When’s the last time you had “bubble guts” in an unfortunate situation?

[bogey_j]

lemme share one:

Met this broad who was a customer at my job. Talked that talk to her and she wanted to give ne bunz.

I'm married and she has a live in boyfriend, so she wanted to fukk in the car at a park.

So I meet her at the park, I'm in my car she's in hers. Now this broad daylight, like 3pm.

Before I went my stomach was a lil upset from lunch, so not being a rookie I tried to get myself right before going. I ran and took a shyt and thought I was good to go.

On the way there my stomach started bubbling again, but I'm already on the way, the girl waiting, and maaaan her ass fat. I think i can soldier thru it.

Get there hop in her car and right off the bat she like "what that dikk do". Man I pull my bro out, wrap it up, and she hops on. Broad daylight the car moving around. She riding that pole and I'm throwing it.

Guts just bubbling!

I'm trying focus... but I started losing focus. I just needed to relieve a lil pressure off my stomach. So I think maybe I can squeeze a silent fart out. bad move, it felt wet. I knew it wasnt one them catastrophic blowouts....but lord please dont let it be bad. Im bare ass on this girls seat!!!

She keep going a bit longer and i do too. All a sudden she hop off. Im like "God i hope she dont smell nothing, i don't".

She crawl in the back and throw her legs up. I'm crawling in the back and something drew ne to look at the seat . There's a skid mark from the pits of hell there! I must've made a facial expression or something cause it made her look at the seat.

She said, "WTF!" I Couldn't do nothing but laugh like a scum bag. I zipped up and headed out. Never looked back and got in my car and skirrrrrrrred out that bit.

she never called me again. Bumped into her a time or two but she never spoke to me again...

I'm sorry I asked

 

[Canada Goose]

Yes, on two separate occasions.


Once I couldn't make it home in time and pooped on myself had to walk a few blocks home with diarrhea poop all in my pants, I threw my clothes away once I got home and took a shower.


The other time I pooped in the grass in Central Park, this lady with her dog saw me wiping myself up with some napkins I had in my backpack but it was an emergency, what can you do?


When I walked past her she was just shaking her head.

 

[Flexington]

lemme share one:

Met this broad who was a customer at my job. Talked that talk to her and she wanted to give ne bunz.

I'm married and she has a live in boyfriend, so she wanted to fukk in the car at a park.

So I meet her at the park, I'm in my car she's in hers. Now this broad daylight, like 3pm.

Before I went my stomach was a lil upset from lunch, so not being a rookie I tried to get myself right before going. I ran and took a shyt and thought I was good to go.

On the way there my stomach started bubbling again, but I'm already on the way, the girl waiting, and maaaan her ass fat. I think i can soldier thru it.

Get there hop in her car and right off the bat she like "what that dikk do". Man I pull my bro out, wrap it up, and she hops on. Broad daylight the car moving around. She riding that pole and I'm throwing it.

Guts just bubbling!

I'm trying focus... but I started losing focus. I just needed to relieve a lil pressure off my stomach. So I think maybe I can squeeze a silent fart out. bad move, it felt wet. I knew it wasnt one them catastrophic blowouts....but lord please dont let it be bad. Im bare ass on this girls seat!!!

She keep going a bit longer and i do too. All a sudden she hop off. Im like "God i hope she dont smell nothing, i don't".

She crawl in the back and throw her legs up. I'm crawling in the back and something drew ne to look at the seat . There's a skid mark from the pits of hell there! I must've made a facial expression or something cause it made her look at the seat.

She said, "WTF!" I Couldn't do nothing but laugh like a scum bag. I zipped up and headed out. Never looked back and got in my car and skirrrrrrrred out that bit.

she never called me again. Bumped into her a time or two but she never spoke to me again...

Repped

Alright a promise is a promise (Funny enough mine involves the car too)


This was like a decade back I was working in SoCal on a contract where I had to visit various facilities on-site to assist with telephony/hardware upgrades. I was housed in the Inland Empire/IE, but this particular project was out Panaroma City (about an 80 mile drive). I needed to be there early like 7am.

My young dumb ass went out the night before, had the liquor guts...but figured I'd wake up early enough to handle it deal with it before the drive. I get up at like 4am, deal with the repercussions (so I thought), have a little peanut butter/bread, hydrate & head out. I held up well until a little after Pasadena. And now that it's past 5 the traffic is starting to build. As is the rumbling...but I shrug it off because (looks at GPS) I'm not thaaat far. I got this.



You ever look at your GPS, see the estimated time (let's say 20 mins), drive for about said time...look back at the GPS cause you're still somehow driving and see the estimated time is still 20 mins?




One thing I didn't factor ine was everyone else needing to commute waking up and hopping as I'd get closer, causing more traffic. GPS time just increasing, and your boy was struggling in an unfamiliar area. I'm losing the confidence I had in my ability to make it.

Panicking in the car as 210 traffic is at a stand still - wondering if I got something in there I can just "go in" if it gets bad (like that would even be possible lol). Nope. It was too early for most places w a restroom to be open (it's like 5:30/6am at this point). I think ah McDonalds is always open! Type it into my GPS with a smile, take a detour to the nearest one...sweating and praying for green lights...and clean drawers


You know how your body knows you're getting close to your destination and unconsciously eases up? Well...I'm looking at my GPS and I'm basically there...but I'm in a big ass parking lot. I don't see a McDonalds. Then I looked around and realized In that panic I did click the nearest Mcdonalds...it's just the one in the mall...which was closed!




But it's too late. My body was doing that relaxing thing, thinking we made it. I was like did I really drive all this way to drive back home? Cause if this happens I'm just not showing up there's no buying clothes for this .


Then it hit me...no one is in this parking lot since it's barely 6am...and I don't see security. I'm NOT going on myself. I found napkins in the glove compartment during that panic earlier...guess we going in this parking lot

All that to say. I know I'm on a security camera somewhere out there looking crazy


But I didn't go on myself and made it to my destination on time

(and finished the job there )




edit: shouts out to whoever stepped in that, and to the rain or person that eventually cleaned that up