Mixed race relationships remain complex, says VV Brown
V V Brown reflects on the complexity of mixed race relationships and considers her relationship with her own husband
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Black Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay reveals she’s engaged (8/7/17 update: He's a cac)
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Dameon Farrow
Superstar
Yes he is. Anytime the puppet strings come out and this place dances to the same beat for the millionth time to the same tired beat it's always magical to me.
And she wrote a fictional book about swirling released last year.
Swirler novel titled "Real Love"? Hmmm, were all the other titles taken?
Seems like many Black folks who date out are blindsided when their partners are plotting on them. Looked at some recommended YouTube videos she was in for recent comments and in this podcast from a couple weeks ago she was hyped about spending holidays with dude (1 hr 32 min timestamp).
And she wrote a fictional book about swirling released last year.
But she did admit they were having trouble here. Sidenote imagine a breh married to a pawg going on a podcast talking about his relationship while wearing a Spelman sweater (14 min mark). LMAO.
but we always gotta deal with a simp coming in and running defense for this nonsenseeven in this very thread bu bu she pro black
levitate
I love you, you know.
Something about her just makes me… 
She’s cute as hell with her Rihanna forehead…
She’s cute as hell with her Rihanna forehead…
Seems like many Black folks who date out are blindsided when their partners are plotting on them. Looked at some recommended YouTube videos she was in for recent comments and in this podcast from a couple weeks ago she was hyped about spending holidays with dude (1 hr 32 min timestamp).
And she wrote a fictional book about swirling released last year.
But she did admit they were having trouble here. Sidenote imagine a breh married to a pawg going on a podcast talking about his relationship while wearing a Spelman sweater (14 min mark). LMAO.
Publically degrading your white mans sex game,wearing a Morehouse shirt? Shes been signaling and crying out for months
The European doesnt understand theres a spiritual consciencee shift. Most of the black women who are with a white man today,are subconsciously working as the black mans trojan horse. Expect more public humiliation,more exchanges of wealth,steep child support within the next 5 years. Sadly more swirlers will be murdered during this period. Being white and having a black person divorce you is the ultimate ego blow to a white supremacist
DrBanneker
Space is the Place
You right. I need to go to Higher Learning
That’s prolly what did it! She actually talked bout their sex lifePublically degrading your white mans sex game,wearing a Morehouse shirt? Shes been signaling and crying out for months
The European doesnt understand theres a spiritual consciencee shift. Most of the black women who are with a white man today,are subconsciously working as the black mans trojan horse. Expect more public humiliation,more exchanges of wealth,steep child support within the next 5 years. Sadly more swirlers will be murdered during this period. Being white and having a black person divorce you is the ultimate ego blow to a white supremacist
IdiotDameon Farrow
Superstar
I go there to wind down and pump my brain cells back up. There or The Film Room. I actually am on the lookout for something nice to binge.You right. I need to go to Higher Learning
capt_saveahoe
All Star
being white alone makes it dating up. There was a paper published awhile ago titled economics of dating or something of that nature. The paper pretty much concluded that a black man has to make around $300k to have the same dating success as an average white man making $60k.
Someone on Reddit summarized her dating history before going on the Bachelor which she detailed in her book. Basically she was chasing NFL players for 10 years hoping they would propose when they wouldn't even call her their GF and they had sidebabies on her. She was even financailly supporting a former player after he got cut. All this happened while she was in law school and working as an attorney.
regarding her time with bachelor nation, readers know she barely mentions bryan and focuses more on the racism and backlash she faced in front of and behind the cameras.
however, you may not know about rachel's relationship history prior to getting on the show. see, rachel didn't know her worth at all.
she had a type: charming, tall Black male athletes.
before the bachelor, she was a successful attorney making six figures in dallas, with her own house and luxury car. she had a lovely family and had an active social life, often going out to comingle with friends.
the rachel we saw on camera who told demario to "get the fµck out" for the drama he brought to her season is far from who she was in her dating life.
--
in the memoir, rachel details a years long relationship with a football player called rick. he was charming, talented, popular, and attractive. he was in the social and cultural milieu that rachel coveted. he never asked her to be his girlfriend and she fooled herself into believing she was his only girl (her characterization, not mine).
a year into their situationship with rick, he began badgering her to double-check birth control.
