The problem is people thinking love is a transaction and it comes from how one is raised. If you only received love respect and/or attention when you do something good. Then you believe love is conditional. In order to recieve love, I have to go above and beyond.
Yall do not not realize that the same things you say about the female is also reflected in the male. The nice guy wants love from a female who does not appreciate him, so he tries to win her love. The girl wants love from a "bad boy" who does not appreciate her, so she tries to win his love.
Because they do not believe love is easy. They've always had to pay and perform for love so if they get it without effort, it does not register as love, but "thirst".
There is also the issue of entitlement. If I give you all this love and attention (though unsolicited), you owe me. Which is not true at all.