Any brothers on here successfully fought custody and/or child support?

[murksiderock]

I'm not on it, however, the girls' mom is now talking about I'm not sending her enough money and gave me a list of expenses. Last week she was talking about how the child support calculator says I should be sending her more---->which it does, but the child support calculator says I should be sending her 60% of my income....

Dead ass. 60 fukking percent....

She's hinted at putting me on and hasnt done it yet, but the possibility exists any day that she could file that action so I'm bracing against it, because even though I'll fight it, my belief is I won't win it. Now, for my part:

I have an attorney on retainer and we discussed custody and support possibilities several times this summer, last was a month ago. I'm waiting to reconvene with him on this as I'm trying to put some money away first. When we spoke we did the calculator yoo and it came to about 60%....

Thus far, I've only been sending 11% of my gross to her, which I calculated thru 5.5% for each child. Yall be real with me, if you had to put a dollar on it, how much would you send for your children?

The impasse between her and I right now is that she's living beyond her means and is saying "I have to do ____ and ____ for the girls all the time", but she doesn't; she's talking about shyt like her rent and car payments and shyt as expenses she has "for the girls", amongst other things...

And ordinarily I'd definitely send her more money but I'm in the hole for these probation fees I have as well, and I don't live beyond my means, so I'm managing my spending and putting up enough money so I can still breathe, and also do something nice for my youngest's birthday in October. I'm not living beyond my means.....I'm more than willing to pay my attorney to fight this, just holding off until I have a little more, and the discouraging part is if I file the action first (which I should and want to), the court still will likely side to something I don't want both based on the maternal tendencies of court and the domestic violence shyt that kicked this off...

The other wrinkle is I also want shared custody, but I wouldn't be eligible until you expiration of the current temporary order on 05/06/2021, to which she was given temporary custody for a year. In North Carolina shared custody basically disqualifies child support for either side, as explained previously by my attorney, as "shared" legally means you share and split all expenses for the children equally since they are virtually equally with both parents. But again, unless she voluntarily submits to shared custody (which she's a no right now), I am under this strict order for the next 8.5 months, so if she filed the action first, she has everything in her favor...

I can elaborate more later on other specifics, this alota typing and I'm watching the game. However, please share if and how you've fought custody and/or support, if it did or didn't work, and tell me how much you feel you should pay for child support voluntarily if you think 11% is too low...

Ladies, feel free to jump in too!

 

[levitate]

Get custody and have her pay you.

 

[blockburna420]

Nope but i did watch this the other day , it was a good hood flick

 

[Yagirlcheatinonus]

I been there child support is calculated differently by states. But basically is what she make and what she pay vs what you make and what you pay. My advice to you add your child to your insurance that’ll be a credit for you which will lower the amount you pay her. If you happen to have to go to court do not go in there without a lawyer. I don’t care how good you communicate don’t go in there without a lawyer. Saving receipts for clothes you buy and all that don’t really matter all they care about is what y’all make and if you or her pay insurance or daycare. Also if she has other kids she can use that against you if it’s not yours basically she gets credit if her income is going to taking care of another child and so do you.

 

[Yagirlcheatinonus]

I was paying 700 for 1 kid for 3 years! after I got joint custody and put her on my insurance I only pay 97 a month.

 

[Imyremeshaw]

I fought for custody for my daughter back in 2011 kinda for some of the same reasons you stated above, it took about 2 years for me to get full physical and legal custody of my kid and I had move from DC to Indiana to obtain custody as courts made that a condition of the change in custody.

After being a full time single parent and paying about $1200 a month child support while fighting for custody, i can honestly state child support ain't shyt compared to having your kid full time, the sick days, extracurricular activities, partying, etc.. is so much more than that $1200 check I use to drop

Like I tell alot my boys that asked how I got custody when my daughters mom aint a crack head or really even that bad of mom compared to most woman who lose custody. I had to be a dog and literally think like a woman, I won the psych evaluation showing the mothers animosity towards me, got incident reports of the mom denying me parenting time( over 50 reports over 2 year period)

It's not easy road to travel, it will be hell and stress on yourself, your baby moms but your kids as well but it's worth if you willing to put in the work, don't hope on your lawyer making the argument, you have to put in at least 60-70% of the work and helping your lawyer make the argument...

 

[Robo Squirrel]

I lost.

