Am I missing out in Good Black Women because I dislike weaves?

[ThrobbingHood]

Don't do it OP

After an argument you'll get back to your room and see this on your bed

Spoiler

And you'll get incredibly pissed

Breeh… I was gonna make a thread on this but you can’t have an honest conversation on here about weave/wigs.

The reason I am vehemently against dealing with any women like this is because years ago, I was fooling with this girl in my college. I stayed at Hers.

So in the middle of the night, I go downstairs to get some water. As I go back to the bedroom, I thought I saw a ghost like figure at the bedroom door looking like Cousin Itt from the Addams Family. I scream and go to hit it. The door swings open and I see the girl I was dealing with, with a damn near bald head with a wave cap on top. I scream again.

With the light now on, I notice she hung her weave on the door knob. After that, I said never again. Plus, I like to be able to run my fingers through a woman’s hair. But to some, that’s “c00n talk”.

 

[Dance_Like_A_Fiend]

Am I wrong for thinking it’s kind of girly and gay to be worried about a woman’s hair? As long as she doesn’t look like a fool (side cut, unnaturally colored, Mohawk, etc) and it isn’t something that’s clearly making her upset/insecure it shouldn’t matter, should it?

 

[BobbyWojak]

i'm a woman...and i guarantee you we look and feel better when we have our "thing" right - for some women it's hair, others it's eyebrows, makeup, nails/toes, outfits, body, etc. yall gotta stop equating weaves and extensions to some lack of esteem when it's no more than having your shyt the way you want it.

and that pic does not look anywhere near out of place as an asian with a fro - that's a believable amount of hair worn in a way that women who straighten their own hair wear it. and if you mean natural as in not straightened, that world is full of extensions and weaves too

If everything was fair and right in the world then yes extensions/weaves/wigs are just a style choice but with how prevalent it is among Black women in the US I find it hard to believe it's a coincidence. And that goes for all women, all women are subject to unfair beauty standards set by society/industry but that doesn't mean we shouldn't speak on it, especially when it has to do with our girlfriends/wives and daughters.

But I'm not a woman so my opinion is formed from the outside looking in and biased by my preference for a certain type of 'all natural' or 'conscious' woman.

A variety of styles is nice but some of us prefer a down to earth girl who styles her hair how it naturally grows from her head.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

You’re telling men what they should/shouldn’t like if they think you look better without weave it doesn’t matter if YOU think you look better with it .

A lot of brehs don’t like weave. It is what it is. Men are the consumers of the product you’re selling.

i didn't tell anyone what to like - my first post asked if he'd really pass on ol girl for a weave, the second explained why weave aint that deep. here's a little secret, everything a woman does isn't for a man...if I feel better with a weave, it doesn't matter what YOU think.

 

[YaThreadFloppedB!]

imagine a black man walking around with hair texture like brad pitt or that curry cac from slumdog millionaire…just look at my profile picture for reference

that’s how “off” that shyt looks 9 out of 10 times on black women.


nah nah imagine a barbershop where you walk in and they just gluing these indian type hair textures onto our real hair…the optics is crazy

 

[3rdWorld]

No, you're not missing out..Good women don't wear weaves.

 

[SheWantTheD]

Don’t you go to the gym? I see black women in the gym all the time with no makeup.

You’ll have a better chance meeting in person at the grocery store, through hobbies, running errands etc

The only time most women are getting caked up is if they are going out or got a photo shoot for social media

How old are you OP? Ain’t you almost 40? Better hurry up on them kids!

And were you with this woman when you were living in your car/truck delivering chips or something like that from when I can remember. If so she definitely held you down but her age and you wanting kids is the issue unfortunately.

Weave is another thang tho. There are women that rock natural hairstyles, rock box braids, braids etc

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

If everything was fair and right in the world then yes extensions/weaves/wigs are just a style choice but with how prevalent it is among Black women in the US I find it hard to believe it's a coincidence. And that goes for all women, all women are subject to unfair beauty standards set by society/industry but that doesn't mean we shouldn't speak on it, especially when it has to do with our girlfriends/wives and daughters.

But I'm not a woman so my opinion is formed from the outside looking in and biased by my preference for a certain type of 'all natural' or 'conscious' woman.

A variety of styles is nice but some of us prefer a down to earth girl who styles her hair how it naturally grows from her head.

yall say that, but very rarely (if ever) does anyone post a natural chick without highly manipulated hair - i'm talking product for curl defining, stretching and twisting it to straighten and lengthen it. and this is coming from someone who rocks fully natural to weaved up depending on what look i want...and i know many women who are the same, feels weird to me to pass on a chick, and not put them in the "down to earth bucket" per your last sentence, cuz she has braids or extensions, when 8 months later she might be back to rocking her own hair.

