HAHA...last post and I'm gonna make this one count and say what I need to say on this board before I sign out for a long ass time.
Seriously, I read through this thread and laughed, damn near cried (tears of joy), smh'ed a little, and took in some great insights. To be honest, I think about this board when I'm not on here and check it out at the bar. I was thinking that upon my 30th birthday, I had to really take my life in the highest amount of consideration as possible. I see some of you have families of your own, take care of families, have businesses, take care of business, do things for your community and really try to make an impact in your lives and online. A lot of you have lived significant lives of your own and continue to live them. So where does that leave me?
I feel like there have been many times where I felt like I was a hypocrite of sorts because I wasn't...how do I say this? Bout it. You go hard in real life and it makes me question if I took some serious missteps. But life wouldn't be life if we didn't make mistakes...now would it?
Good or bad...or critical...or just haterish...each and everyone of your comments left an impact on my consciousness. Posting here...I learned alot about myself, my history, the world around me...and gave me a newfound and prouder perspective and appreciation for my own individuality and my own identity...not just as a man...or a black man...or a Nigerian...or a West Indian...or as an American but as a person in general. And I appreciate the hell out of y'all for that. Like seriously yo.
From Sohh to the greatness that is the Coli...I wish nothing but the best to each and every one of you. This place helped me out in really tough times and helped me to recognize my own personal strength and wisdom. When I was younger, I was just this wild ass kid that didn't give a f*ck...but now I feel I've matured (not that much or as much as I would of liked to) I've recognized what I mean to the people around me and how they see me. My new stance on life is that to appreciate intellectualism and every concentrated effort for significant personal growth that I can muster in my body.
How wack is it that I do what I do now? I can't and will not let this be my defining moment. Through harsh words come clear thoughts.@spinoza I apologize for being somewhat of a downer...I'm not trying to do that. I realize that...damn...I'm happy to be alive. Enjoying the world. Living life. Seeing the sunrise. Seeing friends, family, co-workers, associates, acquaintance, and other familiar faces. I can't think of any reason why I should be sad right now considering how fortunate I am.
Growing old is weird. But now I've really been able to see myself deep into the future with enough clarity to confidently march forth and put all fear and anxiety to the wayside.
I know I might of had some beef with people...but honestly, the older I get the last thing I want to do is hold any grudges...so I vow to make amends and say peace to you all. Some of y'all got on my nerves...but yo...it's the internet. Nothing offensive.
I have to get my life right...and that's why I have to say peace to the greatness that is the Coli and just focus on getting a better job, getting that paper up, living a stable existence, and being a responsible adult. Straight up and down...I got to do my thing.
I guess...my whole message board routine for almost 10 years was composed around doing nothing...not having a care in the world...just shooting shyt...and not really knowing what I wanted to do with myself. As well as venting...but now I feel like I'm working towards truly fufilling my potential as a person of this planet. You best believe I didn't graduate college to be a bum. LOL.
Now, I've been out of school for 2 years and reality has set in. No more f*cking around. No more being lazy. No more avoiding responsibility. No more being mediocre and pathetic. No more not trying. No more excuses. No more being anxious or scared or frightened of the real world and what it may bring. The future demands brave, bold, intelligent, witty, and powerful people. And I a more than happy to of been able to interact with many of them on this board.
What I've leared about myself from then til now I will never forget. And the sentiments of nothig but good will I extend to you all. And wherever you may go...make sure you do your part to leave your legacy.
I hope I had the same impact on your lives as you had on mine.
Take care and thanks for everything.