 

[The God Poster]

Breh you better kiss ass until the order expire

Seriously tho if what she asking is reasonable (half) then why not pay . If you can afford it & still be straight food & shelter wise .

Try & get shared custody when you can . Unless she a bad mother shared is prob best best .

 

[TRUEST]

Wow. Nightmare.

 

[Chip Skylark]

yes. it took me two years to get joint custody

i never signed the birth certificate that’s because she had her a day before she told me and i had work that night and class in the morning

i had to make her agree to a dna test have the courts put me on child support pay the back support and only have her two weekends in a month for a year

it was a slow and stupid process for real

i had proof she was keeping her from me so that help

the court system is built for a man not to succeed at all

 

[Yagirlcheatinonus]

I fought for custody for my daughter back in 2011 kinda for some of the same reasons you stated above, it took about 2 years for me to get full physical and legal custody of my kid and I had move from DC to Indiana to obtain custody as courts made that a condition of the change in custody.

After being a full time single parent and paying about $1200 a month child support while fighting for custody, i can honestly state child support ain't shyt compared to having your kid full time, the sick days, extracurricular activities, partying, etc.. is so much more than that $1200 check I use to drop

Like I tell alot my boys that asked how I got custody when my daughters mom aint a crack head or really even that bad of mom compared to most woman who lose custody. I had to be a dog and literally think like a woman, I won the psych evaluation showing the mothers animosity towards me, got incident reports of the mom denying me parenting time( over 50 reports over 2 year period)

It's not easy road to travel, it will be hell and stress on yourself, your baby moms but your kids as well but it's worth if you willing to put in the work, don't hope on your lawyer making the argument, you have to put in at least 60-70% of the work and helping your lawyer make the argument...

A lot of women use the kid to get back at the dude.

 

[murksiderock]

I been there child support is calculated differently by states. But basically is what she make and what she pay vs what you make and what you pay. My advice to you add your child to your insurance that’ll be a credit for you which will lower the amount you pay her. If you happen to have to go to court do not go in there without a lawyer. I don’t care how good you communicate don’t go in there without a lawyer. Saving receipts for clothes you buy and all that don’t really matter all they care about is what y’all make and if you or her pay insurance or daycare. Also if she has other kids she can use that against you if it’s not yours basically she gets credit if her income is going to taking care of another child and so do you.

I fought for custody for my daughter back in 2011 kinda for some of the same reasons you stated above, it took about 2 years for me to get full physical and legal custody of my kid and I had move from DC to Indiana to obtain custody as courts made that a condition of the change in custody.

After being a full time single parent and paying about $1200 a month child support while fighting for custody, i can honestly state child support ain't shyt compared to having your kid full time, the sick days, extracurricular activities, partying, etc.. is so much more than that $1200 check I use to drop

Like I tell alot my boys that asked how I got custody when my daughters mom aint a crack head or really even that bad of mom compared to most woman who lose custody. I had to be a dog and literally think like a woman, I won the psych evaluation showing the mothers animosity towards me, got incident reports of the mom denying me parenting time( over 50 reports over 2 year period)

It's not easy road to travel, it will be hell and stress on yourself, your baby moms but your kids as well but it's worth if you willing to put in the work, don't hope on your lawyer making the argument, you have to put in at least 60-70% of the work and helping your lawyer make the argument...

This is encouragement, I appreciate it fellas. I'm definitely in for the fight, I would rather not but mentally I'm preparing myself for it...

•I have an attorney on retainer. I wouldn't dare go in there without an attorney. He previously told me that it's inconsequential whether she or I file first...

I appreciate the advice on putting in the work and helping this attorney argue for me, I'm taking that to heart!

•I was chilling out of work for about 5.5 months, financially I wasn't pressed, but long term I needed to get something again and I started working a month ago. Can't put my girls on my insurance at the new job until open enrollment in October/November. I did consider getting my own health insurance but the work one sounds better and I feel like open enrollment isn't too far away...

•both of her kids are mine. I'm not on my oldest's birth certificate, and I've considered contesting that payment if it goes to court, but that would be petty and I know my daughter is mine, the damn hospital just fukked up (I signed all the birth papers at the hospital, they just somehow missed getting me on the birth certificate)...

•I do want sole custody because although she isn't a bad mother, she struggles and I believe I can provide for and take care of my daughters better than her, but there's the temporary order on me until May, can't get around that without her consent. Even then, according to my attorney, my criminal history + my conviction in this domestic case with her pretty much eliminates a judge favoring custody for me...

