worst: myself
I was always into dumb shyt with my friends when I was a teenager, crime type shyt, whatever my patnas was down for, I was with it. but when by myself I had my shyt straight. I was motivated, aspirations and expectations of myself real high. Always had EVERYONES best interest in my head and actions. Thought by 25 I would be settled down, married, a kid maybe and a nice house with a nice job. Smoked a lil weed here and there, but never drank. Always hated how drunk people acted around me. All sloppy. I wanted to be in control of what I did, and I seen how drunk people did stupid shyt rather it be cheating to driving drunk to getting into random pointless fights.
I didnt even drink on my 21st birthday. I wanted too, but I ended up driving cause my friend who was gonna drive had some other shyt pop up. I wanted everyone to still go out and have fun, so I drove
21 I graduated from Heald ( not shyt to most of yall, but I hardly passed high school, learning shyt aint for me) and started my own business (legit, business license and all) but it didnt work out. I ended up getting hired at AT&T, still 21.. Quickly became top sales person in the district, was even #1 in north california in U-Verse sales 3 months in a row, was getting West Director type recognition
Still no alcohol, and by now no need either. But if a girl wanted to roll up, I would be open to smoking if it came to it. But now I was making $4000 a month on a bad a month and $6000+ on a good month. At 21way more money than any one i knew close to my age. Moved out of my parents, got a NICE apartment. Life was good.. I was 21, single, making $60k+ a year, lived on my own, credit was great.
By the time I turned 22, I started going out more. Girls was always asking how come I was never drinking. Partys... clubs.. pool halls.. "take a shot with me!" nah im good.. Fast forward a few months, one of my co workers is a club promoter, promoting clubs on broadway in frisco and local ones and a few bachelor partys later, I started drinking.. but only a lil. I was light weight! 2 shots and I was good.. I had restraint. I liked the buzz, felt more relaxed at clubs.
2 shots became 3 adioses soon.. Then 3 adioses became 5 vodka redbulls, then 5 vodka redbulls to buying a 5th and pregaming in the car and then still buying drinks. That eventually turned into I needing a drink everytime I went to a party or club, I wanted to buy a bottle and get drunk when I went out. I could down a 5th of goose or henny by myself if I wanted too now.. I became a social drunk too, so I wanted to buy everyone around me drinks as well (real expensive). I went from spending $20 to get into clubs, to buying 2 shots ($45 total after tips) to every time I went out was minimum $100.
When I originally got hired aT&T I was hired as part time, but they had me working 40 hours a week still. My manager eventually got fired, and the new manager gave me a choice to stay part time but only work 28-32 hours a week but id I would have saturdays off. or transfer to another store and be full time(not have saturdays off). My dumbass wanted to "live life" so I chose the part time. I was making most my money from commission anyway... at least I thought... Hourly speaking alone was $500-600 less a month not counting over time. And since I wasnt working saturdays and only like 4 hours on sunday, my commission checks were getting hit hard too. So now im going out more, but making less money than I was before. Not a good combination at all.
I ended up having to move back with my parents, credit ended up getting fukked bad for being late on bills and stupid shyt that was easy for me to maintain before, and the month before my 23rd birthday I ended up getting fired from AT&T(unrelated to drinking, a bunch of shyt really.. but maybe alcohol lead to all that I dunno, this my first time really typing this shyt out)
You think that shyt would get my life in order.. nah.. my 23rd birthday I end up getting VIP at a club and poppin bottles getting drunk and shyt. Ended up getting hired at Honda a few weeks after my birthday, but cot damn everyone at the dealership drinks even more than me! We was going to pool halls during random ass days and times, buying bottles every weekend and drinking them then hitting frisco after to drink some more at clubs.. Im maintaining on my current bills, but not really on my old bills im late on.. so credit still fukked and the money I could be using to fix it, im using to buy VIP at clubs and drinks at the bar.
