very lucky to have the opportunities in life and that has made me very happy recently. But I never forget how deep I was last summer in the blackest depression I've ever felt. But I learned a lot from that time. I can honestly say I'm a lot better in life and as a man because of that pain. I really found myself and learned that I have to be me.

So what about y'all?

I'm not shyttin on you at all for being depressed. That's nothing to make fun of at all. But the world is unforgiving. Showing weakness as a man can get you fukked up.
 

TooLazyToMakeUp1

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Out here in my damn drawls
Of course some stuff shouldn't be unloaded, but the rewards greatly outweigh the risks in my estimation.

Most of the risk comes down to protecting your ego more than anything. Like I said when you find your center you'll know when it's time to say what, don't just shut down completely out of fear.

Not sharing isn't the same thing as shutting down and internalizing
 

Uitomy

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Anxiety attacks and sugar cookies
Rejection from women doesnt have the same meaning to me like it used to and I mean rejection in the form of favoritism. Like I have been legit shunned and ghosted on by a lot of girls that want that extra masculine over the top ass nikka and I've had a few situations where the girl gets stuck in their feelings for us and these nikkas will threaten my well being (mind you they getting most of the love and benefits still) and these women still fukk with them yet try to keep me as a friend even tho this person wanted to hurt me. They don't even care that their quick resolution to violence could go to them. At that point I'm not even sad I don't have her I get really depressed because these women's lack of self security and sufficiency at time leads them down a path of self destruction and all I end up seeing in the end............is my own mother:mjcry:. I used to think shyt was so sweet when I was younger but my mom struggled ridiculously but hid it so well. All my friends keep saying I just like picking out ain't shyt girls but I think I may be subconsciously trying to save or help them in the own vein I wanted to help my own mom. All those times she spent crying and freaking out and I had no idea what was going on but knew something was wrong don't leave my mind. It's sad as fukk man, lot of people hurting themselves out here.
 

:-)

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So sorry to hear about your depression. As a chick I know how you feel. I saw my first therapist ever last year and I was placed on pills -- it solved nothing. My depression left when I started praying to Isis. For me it was a change in who I talked to spirit wise. I don't cry everyday anymore, and no longer want to kill myself. Whatever you do, watch the meds. My legs went numb for 3 days. And talking to some random white guy about my issues, it was like talking to a brick wall. The best advice I can give you, is to make sure you at least have one or two friends you can cry to, write down your frustrations and work them out one by one, and in my case, change who or what you pray to. Spirits/gods/goddesses/ancestors are always around listening, you just gotta reach out to them. Good luck to you!
 

audemarzz

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Used to have those days i had to sit alone and shed a few tears no lie

I had a family friend who was going through it . .I seen him on the porch he looked like he had some deep shyt on his mind . .I regret not saying shyt, I was young at that point I didn't have the words I hadn't experienced this shyt so I couldn't say shyt . . he ended up going home and popping pills and died . . .and it kills me cause when we at these funerals everybody wanna bullshyt and say "ohhh all he had to do was talk to me why didn't he/she ask for help" it's bullshyt because these same people knew his circumstances and didn't step in or offer any words of support just judgement and contempt; he lost his job couldn't find work his girl was hounding him . . . don't nobody give a fukk till you dead and thats just a show so they can sit over your casket and bullshyt
 
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