Anybody ever felt their parent held them back?

hostsamurai

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Yes, I was rigged to fail. I learned absolutely nothing, no work ethic, no discipline, no skills or languages nothing. Just ignorance and a very short leash. Not even taking an interest and getting to know your kids. That and narcissism is a family issue. Although while my parents fail as parents they did alright with food and giving me £20 a week in school. Although don't mistake me, I hate the "not as bad as" argument, if I had the skills and techniques I know now at 15-16 my life would be dramatically different.

Don't have African parents.
 

ABlackMan

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Yep. And the older I get, the more I hate my mother for it everyday.

I sacrificed a lot staying at home to help her as a single mom when I should have been out pursuing my dreams and following my heart. So many opportunities passed me by because she guilt tripped me into not doing what I wanted to do. I’d be so much further if my dad was around and didn’t live four hours ago.
Don’t blame her for tricking you. Blame you for falling for it
 

TheDarkCloud

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Don’t blame her for tricking you. Blame you for falling for it

I was like 17-18. Lol. And I didn’t have no one else around to steer me correctly.

The problem is that I was fresh out of high school and young, so I thought I was obligated to help my mom out and make sacrifices for her. It wasn’t until I got older until I realized how she completely manipulated that situation because she didn’t feel “I was ready” to go away. Which was bullshyt.
 

TheDarkCloud

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I don't want to make this into a gender war thread, but I always wonder when people say they hate their parents (save for people in abusive households). Why do you hate your mother and don't have these same feelings for your father? You said he only lived four hours away, he could have come and gave you the guidance you sought as a man. You made the sacrifices he should have made, yet you're mad at her?.

Oh, I definitely resent him too. He wasn’t absentee or anything but he definitely could have been a lot more involved. Even today, he says that he thinks if he had been around more, I’d probably be a lot further than where I am today. He calls that one of his biggest regrets. Which I call bullshyt but w/e.

The thing is though, I kinda am more lenient towards him because he’s more willing to acknowledge where he fukked up than she is. Her whole thing is “well, that was your choice. You can’t blame nobody for your choices but you.” Whereas my dad is like “I really should have done more.”
 

Kidd Dibiase

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Last year i found out i couldve developed way faster than i have

I was in the accelerated program. Skipped the 1st grade.

Me, my brother and my mother was talking to my nephew because his grades have been slipping.

My brother mentioned me skipping the first grade, then said the school tried to skip me up a grade each following year til 5th grade but my mother kept telling them not to.

I was like :dwillhuh: Ma what is he talking about?

My brother::patrice: you didnt know they kept asking to skip you ahead?

Me: :dwillhuh: NO! The fu...MA?

My mother: :merchant: yeah its true.

Me: :gucci:WHY?!?!

Her: I wanted you to get some social skills with kids your age

Me::gucci::snoop:


Now i could see that in 2nd and 3rd grade but after that i feel in the 4th grade I should’ve been apart of this decision making
 
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ABlackMan

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I was like 17-18. Lol. And I didn’t have no one else around to steer me correctly.

The problem is that I was fresh out of high school and young, so I thought I was obligated to help my mom out and make sacrifices for her. It wasn’t until I got older until I realized how she completely manipulated that situation because she didn’t feel “I was ready” to go away. Which was bullshyt.
I remember graduating six years ago, and having a self-choice of staying home or leaving for college. I stayed so my mom wouldn’t have to be in deeper debt. Today I wish I had gone but what’s done is done man. What you saying should ring other bells with readers, as for me it raises the discussion of how black youth is raised to save the day.
 

KplusK

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I remember graduating six years ago, and having a self-choice of staying home or leaving for college. I stayed so my mom wouldn’t have to be in deeper debt. Today I wish I had gone but what’s done is done man. What you saying should ring other bells with readers, as for me it raises the discussion of how black youth is raised to save the day.

She never said to you dont stay go off and live life
 

Booker T Garvey

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My father absolutely ruined my baseball career

He’d always try to adjust my swing when all these white coaches and scouts around said it was great and I had a quick bat. It was just never “right” to him.

Come to find out later he was hating bc he was never as good as he use to let on - i could’ve played minor league ball easily.
 

TAYLONDO SAMSWORTHY

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The book four agreements touches on this....all of us are victims of lives that are presented to us by our parents....but how long are we going to cry about it before taking control and changing our own lives:yeshrug:


Everyone should read that book. Instant classic full of gems and clarity
 
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