“My feminine intuition said, Girl, he had a pregnancy scare with someone else. Or an STD. Or both. And my infatuation said, You hush now.”
months later, a friend revealed that indeed, rick had had a baby with his ex-girlfriend. when rachel confronted him, he convinced her that it was while they were on a break - so rachel took him back:
“How could this dog keep this pregnancy from you became Wow, Rick cares for you so much, imagine how hard it was for him to not tell you the truth! He figured it’d be so much easier to keep it a secret and didn’t realize how problematic that was. Rick loves you so much he didn’t want to tell you the truth and hurt you.”
rick went to the nfl and rachel moved to wisconsin to attend law school at marquette - and she stayed with him! eventually, the mother of rick's baby calls rachel to confront her about whether she's sleeping with rick - and they get into an argument. rick had been lying to both women to prevent being put on child support.
at some point rachel reads a letter to rick, begging him to be her boyfriend - officially:
“I need to know if this is real and how you feel about me,” I sobbed as I read. “If you want me the same way I want you, can we just put a title on this? I have to know where this is going.” Rick sat emotionless. Then he did what he always had throughout our relationship through my graduating college, doing a summer internship with the NBA in NYC, and even starting law school in Wisconsin in 2008. Rick said he cared for me. Even that he loved me. But he refused to assure me that we were in a monogamous relationship, never mind had a future together.”
in 2009, rick ghosted rachel. she was shocked but eventually moved on. they ended up letting bygones by bygones after she ran into him at a club (lol). he apologized and admitted his own cowardice. and rachel readily forgave him.
--
she moved on to an an insecure, possessive athlete named jeff. she dated him for two years. he was intensely jealous and forced rachel to end a friendship with a guy who was essentially like a brother to her.
“Jeff not only pressured me to call Isaiah and end our friendship, he insisted that I do it in front of him. We argued and argued until I grew exhausted and caved. I remember throwing up my hands and reaching for my phone, all the while thinking, Rachel, why are you doing this? This isn’t going to work. Instead of breaking off your friendship with Isaiah, you should be breaking up with Jeff!”
jeff would have emotional outbursts and accuse rachel of cheating at the drop of a hat. but she had decided that she would date him for the companionship until she completed law school. she'd rather be unhappy with him then unhappy alone.
--
however, you may not know about rachel's relationship history prior to getting on the show. see, rachel didn't know her worth at all.
she had a type: charming, tall Black male athletes.
before the bachelor, she was a successful attorney making six figures in dallas, with her own house and luxury car. she had a lovely family and had an active social life, often going out to comingle with friends.
the rachel we saw on camera who told demario to "get the fµck out" for the drama he brought to her season is far from who she was in her dating life.
--
in the memoir, rachel details a years long relationship with a football player called rick. he was charming, talented, popular, and attractive. he was in the social and cultural milieu that rachel coveted. he never asked her to be his girlfriend and she fooled herself into believing she was his only girl (her characterization, not mine).
a year into their situationship with rick, he began badgering her to double-check birth control.
“My feminine intuition said, Girl, he had a pregnancy scare with someone else. Or an STD. Or both. And my infatuation said, You hush now.”
months later, a friend revealed that indeed, rick had had a baby with his ex-girlfriend. when rachel confronted him, he convinced her that it was while they were on a break - so rachel took him back:
“How could this dog keep this pregnancy from you became Wow, Rick cares for you so much, imagine how hard it was for him to not tell you the truth! He figured it’d be so much easier to keep it a secret and didn’t realize how problematic that was. Rick loves you so much he didn’t want to tell you the truth and hurt you.”
rick went to the nfl and rachel moved to wisconsin to attend law school at marquette - and she stayed with him! eventually, the mother of rick's baby calls rachel to confront her about whether she's sleeping with rick - and they get into an argument. rick had been lying to both women to prevent being put on child support.
at some point rachel reads a letter to rick, begging him to be her boyfriend - officially:
“I need to know if this is real and how you feel about me,” I sobbed as I read. “If you want me the same way I want you, can we just put a title on this? I have to know where this is going.” Rick sat emotionless. Then he did what he always had throughout our relationship through my graduating college, doing a summer internship with the NBA in NYC, and even starting law school in Wisconsin in 2008. Rick said he cared for me. Even that he loved me. But he refused to assure me that we were in a monogamous relationship, never mind had a future together.”
in 2009, rick ghosted rachel. she was shocked but eventually moved on. they ended up letting bygones by bygones after she ran into him at a club (lol). he apologized and admitted his own cowardice. and rachel readily forgave him.