 

[Astroslik]

i didn't tell anyone what to like - my first post asked if he'd really pass on ol girl for a weave, the second explained why weave aint that deep. here's a little secret, everything a woman does isn't for a man...if I feel better with a weave, it doesn't matter what YOU think.

It was implied based off what you said. You feel some type of way that brehs don’t like weave. You even asked why brehs are bothered by it. It doesn’t matter why they are. They don’t like it.

I don’t date (women who wear weave so this issue doesn’t pertain to me. It’s tacky, lowkey disgusting and not something I’m particularly a fan of. Then again my mother nor sisters never wore weave.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

It was implied based off what you said. You feel some type of way that brehs don’t like weave. You even asked why brehs are bothered by it. It doesn’t matter why they are. They don’t like it.

I don’t date (women who wear weave so this issue doesn’t pertain to me. It’s tacky, lowkey disgusting and not something I’m particularly a fan of. Then again my mother nor sisters never wore weave.

it wasn't, breh truly sounds torn over it and i wanted to know if or why he's pass on a tasteful weave...and no, i don't feel some type of way about it. it hasn't been an issue for me when i have a weave and i'm fully aware some men don't like them, this isn't a new revelation or conversation...

and congrats to your mom and sister?

 

[Astroslik]

it wasn't...and no, i don't feel some type of way about it. it hasn't been an issue for me when i have a weave and i'm fully aware some men don't like them, this isn't a new revelation or conversation...

and congrats to your mom and sister?

Well I mean presupposition of this post is that brehs damn near have no choice but to date black women who wear weave since a good amount do. So if a breh prefers black women he’s likely dating a sista with weave. So congrats on mentioning it hasn’t been an issue for you

I bet if you ask the men you dated if they’d prefer you wear natural hair they’d say yes..but .. what do I know. I’m just a black man that dates black women.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

Well I mean presupposition of this post is that brehs damn near have no choice but to date black women who wear weave since a good amount do. So if a breh prefers black women he’s likely dating a sista with weave. So congrats on mentioning it hasn’t been an issue for you

I bet if you ask the men you dated if they’d prefer you wear natural hair they’d say yes..but .. what do I know. I’m just a black man that dates black women.

given i wear my hair a variety of styles, i have asked, and none of them, including the current, gave a fukk. i also have male friends and family who don't care. if she's cool, the sex good, she keeps herself looking good (hygiene, fitness, nice skin), they don't care if/when she adds some hair in (tho a lot care when she chops it off... )

 

[Astroslik]

given i wear my hair a variety of styles, i have asked, and none of them gave a fukk. i also have male friends and family who don't care. if she's cool, the sex good, she keeps herself looking good (hygiene, fitness, nice skin), they don't care if/when she adds some hair in (tho a lot care when she chops it off... )

Well if you bring those aforementioned qualities it’s hard for a breh not to concede

Were talking about the sistas that wear weave rain, sleet or snow (which are a lot). I have some homegirls who I’ve never seen their natural hair after 3+ years of knowing them. It’s damn near a permanent hat on they heads.

 

[BobbyWojak]

yall say that, but very rarely (if ever) does anyone post a natural chick without highly manipulated hair - i'm talking product for curl defining, stretching and twisting it to straighten and lengthen it. and this is coming from someone who rocks fully natural to weaved up depending on what look i want...and i know many women who are the same, feels weird to me to pass on a chick, and not put them in the "down to earth bucket" per your last sentence, cuz she has braids or extensions, when 8 months later she might be back to rocking her own hair.

I agree, the men aren't any better than the women on this, probably worse

There's definitely a stigma against girls with short natural hair but that's a part of her being herself and down to earth. I get it sounds crazy but I think of it like this: Let's say I meet a woman who has a great attitude, we can talk, she's intelligent, funny, ect but I can sense she's insecure about her hair or how she looks. There is no way for me as a man to bring up that I think she should try wearing her natural hair out, its a verbal minefield, I'd do better to just find a woman who is already on the same page as me. Like another user said, it'd be at the back of my mind and that's unfair to her.

I don't mean to judge you at all when I say I find wearing extensions/alt styles for 8 months out of the year to be kinda crazy, I haven't been with a woman who has done that and the women in my family (Haitian) don't either.

edit: most nikkas don't care but some of us do

 

[Savvir]

I ended a 9 year relationship to a a very great woman a few months ago

watch this as if Kevin Samuels isn't talking to women.... he's talking to you