One of the managers of a club we always went to on Broadway in frisco, ended up working for Honda and we became coo so we ended up getting a nice apartment together(pause). fukk that was a horrible decision looking back on it. He is a manager at a club! I ended up being coo with all the bar tenders , club owners , promoters and other people who work in the club. If they werent giving me free bottles for VIP, I was getting endless free drinks at the bar. Life was fun, but I aint have shyt to show for my life.. Going to work hungover n shyt, sometimes even drinking at work.. When I first started working at AT&T at 21, I picked up a great habit of hitting the gym 5-6 times a week body lookin pretty good no homo, but by now even living 2 damn stop lights from a 24 hour fitness I would be too lazy or too tired to go to the gym more than once or twice a week or even a few weeks without going at all at times...
I hated working at Honda hours were long and the pay was too up and down (its almost all commission for the most part). I ended up getting hired at Chase as a banker and then eventually landed back in the cell phone industry at Verizon after a few months at Chase (really.. I should still be at chase , another bad decision but I left to hopefully gain more money at Verizon so I had good intentions at least, just not a long term career in mind which I would of had at Chase moving up to be a business banker or loan officer)
I ended up moving out of the apartment (lease was over) and moving back closer to my friends and family.. I thought this would motivate me to go to the gym more and get my shyt right especially since I had good intentions to make more money at another job, and I would be saving a lot more money with way cheaper rent living with some friends. Wrong. Being closer to my friends and family I just replaced drinking at clubs with drinking at partys and kick its..
Now im 25, turning 26 July 12th, I have no house that I can say I own, im not close to being married (pro and con), no kids (thankfully, I used to think id be a great dad but with how I currently act I dont think so now and I dont want a kid to be an excuse for me to "finally get my shyt right" I wanna be right before I have a kid). I recently blacked out the night of the Mayweather fight, almost got into a random fight at a bar I guess (real dumb its cinco de mayo weekend prolly woulda went to jail) ended up fukking my ex who I cant stand, who I felt was trying to trap me with a baby at one point in time.. I guess she said the right shyt to me and I was drunk enough to respond.. like I said I blacked out that night, pretty much woke up the next day to this weak bytch getting outta my bed in the morning praying I didnt nut in that bytch.
I didnt drink for 2 weeks after this.. was feeling good.. but cot damn graduation time.. hard to say no to shots at graduation partys around people family n shyt.. so had a good buzz, but not crazy drunk the other week.. this past weekend, memorial weekend and one of my good female friends graduation party.. I ended up spending $350 on BOTTLES.. from COSTCO and random liquor stores... what the fukk? We talking like $30-50 a bottle, I bought 3 gallons and 5 5ths.. Its not even for my party..not VIP at a club or something.. I keep thinking today like why the fukk did I spend so much on liquor. Well really I been thinking about why ive spent so much on liquor in my life time.. Saturday night I get dumb drunk, dont remember half the night.. Monday I paced myself and had a great buzz. For me, monday was my sweet spot for drinking.. if I could just get that buzzed and show that much restraint every time I drink I feel id be doing way better in life right now. I dont wanna give up drinking, I wanna give up needing to drink till im past buzzed and just fully drunk when I go out. If I can do this, I wouldnt randomly buy random bottles at partys to keep the party going and shyt.. I would be buzzed and call it a night..
Im going to Vegas for the first time may 31st- June 3rd.. I wanna make this my "aight after this get ya shyt straight" point. Ive been to enough clubs and spent enough on alcohol to last a few life times. Its funny.. the closer I get to finally travelling for the first time in my life (yeah I know its only vegas for yall, but its a big deal to me, I aint never really took a vacation in my whole life.. been working since 15! ) the more I wanna be more just "buzzed" than drunk.. Not saying I will accomplish this in vegas, but I would love to.. might be unrealistic but all I really wanna do this summer is just get my shyt straight
Ive always been a hustler, always been about my money. But when I was younger I would think of ways to flip my money to more money. Now I just wanted to get money to pop bottles in the club.. thats hustling backwards.. I dont want this shyt no more
I know no one here really cares, but this is my first time really talking about this maybe because yall just strangers n shyt but fukk it, its late night I doubt anyone really reads all this shyt
too long didnt read ;
I became the exact opposite person I wanted to be. Had my shyt straight, and now I dont.
shyts scressful
It's refreshing to see you NOT blaming the alcohol like most people would
Very introspective and honest; Good read. Good luck in