--
she moved on to an an insecure, possessive athlete named jeff. she dated him for two years. he was intensely jealous and forced rachel to end a friendship with a guy who was essentially like a brother to her.
“Jeff not only pressured me to call Isaiah and end our friendship, he insisted that I do it in front of him. We argued and argued until I grew exhausted and caved. I remember throwing up my hands and reaching for my phone, all the while thinking, Rachel, why are you doing this? This isn’t going to work. Instead of breaking off your friendship with Isaiah, you should be breaking up with Jeff!”
jeff would have emotional outbursts and accuse rachel of cheating at the drop of a hat. but she had decided that she would date him for the companionship until she completed law school. she'd rather be unhappy with him then unhappy alone.
--
her next boyfriend? a charming, attractive, NFL recruit named Ed. at the time that they met, ed was going through some things.
he had a pregnant ex-fiancee. injuries took him out of the NFL, leading to a foreclosure on his home and no health insurance. he had a two year old with a different woman. but he was open, honest, charming, and funny. they began talking all the time and rachel eventually admitted to her parents that they were together - she had never introduced a boyfriend to her parents before. and, they liked him!
90 days later, ed showed his true colors.
they went out to a club for a friend's birthday celebration. ed got wasted and started a fight with his best friend who was trying to help rachel order drinks at the bar. as in they came to physical blows, getting everyone kicked out of the club. in the car on the way home, rachel was embarrassed but began to make excuses for ed's drunken behavior and excessive drinking in general. he broke down and said he didn't deserve to be with her: jobless, directionless, absentee father. but rachel wanted to stay.
“ I romanticized my savior role in Ed’s life, pledging to stand by him through this dark period.”
for five years she spun her wheels with ed, fully embracing a dysfunctional, asymmetrical relationship. she was his therapist, organizer, planner, academic support, and personal financier. she did his homework and paid his bills. he lived in austin while she lived in dallas, but she frequently went to visit him. he rarely took her out and accepted a job offer 200 miles away even after promising to move to dallas.
two years in, she discovered he was texting other women. he denied it naturally, but rachel became deeply insecure and more resentful. she was tired of waiting and wanted a ring. after bickering about it, they agreed to break up but never stopped talking and were back together by the summer of 2015.
--
still frustrated by the elusive ring and promises for the future, rachel began to have an affair with an "obama-esque" attorney in houston. he tried to convince her to leave ed, but rachel refused, convinced that their issues were temporary. delulu! she states that the affair fulfilled her love language: quality time.
eventually she ends the affair, but nothing is moving forward with ed. she begins an emotional affair with a DJ (lol) and ed demands she stop speaking to him. eventually, ed sees on social media that she went to the DJ's show (again, lol) and they break up. but after a month, they start speaking again. around and around the dysfunctional merry-go-round, rachel continuously begging for a ring that ed has no intentions of giving her.
finally, one night a woman from ed's phone calls her. ed is in houston, sitting in jail with a DUI. when rachel questions him about the woman, he says she's just a colleague. thanksgiving, christmas, and new year's pass without ed spending time with rachel. valentine's day passes without their normal tradition of him buying her a classic disney dvd released from the vault. finally, finally, after a tense phone call in which ed remains silent when rachel asks if he wants to be with her, she breaks up with him.
she spends interceding months club hopping, dating random guys, and eventually adopts copper.
of course, by june, ed wants to get back together and rachel takes him in. she begins therapy to try to convince ed to commit to her.
therapy became the key to release rachel's chains and feckless attachment to ed. she realized that she should have never been with him.
“I entered therapy for the wrong reasons and came out with the right answers. I went to save a relationship with a man and ended up saving myself.”
around this time, rachel's coworkers convince her to go to a bachelor audition. as we all know, she gets cast on nick viall's season.
at the same time, she never fully cuts ed off and even hosts him in houston, spending the night together and rekindling the flame. by the fall, ed has gone back to essentially ghosting rachel, never reaching out unless she called him first.
so when she received the contract for the bachelor in september, she decided to sign it, while secretly hoping ed would propose instead.
“I don’t think I’m going to fall in love, never mind get married.” I’ll turn it down if you tell me you want to give us another try. The pathetic thing is that I didn’t even need Ed to say he wanted to be with me. I was hungry for the tiniest crumb he would throw my way.
