Being single with no kids is pretty much living life in a cheat code.

[BlackBall]

Yes it is

 

[Diyhai]

I disagree.

The problem with this thread and your post is the assumption that everyone happiness derives from the same place.

I don't have children and am financially independent. Being able to buy the suit I want when I want, watch what I want on TV, eat out when I want, aren't perks I give a fukk about. It is hollow.

The times when I have been happiest in recent years is when I have been away with my family that includes neices, nephews and younger cousins.

having nieces and nephews is way different than having kids
I took care of my nieces and nephews for days at times
still don't have kids
I could only imagine what taking care of kids everyday is like
when I'm watching my nephews there is light at the end of the tunnel
I know I can do what i want after I finish watching them

 

[Mowgli]

Make sure you pay for a nice insurance plan so the nurses at the hospital can take care of you when you start falling apart because it won't be your non existent family

 

[Swiggy]

You get a better perspective on being single after being in a relationship. When you worry about more than one person, and that shyt becomes a fraction after a split? That's like getting a significant raise and cheaper utilities.

 

[Umoja]

having nieces and nephews is way different than having kids
I took care of my nieces and nephews for days at times
still don't have kids
I could only imagine what taking care of kids everyday is like
when I'm watching my nephews there is light at the end of the tunnel
I know I can do what i want after I finish watching them

Did I say being a parent was easy? Did I bring up nieces and nephews to show that it was light work?

They were brought up to show the things that make me sincerely happy in this life. This is the point I don't think is focused on enough in the world. We're convinced that materialistic things make us happy but when you sit down and measure things there's not much change.

Being able to eat at restaurants when I want, by a big screen TV with surround sound doesn't bring me much happiness. And when you reflect on things, why should it?

 

[Diyhai]

Did I say being a parent was easy? Did I bring up nieces and nephews to show that it was light work?

They were brought up to show the things that make me sincerely happy in this life. This is the point I don't think is focused on enough in the world. We're convinced that materialistic things make us happy but when you sit down and measure things there's not much change.

Being able to eat at restaurants when I want, by a big screen TV with surround sound doesn't bring me much happiness. And when you reflect on things, why should it?

it disconnects from his point
you can do all the things you mentioned in that previous post while being single and childless

 

[Dave24]

Make sure you pay for a nice insurance plan so the nurses at the hospital can take care of you when you start falling apart because it won't be your non existent family

Whole life insurance or term life?

 

[Mowgli]

Whole life insurance or term life?

Something that allows you to lay in a hospital bed on a morphine drip for years waiting to die or until your money runs out. Whichever comes first.

 

[the bossman]

The only people mad at this are:
A. People who already have kids and hate being reminded of how others are living it up on their own pace.
B. People who actually have no idea of just how much space a child will occupy in your life.

Once you have a child, what you want and think is irrelevant. Your life until that child is an adult is 100% for them. That big screen 8K OLED you bought with the Dolby Atmos surround sound will be playing the same Disney show over and over again or will be running roblox or minecraft. Anything of value in your home is breakable and at least one of them will be damaged by your child.

Going out to eat? well you better have a babysitter or someone willing to look after your kid. Even going out in public, be prepared to manage a tantrum from an easily distracted child who wants something. That money you were saving for a nice suit? that shyt going to your kids wardrobe which will change drastically every year as they grow. That sportscar that you bought? better sell that shyt and buy an SUV. Your life as you knew it is OVER. And you better pray to the most high that pregnancy won't torpedo your baby mama's body like it does many other women.

Kids ain't for everyone and you better be prepared for what is coming. If you aren't you'll end up resenting your child like so many people who have kids before they're ready experience. Enough adults here raised by parents who had kids because others told them to or because it was unplanned. Get all the shyt you want to do out of your system because if you don't, you'll experience a feeling of "I fukked up" when you see your childless friends going on vacations, hugged up with different baddies, flexing at vegas, going to concerts and all sorts of shyt. Until I've gone where I want to go, messed around with who I wanna mess around with, and otherwise done all the shyt I wanna do and have those memories, I'm not even thinking about kids.

this binary type thinking sound weird when you look at reality. Like everything must be an either or. as if a nikka can't have more than one TV in the house? you can't teach your kid how to behave in public? there's no nikkas with kids that also have nice suits? this whole 'life stops' 'life is finished' mentality once you have kids sounds weird. It definitely won't be the same lifestyle as before. It'll be different and if you've put the work in to have a solid foundation, you can still be happy.

