Looking back when I was very young I had an amazing support system in New York My father was a true provider who had me in Catholic school ( school was expensive you had to pay by the week), paid the bills, would fix things, my mother didn't have to work, also in addition to that my mom's mother my grandma lived nearby and she helped a lot, my dad's father my grandfather wasn't in his prime per say but man was strong and would cook and take care of things too, my aunt my Dad's sister had a daughter older than me who was like a big sister I would be over there a lot and from there was my introduction to being a Christian, I also had a uncle and looking back he was a bum he never learned to read and was addicted to crack but when he was good he was great watching my and my little sister and everything like I remember once my mom was sick he came fed us , did my sister hair, cleaned the kitchen, gave us baths, and had time to tell us baby stories
Four months after I turned five my father passed away and looking back along with him dying pieces of everyone including myself
Two years after he died what felt strong got week my grandfather got depressed and health fell( thought he would live until his 90's he died eight years later) he later moved to Florida and later My mother, sister, and I did from there it was little things that over time changed my life
I found out recently that the money my father gave her on some in case he died shyt lasted through my highschool years paying our rent, buying our food , and so much but growing up it took a lot for me to even ask her for help so I would go with out a lot things made me bitter and I feel capped me in many ways against many things if I wanted to do a sport team she took her sweetest time to sign the waviers
Another thing i think about a lot is how I watched my Aunt raise her daughter and never ever bring a guy to the place while my mother dated a man who I didn't find out until much much later sexually abused my sister I had moved back to New York as a teen to give getting into a boarding school a chance came back to Florida went into my sister's room to talk to her and noticed a cut out section of the carpet didn't get answers until later that evening
To run the what if game hurts a lot but the idea that in the expanse that is space there's a universe where everything went right and all my people still alive and that hurts so much more
We don't care. This thread is about parental neglect.
