Thread went like I thought it would
Not excusing Will but I know the feeling of doing something in the moment and never forgiving yourself
I’ve done things that haunt the fukk out of me and it still plays out on how I do things in my present life
Shame/guilt never goes away
Even with help
I still feel like a demon and unworthy of redemption
A lot of men, specifically black men feel they never have that chance at redemption and suffer in silence
Which leads to more reckless behavior or in my case
Retreating into myself and just giving enough so I don’t hurt anybody
Always trying to do the right thing to escape the fukk up demon that’s on my shoulder of the past
This forum is really not built for men or topics that plague us as a whole
And you nikkas stay lying about being problack
Especially with the comments in this thread
You nikkas are just like dusty bytches in a sense
You never look at the whole picture
Never relate to the stories, journeys and trauma on why we do stupid shyt
We’ve all been a product of an environment where they condition black men to take so much shyt until we explode then we spend years trying to pick up the pieces of said destruction
Two lives were affected
Chris is looked at as a (coward) unrightfully to some
Will is looked at as an angry “thug”
Ironically the same posters that use this label on both of these men
Be the most rah-rah, REAL nikkaS in other threads talking about what would’ve happen
Blah, Blah,Blah
We get it you are The Terminator
To folks who actually not playing a character on here
This whole situation is a case study on how not only the ways our childhood dynamics affect our adulthood and how we respond to each other as men
But it also shows no matter what you do as a black man
You try to be the greatest muthafukka alive with no eras/or blemishes
When shyt goes sideways
That one action makes you a villain for life
While other races of men always get the benefit of doubt/redemption
What Will did is pretty much a no going back to homies situation
That’s something he has to deal with for the rest of his life
As Chris has to deal with that humiliation/some questioning his manhood
It’s just a fukked situation all around
But I hope both find a way to heal their souls
And find a way down the line to be cordial