He couldn’t even give me that. “Okay, don’t mention my name.” Five years summed up in five words. I had been looking for someone to tell me not to go on the show, and the person I wanted most to say no dispatched me in five words”.
After a heated text conversation in which ed makes nasty accusations and casts aspersions on rachel's character for considering going on the show, she admits that if ed had told her he wanted a commitment, she wouldn't have gone.
and then rachel goes on reality tv, gets the first impression rose, makes it to final 3 and became the first black bachelorette.
he had a pregnant ex-fiancee. injuries took him out of the NFL, leading to a foreclosure on his home and no health insurance. he had a two year old with a different woman. but he was open, honest, charming, and funny. they began talking all the time and rachel eventually admitted to her parents that they were together - she had never introduced a boyfriend to her parents before. and, they liked him!
90 days later, ed showed his true colors.
they went out to a club for a friend's birthday celebration. ed got wasted and started a fight with his best friend who was trying to help rachel order drinks at the bar. as in they came to physical blows, getting everyone kicked out of the club. in the car on the way home, rachel was embarrassed but began to make excuses for ed's drunken behavior and excessive drinking in general. he broke down and said he didn't deserve to be with her: jobless, directionless, absentee father. but rachel wanted to stay.
“ I romanticized my savior role in Ed’s life, pledging to stand by him through this dark period.”
for five years she spun her wheels with ed, fully embracing a dysfunctional, asymmetrical relationship. she was his therapist, organizer, planner, academic support, and personal financier. she did his homework and paid his bills. he lived in austin while she lived in dallas, but she frequently went to visit him. he rarely took her out and accepted a job offer 200 miles away even after promising to move to dallas.
two years in, she discovered he was texting other women. he denied it naturally, but rachel became deeply insecure and more resentful. she was tired of waiting and wanted a ring. after bickering about it, they agreed to break up but never stopped talking and were back together by the summer of 2015.
--
still frustrated by the elusive ring and promises for the future, rachel began to have an affair with an "obama-esque" attorney in houston. he tried to convince her to leave ed, but rachel refused, convinced that their issues were temporary. delulu! she states that the affair fulfilled her love language: quality time.
eventually she ends the affair, but nothing is moving forward with ed. she begins an emotional affair with a DJ (lol) and ed demands she stop speaking to him. eventually, ed sees on social media that she went to the DJ's show (again, lol) and they break up. but after a month, they start speaking again. around and around the dysfunctional merry-go-round, rachel continuously begging for a ring that ed has no intentions of giving her.
finally, one night a woman from ed's phone calls her. ed is in houston, sitting in jail with a DUI. when rachel questions him about the woman, he says she's just a colleague. thanksgiving, christmas, and new year's pass without ed spending time with rachel. valentine's day passes without their normal tradition of him buying her a classic disney dvd released from the vault. finally, finally, after a tense phone call in which ed remains silent when rachel asks if he wants to be with her, she breaks up with him.
she spends interceding months club hopping, dating random guys, and eventually adopts copper.
of course, by june, ed wants to get back together and rachel takes him in. she begins therapy to try to convince ed to commit to her.
therapy became the key to release rachel's chains and feckless attachment to ed. she realized that she should have never been with him.
“I entered therapy for the wrong reasons and came out with the right answers. I went to save a relationship with a man and ended up saving myself.”
around this time, rachel's coworkers convince her to go to a bachelor audition. as we all know, she gets cast on nick viall's season.
at the same time, she never fully cuts ed off and even hosts him in houston, spending the night together and rekindling the flame. by the fall, ed has gone back to essentially ghosting rachel, never reaching out unless she called him first.
so when she received the contract for the bachelor in september, she decided to sign it, while secretly hoping ed would propose instead.
“I don’t think I’m going to fall in love, never mind get married.” I’ll turn it down if you tell me you want to give us another try. The pathetic thing is that I didn’t even need Ed to say he wanted to be with me. I was hungry for the tiniest crumb he would throw my way.
He couldn’t even give me that. “Okay, don’t mention my name.” Five years summed up in five words. I had been looking for someone to tell me not to go on the show, and the person I wanted most to say no dispatched me in five words”.
After a heated text conversation in which ed makes nasty accusations and casts aspersions on rachel's character for considering going on the show, she admits that if ed had told her he wanted a commitment, she wouldn't have gone.
and then rachel goes on reality tv, gets the first impression rose, makes it to final 3 and became the first black bachelorette.