 

[semicko82]

Having kids without financial stability is basically crash test dummy status

 

[Diyhai]

this binary type thinking sound weird when you look at reality. Like everything must be an either or. as if a nikka can't have more than one TV in the house? you can't teach your kid how to behave in public? there's no nikkas with kids that also have nice suits? this whole 'life stops' 'life is finished' mentality once you have kids sounds weird. It definitely won't be the same lifestyle as before. It'll be different and if you've put the work in to have a solid foundation, you can still be happy.

I think his point is the responsibility, sacrifice, compromise that comes with it
if you actually what to be a good parent and heavily involved in your children's lives
a certain type of lifestyle is finished if you want to be a responsible parent

 

[Scustin Bieburr]

I think his point is the responsibility, sacrifice, compromise that comes with it
if you actually what to be a good parent and heavily involved in your children's lives
a certain type of lifestyle is finished if you want to be a responsible parent

Exactly. The way you move will have to change. You can't just do what you want without considering your child or partners feelings(unless you're genuinely trash as a human being). The way you spend, the way you talk, the way you spend your time, all of it will require you to consider your child and the co parent of that child. Your relationships with your friends, everything will have to fit around the needs of your child and your spouse because they will have to come first.

A depressing number of people don't understand this before they have kids and they end up neglecting and abusing their children and spouses.

 

[the bossman]

Exactly. The way you move will have to change. You can't just do what you want without considering your child or partners feelings(unless you're genuinely trash as a human being). The way you spend, the way you talk, the way you spend your time, all of it will require you to consider your child and the co parent of that child. Your relationships with your friends, everything will have to fit around the needs of your child and your spouse because they will have to come first.

A depressing number of people don't understand this before they have kids and they end up neglecting and abusing their children and spouses.

I see what you're saying now. Family planning is an absolute must or you can easily end up miserable. Sometimes I see cats argue as if you can't have any type of social life anymore once you have kids which I disagree. I'm bout to fly to Cali for the weekend with one of my partnas who got a wife and 2 kids. this is our 3rd fellas trip this year. he still got the same benz (his wife got the soccer mom SUV) from when he was single, and multiple TVs in his house. dumbass still loves to blow money at the strip club . He was even able to hit the pharrell concert with us in DC this past Summer.

Now he definitely can't hit the bar at a whim if I call him up same day, like when he was single, but give him a couple days heads up and he's normally able to arrange things with his lady to be home with the kids. Then of course there's times when he's on daddy duty all weekend. As far as the trips, we just gotta plan out 2-3 months in advance.

If he didn't have a solid well-paying career and a reasonable wife who sees eye to eye on maintaining a social life with friends outside of family then he probably wouldn't be able to live that lifestyle. all in all. shyt has changed for him over the years, but not to the point of "life being over". Mostly, like you said now he's having to take family's well being into consideration before making certain moves was the biggest change.

So to me seems like keys are - have your financials in order, know yourself, know what you want in life as far as family and lifestyle, and find a partner who's in agreement with that and yall do yall thing.

 

[TheKongoEmpire]

It’s like your worries are about 75% less compared to the average married breh with kids.
My disposable income is insane, I don’t have to worry about any mouths to feed, can take any job anywhere around the world and leave just like that.

When it comes to females, I’m sure i don’t have tell y’all what it’s like for a single man with his own place and no kids.

People see me all the time and wonder why I look so young for my age (35) and even though black don’t crack, I also think another reason is that it’s basically a stress free life for the most part.
I feel like I’m living life using a cheat code and long may it continue

Co-sign. I'm 33 & work HVAC in FL and know I can get a job whenever I want. I got 5-digits in the bank which may not be much for you ballers built it's enough for me. A '98 Rav4 (no car note obv) that's built to last. I'm not working now due to school (NEED to finish this mech. eng. deg.) but with the savings I have, I don't have any worries. The only reason why I'm still in the country (#PassportBros ) is due to passport renewal/name change but once it's arrives, I'm out. Don't get me wrong—as a pan-Afrikan, I want the pro-black dream: a swole wif(ves), children (mostly boys) and land to call to my own to teach the next generation about the past generations but often more than not, life has other plans.

 

[TheKongoEmpire]

I’m 30 and I just ended a year and a half relationship. Being single is more enjoyable to me than being in a relationship. I thought I wanted one, but I don’t - and I think that’s okay. I don’t trip about finding a soul mate. The one I was with wasn’t right and I don’t want a relationship.

Everyone is different.

Are you still single?