This not the first time you've quoted this @PaperBoi, so I'm giving a decent and honest response here so that I can quote my own response when it comes up again in the future.
I don't really even say that word anymore. Once I saw guys like Logic, and brehs born and raised in the suburbs using it so loosely, I realized how corny it was and had to delete it from my vocabulary. This is a joke.
It still slips out every so often though, like if I'm reciting song lyrics, or like if I almost slip on snow, or if I bang my shin on a truck/trailer hitch. In those moments I might say it, but I'm only saying it to myself, and there'll be literally no one else around at that time. In those moments, it's an expression of frustration. It's more of a nature vs nurture thing. I'm a product of my environment. Like I said though, I have made a conscious effort to consider the feelings of others though, and try to not say it at all. I've come to find that with a little effort, I barely even say it now.
I still do use words like negro and moreno in Spanish, but those are only negative depending on the adjective that accompanies them. I'm not sure of your Spanish level, but if you don't know about these words, please take a break from watching gay porn and go learn some more.