of course i will! my grandmother was in a wheelchair and could not use her legs and could not walk at all. She lived in a house surrounded by woods. It is next to impossible to mow the yard when you cannot use your legs so she would hire this little Kat Williams looking guy to come and mow it. One day, in a crime of passion, i threw him from the house by the back of his collar and by the back of his waistband. i gripped both at once so that i could generate enough power for the toss. Feeling guilty, i had meant to go up there and mow the yard myself. It was 16 months before i got up there though. To my surprise, the yard was pristine brehs. I spoke to her, and asked her if she had hired someone else bc i knew that the first guy could not have come back bc i am man and thus, my word is supreme. once i ban someone, they stay banned. She told me that 'the hairy man' had done it, and that he always came at night.
Brehs, i waited three nights to see who this 'hairy man' was and on the 3rd night i witnessed a sight that would make your blood run cold. I had been in the living room sleeping on the floor and the first two nights i was shook bc there would be this light that came up the hill and then would sit in front of the house and then there'd be a loud thump and then it would go back down the hill. It took me 2 nights to figure out that that was the paperman, but i held my own. On the third night, I was awakened by rummaging in the shed outside, then i crawled over to the window and looked out there. There was a tall bipedal ape-like beast pouring gasoline into my grandfather's lawnmower. He was the height of Manute Bol but with the girth of current Shaquille O'Neal. I mean a naked Rick Ross wearing a fullbody Rick James wig-looking mufukka. He then pulled the chord and it sputtered. Again he pulled it, and again it refused to work. He said something that sounded like a curse word. It was then that my grandmother's turkey Hortense came around the corner and was looking into my eyes. I had long hated that bird but i was terrified at the moment. I put my finger to my lips and made the 'shh' sound but this stupid mufukka knocked over a bucket right beside the bigfoot which alerted him.
I had one of those huge floodlight flashlights that cost like a hundred dollars bc i like to have the maximum amount of light possible. I flipped it on and, in my fear and haste, accidentally flashed that shyt in my own face which caused me to scream and black out for a minute bc i had volts working in that bytch. But in two seconds, i had flipped it around and turned it on the ape-like beast. Got him right in the face, which resulted in him bellowing and then toppling backwards down the hill. The forest claimed him brehs. I called the police but they never came. Never saw him again, but yes, that is my bigfoot encounter.
. For all I know you stole that and I still wouldn't be mad. That shyt was hysterical. Real or not, have some rep 
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