No, you did not say 'Future ex-wife'
You described me when you said 'You might meet a BW who would be tight that you even entertained Becky'. That is one of my horrors, that, and getting involved with an undercover pedo. Both being equally disturbing/disgusting and a deal-breaker in my book. I have a habit of asking (& stating up front that I won't seriously date/marry a man who's been in an IR) if a potential suitor has seriously dated/married/sexed out - Either they lie or admit it then I lose interest.
However, every black man or woman won't get with the program. It's for the best of BW with some of the things these BM men spew about us. Yes and I'm estactic they don't want BW. Although I do find it very odd that many of the ones who don't want BW, won't keep BW out of their mouths or go on a crusade to persuade other BM to date WW/Other and away from BW.
Just out of curiosity, why do BM in IR relationships look at me - Just yesterday I'm sitting in Starbucks, face in my laptop. Look to my left and there's a BM/Other (White or White Latina). He's looking at me, I look back at my laptop, some time later the same thing - he's looking at me until they called his name for his order. Then, I purposely never look in their direction again. It's never the woman but the guy. No problem b/c I am not the ABW with random Beckies & her BM but I wonder if it's just a coincidence that the BM looks at me. What is he looking at me for???