So realistically, I have to go for shared custody, which would basically nullify child support as we both would be responsible for expenses equally when the girls are with each parent. I have a feeling she knows this, which is why she's adamant on not amending this temporary order of her as custodial, to shared...

 

[Bigen King]

11% you gettin off easy.

Once she puts on child support you gone wish you worked things out beforehand.

 

[Yagirlcheatinonus]

This is encouragement, I appreciate it fellas. I'm definitely in for the fight, I would rather not but mentally I'm preparing myself for it...

•I have an attorney on retainer. I wouldn't dare go in there without an attorney. He previously told me that it's inconsequential whether she or I file first...

I appreciate the advice on putting in the work and helping this attorney argue for me, I'm taking that to heart!

•I was chilling out of work for about 5.5 months, financially I wasn't pressed, but long term I needed to get something again and I started working a month ago. Can't put my girls on my insurance at the new job until open enrollment in October/November. I did consider getting my own health insurance but the work one sounds better and I feel like open enrollment isn't too far away...

•both of her kids are mine. I'm not on my oldest's birth certificate, and I've considered contesting that payment if it goes to court, but that would be petty and I know my daughter is mine, the damn hospital just fukked up (I signed all the birth papers at the hospital, they just somehow missed getting me on the birth certificate)...

•I do want sole custody because although she isn't a bad mother, she struggles and I believe I can provide for and take care of my daughters better than her, but there's the temporary order on me until May, can't get around that without her consent. Even then, according to my attorney, my criminal history + my conviction in this domestic case with her pretty much eliminates a judge favoring custody for me...

So realistically, I have to go for shared custody, which would basically nullify child support as we both would be responsible for expenses equally when the girls are with each parent. I have a feeling she knows this, which is why she's adamant on not amending this temporary order of her as custodial, to shared...

Well even if you get shared custody it’s still a win because you’re establishing rights of your children through the courts. From here on get a notebook and document each encounter you have with your child’s mother. Write it down and use that in court otherwise it’s your word vs hers. But when you consistently document the courts acknowledge documentation.

 

[murksiderock]

Breh you better kiss ass until the order expire

Seriously tho if what she asking is reasonable (half) then why not pay . If you can afford it & still be straight food & shelter wise .

Try & get shared custody when you can . Unless she a bad mother shared is prob best best .

Half isnt feasible because I have extra probation expenses that I'm trying to have paid off in full by tax time---->got 2 years probation in July and I have three different payments...

But here's the thing, 1)we have a daycare expense that's $1645/month that we dont need, we both have family here, she from here and has a ton of family, and we have flexibility to adjust our work schedules. She not going for it and one of my main counters will be she's asking me to pay for an unneeded expense...

2)she asking for half of shyt she cant even afford, she took a pay cut with the pandemic as well as reduced hours, she cant afford the shyt and while I don't know for sure it would work in my favor, I feel like I could prove she living beyond her means and asking me to pick up the excess. @ArtaXerXes @Yagirlcheatinonus could this counter work in my favor?

I definitely want shared and I am kissing major ass with her right now...

yes. it took me two years to get joint custody

i never signed the birth certificate that’s because she had her a day before she told me and i had work that night and class in the morning

i had to make her agree to a dna test have the courts put me on child support pay the back support and only have her two weekends in a month for a year

it was a slow and stupid process for real

i had proof she was keeping her from me so that help

the court system is built for a man to succeed at all

Yeah I only get the girls two weekends a month since May, after initially not seeing them for 45 days, then she got Covid and gave it to them so until two weeks ago I went another 26 days without seeing them...

She's been slightly flexible in letting me see them when it benefits her, like I normally get them every other F-Su, but she bringing them in the morning so she can work overtime this week...

This domestic case hanging over my head and she leaning on it hard, I basically was convicyed because of priors, because she exaggerated like a muhfukka but I couldn't get it off me and I spent money to get the deal I got. But she leaning on it and that won't help me in court because her story is she traumatized and that qnd my prior aint a good look...

But I know she putting extras and using that to limit my time with the girls, she wants this same setup when the order expires in May...

11% you gettin off easy.

Once she puts on child support you gone wish you worked things out beforehand.

Nah I'm finna up it, since making this thread I've reconsidered that....